Ivey Lane: the inner voice of a not-so-average woman

HNT_The Big Apple

2011-07-27T21:51:00.000-04:00

Greetings friends and fellow bloggers! Gone but not forgotten, dear old Ivey and her beloved partner/photographer are continuing to gallivant about the country. Last time I posted it was the wild and wonderful West; this month -- New York City, baby! The Big Apple! And I couldn't resist taking advantage of the opportunity.

We have a whole lot more on the calendar so maybe we'll add a new shot every once in a while and make it a traveling series.

As always, don't forget the rest of the Half Nekkid Thursday fun over at Osbasso's place!

XO
Ivey

What's up with Ivey?

2011-06-12T09:47:00.000-04:00

I glanced over at my archive list and boy oh boy, I have seriously fallen off the blogging wheel. I knew that, of course. And it's true Vince and I have been and will continue to be crazy busy for at least another 4 months or so with work related projects. But I saw Hubman's post the other day "Whatever happened to...." and I realized that a) I also kind of wondered what happened to some of those folks and b) not that I've been inundated with requests or notes for info, I don't want anyone to wonder that about me.

First of all, nothing is wrong. In fact, life is pretty freakin' grand right now. On the Lifestyle front, Vince and I have finally -- after two years -- hit our stride. We have friends we play with and are meeting new people regularly. Some of them we plan to attend a party or two with if we can find a party that suits our more laid back style than the one I wrote about here. Some of the couples are indeed developing into friendships, the kind that we enjoy and we may even plan a short trip or two. We've also learned to enjoy encounters that maybe last for one night.

We've planed out, so to speak, in a good way. That doesn't mean we don't have growing to do as individuals and a couple. There are still areas where we disagree but we also know that sooner or later our thinking is going to evolve in some new fashion that we've both yet to anticipate. For me, the sense of frustration, of denial and missing out, is gone; for Vince, I think he's found his comfort zone which allows him to relax and enjoy the people we meet.

However, I've lost all desire to write about it here. Perhaps it's the dramatist in me, but without conflict, where's the story? If there's nothing to overcome, no dragons to slay, no demons to confront, no battle to win, then I lose my desire to chronicle. And I never, ever, want to be an "advice" dispensary. I'm neither qualified nor interested. So what is there to say?

It's been a little over two years since Vince and I started, at my prompting, this particular phase of our adventure, three years since I'd conquered the body-image/self-loathing problem, four or five since I'd confronted both the errors and grace of my family, childhood, and youth. There are, indeed, more demons out there (or rather "in here") to confront. But I think, at least for the rest of the summer, Vince and I are simply going to enjoy our new found openness, albeit while we're working our asses off.

So from time to time I may post a photo or two (LUV me some HNT!) or pop in to say hi. I probably won't give the blow-by-blow (hehe) recap of what's happening around Ivey Lane and in fact, I may decide to start or return to another blog. My inner voice is becoming my outer voice (much to Vince's consternation, I assure you!) and goodness knows I do like to speak my mind! Somewhere.

So I'll leave you with a photo from our latest little jaunt. We were at Arches National Park in Moab, UT. To reach this particular spot you had to climb a trail that the National Park Service dubbed "strenuous," and it was. On the way up and at the top there are no safety lines, guard rails, cautions, anything. If you fall, you will definitely be seriously hurt but most likely you won't survive the 100 - 300 foot drops to the stones below. You can't see them in this photo because we got to the top fairly early, but there were people and kids everywhere, scampering up, down, and over rock formations, leaping across gaps where one slip and it's all the fuck over.

But wow. Just fucking wow was it ever worth it. Some people can't climb up here because they aren't physically or mentally able. Some people won't because they are afraid or not interested. Some will cling to the rock faces and bitch and moan and not enjoy - or ruin for others -- the wonder and beauty that's right in front of them, theirs for the taking. But to miss such a sight? To not try? Because of fear or weakness? Because someone else tells you it's too dangerous or not worth it? Holy hell. Vince and I know that one day we won't be able to make such a climb. These views will only be memories.

And we'll continue to keep our eyes peeled and our hearts open for folks like us to share this journey with, this short and precious life, at least for a mile or two. So this is me -- getting refreshed, taking a break, enjoying the view, and as always, watched over by my beloved Vincent. I'll catch y'all later.

XO -- Ivey

What a view -- HNT

2011-06-09T08:29:00.000-04:00

Happy HNT one and all. It's been a while but Ivey's still alive and kickin'! In fact, we've been a bit crazy with work and life and all. But we strive to mix business with pleasure as much a possible so here's an HNT we snuck in on our recent trip to Colorado. Awesome view, isn't it?

Don't forget to swing by Osbasso's place for the rest of the Half-Nekkid-Thursday scenes! I certainly think this shot fits in with this week's "dry" theme. LOL

Proj365 -- catching up (and gaps)

2011-05-21T08:52:00.000-04:00

Here's a little catch up, without a lot of explanations or excuses. You may notice gaps in the photo days and yes, there are days I didn't take a photo.

123-365 -- Seen on a bike ride.

126-365 Airport bookstore. Usually it's just the same ol' best sellers. Not at Dulles, baby!

127-365 -- More Dulles customer service. Though I must say, I didn't indulge. The masseuses really didn't seem to be enjoying their work.

129-365 -- A Saturday night out and another cool sink in a club.

132-365 -- Beach toes. Vince and I took a couple of days and went to the beach. I meant to take some work with me and get a few things done but I forgot my jump drive. Shame on me.

FYI -- the next three photos are totally un-photoshopped. What you see is what I saw.

139-365 The road to work. Off on another work project and this one is in the heartland. We had to drive more than 8 miles down this road to get to where we needed to be. But wow. Just wow.

140-365 The prairie. And this is where we needed to be. Miles and miles and miles of stunning America. Holy cow, it's cool.

141-365 A round barn ruin. Of course, we weren't the first to come around here. This old ruin was out in the middle of it. Cool, eh? Even in this part of the world, a round barn was an oddity.

141-365 Water pump. And of course, I like to explore and found this inside the barn. (Found lots of other things too but can only catch up with so many shots here.) It was amazingly still and quiet in here. The barn was miles from pretty much anything, anywhere, and anyone. Awesome.

To catch you up a little on our Lifestyle life the fact of it is we've been over run with new friends, new experiences, and new activities. Quite frankly, with the crazy busy work schedule right now, we're having a hell of a time fitting it all in! I want to write more on the topic, or rather, I want to write more about why I'm not writing about it, but the time and the inclination just haven't been there. My blog and my life are evolving once again. A friend suggested that I not worry about the blog so much and just let thing roll; see what happens and how it changes. At the moment, I'm going with that.

Catch y'all later.

FlutteRing -- An Eden Fantasy's Toy Review

2011-05-14T10:21:00.001-04:00

If shrieking with laughter at your own mechanical incompetence is your thing, then you'll LUV the Romance Enhancing Fluttering. http://www.edenfantasys.com/sex-toys-for-men/vibrating-penis-rings/romance-enhancing-fluttering It took a few tries, and it isn't the way the manufacturer intended, but we finally found a way this little sucker worked for us and well, isn't that the point of a good sex toy?

The Fluttering is a vibrating cock ring with a few little extra enhancements. On a scale of 1 - 10, Vince and I give this little gizmo a 7 with caveats. I would have given it an 8 if it freakin' had instructions on the package.

In a nutshell, the cock ring fits over the penis (or dildo) with the vibrating end on top of the shaft in order to stimulate the clitoris and obviously, the man's penis. The two wings are supposed to stimulate the labia and the small ball at the end is supposed to tickle her anus. None of those things worked out so well.

The trouble is, I can't tell you what the positives were without first explaining the negatives. First, and really, I hate to sound like a moron, but this little cutie-pie didn't come with instructions. Let's just say it took several tries to find an orientation that went from "ow" to "wow." There is a nice video that another reviewer placed on the Eden Fantasy's site (you can see it at the link above) that I found AFTER we had our first encounter with it. It was nice "ohhhhhh, so THAT's how it was supposed to work" but we had fun trying different orientations -- bullet on top towards clit, bullet on bottom towards anus, bullet on top facing him. and no we didn't try bullet facing his anus 'cause, well, he don't dig that.

There were two problems for us using it "correctly" with the bullet on top towards my clit: first, it didn't reach it; second, the hard vibe hurt when he thrust. The wings were just annoying and I couldn't feel the soft little tail.

HOWEVER, when we turned it over, the vibrations against my ass were fantastic and the soft rubber ball was an enhancement, not an annoyance. The little wings didn't add much, but didn't detract much either.

It cleans easily and the bullet itself is terrific. The package does say that it's multi-speed but the one that came in this package isn't. Oh well. I'm usually a "set it and forget it" girl anyway.

It also isn't expensive and is a fun little novelty to have in the toy chest. However, because you can't put a condom on it, Vince and I wouldn't share this item with friends and it will remain a "just for us" item.

If you're interested in finding other penis rings or simply other adult toys, then click on either of the links below.

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sex-toys-for-men/vibrating-penis-rings/ -

http://www.edenfantasys.com/ -

115-120 Proj365 -- Stunning beauty

2011-04-30T09:58:00.000-04:00

Some of you guessed that Vince and I were out west for the week and yep, that was the case. We were in the Jackson Hole and Yellowstone area. I won't go in to too many details (since it would just take too much room) but here are a few photos for your enjoyment.

115-365 Sunday -- Yellowstone: In one day we saw more bison than we could count (mostly walking on the marvelously deserted park roads, Old Faithful, the mud pots, two grizzlies, lots of elk, a wolf, a coyote, ground steaming from the lava not too far below the surface, and more general beauty and vistas than one could shake a stick at. This photo was actually taken from the rental car as we were just driving around the park. Wow. It was also National Parks Week so we got in for free. Bonus wow.

116-365 Monday -- Lone Wolf: Off we went to the Bear and Wolf Discovery Center. This lad, in fact the whole crew, were like practiced models.Perfectly posing for our cameras. He wasn't exactly alone though, there were two packs, kept separate, but that they Center took care of and let me tell you, they were all gorgeous. On of the coolest things about our trip is that it was off season and most of the places we went were almost empty. Not only did we have places, but we also had the rangers and guides pretty much too ourselves.

117-365 Tuesday -- Wildlife Art Museum: A museum dedicated totally to wild animals depicted in fine art. Again, we pretty much had the place to ourselves so we got a private tour with a docent. This is a close up photo of pretty large painting, about 4'x6'.

Same museum, this one was HUGE! It took up almost an entire wall.

118-365 Wednesday -- Sweet, suite upgrade! When we got to Jackson Hole I was able to talk our wonderful hotel into an upgraded suite. You already saw the jacuzzi in this week's HNT but here's part of the main room; you can't see it, but there is an almost floor to ceiling picture window on the left and a full kitchen on the right. They spoiled us!

119-365 Thursday -- Lone Bison: This guy wasn't actually alone either, but with his herd. We took a drive out to a wildlife refuge and these guys were just hanging out, munching by the side of the dirt road.

Of course, everybody's got to eat and we also found this guy by the side of the road as well. It's a young elk with plenty of bite marks on it's rib cage. Because it was a refuge, I'm pretty sure it wasn't hit by a car but instead a predator found a meal. We're guessing wolves, the same gorgeous, pet-like looking creatures we saw at the Discovery Center a couple of days before.

120-365 Friday -- Good lord, does the grandeur ever end?: We had some time to kill before we caught our plane out so we just decided to take a drive and see what else there was to see. Everywhere you look was beauty and I wondered "How long would you have to live here before you started to take all of this for granted?"

120-365 Friday -- Bye-bye, lov-ah! Ahhhhhh..... me 'n the jacuzzi got awfully close. Every night I climbed in here (sometimes with Vince - hehe) and let the swirling massage take me away. I'll miss the beauty of Wyoming and nature, and also the warm embrace of bubbly, relaxing tub!

That was the week folks! I'm back in sunny Florida for a few days then heading out again! Catch you all later!

HNT -- Quite a pair

2011-04-27T22:48:00.000-04:00

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday, everyone! Vince and I are quite a pair. We work and travel together; we're together ALL THE TIME, yet still enjoy ourselves immensely. On our latest jaunt we headed to the mountains. After a little sweet talk by yours truly, the lovely hotel staff where we're staying upgraded us to the sweet-suite of the hotel -- mountain views, fireplace, full kitchen and .....

two-person jacuzzi tub! After a hard days work, here's how the Lane's unwind:

I'll catch you guys up on the rest of the week later! We've been having a ball. ;) In the meantime, don't forget to check out the rest of the HNT fun at Osbasso's place!

Proj365 -- a weeks worth

2011-04-24T08:47:00.001-04:00

A bit behind in posting Proj365 photos so I'm going to do a quick catch up:

109-365 Monday -- A Rose from a friend. This rose is from the birthday party the night before. The B-day girl gave all the ladies in attendance one from the MASSIVE bouquet she received from someone who couldn't make it. It's making me miss my rose bushes but until the Virginia Creeper is eradicated, yours truly ain't stepping foot into the damn yard.

110-365 Tuesday -- You know you're in Florida 1: The transplants to Florida LUV their Bingo and HATE their friends' grandkids!

111-365 Wednesday -- Something one needs to know, I guess. The Bingo folks might not care for the young'uns, but the folks at Bodum do. I gave Vince a French press coffee maker for Christmas and our drip coffeemaker gave up the ghost a few weeks later. The other morning, we finally got around to reading the instructions on the side.

I guess the normal users of a French Press need to be told to keep hot fluids and kids separate. Is that because it's "french" or is that because it's pretentious coffee making?

111-365 (still Wednesday) You know you're in Florida 2: The guys (and it's always guys) who hang the fake testicles from the back of their trucks are just annoying. But this guy gets extra points. Yep, those are actually large "nuts" welded to a huge chain, attached to his trailer hitch. Seriously dude. Seriously.

112-365 Thursday -- Tiny frogs: On my run their were more babies (in addition to the ducks.) These little guys were everywhere and I looked like a moron trying to run and not step on any of them. I'm sure I failed and the guilt is killing me. Maybe there should be a warning label for their little frog parents -- "baby frogs and runner's feet should be kept apart."

113-365 Friday -- retiree madness: They may be grandkid hatin', bingo lovin' freaks, but they also have an eye for tricking out their golf carts. Note the neon glow beneath this rad roadster.

114-365 Saturday -- A good question: Vince and I are off on another travel adventure and we found this sign posted in one of the Salt Lake City airport eateries. I guess in our case, the answer is kind of obvious, at least to the readers of this blog. Hehe.

114-365 Saturday -- Majestic: And here we are. This is our locale for the next week so posting will be sporadic though you may not be able to tell a difference though considering my posting regularity, or lack thereof, lately.

Hope you all have a great week! I'm sure Vince and I will have plenty of photos and we'll try to come up with a really good HNT!

106&107-365 Goodness and Sadness

2011-04-16T08:32:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the continuing, on-going, and seemingly inexhaustible incompetence of our elected leaders, Vince and I have been kind of idled recently. So we've been filling our time dining out, going to movies, having drinks in bars at 2:00 pm, and so on. Yesterday I started ripping our CD collection to my computer. Good times.

106-365 Yummy Goodness. I didn't actually eat any of these sugary delights. I was too busy enjoying the bar-b-que at the new joint that opened up in town. Line out the door to get in but it was indeed, quite tasty.

107-365 Sadness. Damn it. Last week Red and Louisa quit coming to their nest and I just fucking knew it. The babies were gone. Whatever got them this year didn't tear up the nest like last year which makes me think it may have been one of the many raptors we have around here -- owls, hawks, ospreys, eagles, whatever. I get that it's nature and all, but it saddens me none the less. This is the third year and next year, if they start building their nest in these same bushes, I'm going to knock it down. My heart just can't take it.

With my legs still being in the same sad shape, I decided we can't go on any dates (and we've had the opportunity) and we aren't going to any parties (and there's one we've wanted to go to for a while) so this weekend is going to be pretty straight up vanilla. We may take the motorcycle out today, I'm going to hang with a girlfriend tonight. Tomorrow, we're off to the theater then another friend's surprise 60th birthday party.

On another sad note, I found out last week that one of my second cousins died. She'd had a very hard life of illness, depression, drug and alcohol abuse but it appeared she was getting better. She was about my age and her daughter (who is single and currently pregnant with her first child) found her dead at 2:30 in the morning. They'd watched a movie together the night before, and sometime between turning in for the night and when her kid got up to go pee in the wee hours of the night, her heart stopped.

Next week, I have a house guest. I've mentioned before my friend whose husband has brain cancer. She needs a break. Of course, it will cramp Vince and my time for our usual anytimewefuckin'feellikeit fucking, but sometimes one must make sacrifices. In all seriousness, it's yet another reminder of that life is short, unpredictable and can be astoundingly sad and difficult. Give what you can when people need it, lighten the load, share the burden as well as the joy. Don't hold back. Don't be scared. It's a very short trip from cradle to grave.

HNT -- The girls in public (also 105-365)

2011-04-14T08:22:00.000-04:00

Happy HNT one and all! Since my legs can't be on display these days I like to dress my girls up and take them out on the town. :)

Don't forget to check out the rest of the Half-Nekkid fun over at Osbasso's place!

XO
Ivey

102-104/365 Butchers and plagues

2011-04-14T08:19:00.000-04:00

A quick catch up:

101-365 Denuded: Who the hell would do this to a tree? Two people I know and love dearly. Sigh.

103-365 Butchered: These are, or rather were, my Easter Lilly plants. They have grown in the back yard, unmolested since we moved into our house 12 years ago. For some stupid reason, the yard guys decided to "trim them up." Have you ever seen anything so dumb-ass? The plants will probably survive into next year (they're tough), but they don't recover from this type of butchery in the season. Sigh.

104-365 Plague: I've been whining about it and here it is -- these are my great gams TWO WEEKS after the Virginia Creeper exposure, in other words, this is them looking BETTER! Dear lord, the temps are finally back into the sticky upper 80s and I can't wear shorts or even a dress for fear of causing a public health panic. Sigh.

Okay, the next post is HNT. I'll cheer up.

A Night at the Gentleman's Club (and 101-365 Baby Ducks!)

2011-04-11T09:23:00.000-04:00

I know you're all dying to see the baby ducks so if you must, go ahead and scroll down to check them out. Cute, cute, cute!!

And now, a night at the club:

We met our friends at a local martini bar and marveled at how it felt like only last week since we saw them. It's actually been over a month. But the sexy chit chat and laughter still flowed nicely and after a relaxing snack and round o'drinks, we set out for the strip club. We chose the premier upscale club in our area, the place where the food really IS outstanding the ladies really ARE stunning. Our seats were perfect; just back from the dance area and right in front of the main pole.

I'm glad I saw the "rules" post that I wrote about yesterday. I felt completely relaxed. In fact, that is the second of the two things that cause me to stress out -- not knowing how to behave or what to expect. And it's closely related to the most stressful cause of tension for me -- inappropriate, obnoxious, or clueless behavior. Seriously, I can't watch "Curb Your Enthusiasm" for that very reason and have a hell of a time watching "The Office."

Anyway, back to the story. The atmosphere was great -- clean, just the right amount of lighting, not crowded but not empty. The music was up but not overly loud to the point you couldn't laugh and hear your own conversation. There were a LOT of girls and they were all lovely and had a nice range from very thin to slightly curvy. One surprising thing was that they were all very natural; no garish makeup, no fake boobs, no wacked-out hairstyles. But the shoes... OMG the shoes! Three to four inch platforms with an additional three to four inch heel. Damn. And they didn't fall over. Not once. I'm sure most of the men do not marvel or even notice such things but I sure as hell did. And was even more impressed.

Speaking of impressed, most of the ladies really could pole dance and I mean that in an athletic way. The Cirque du Soliel performers have nothing on these women!

At first, the Mrs. and I were the only two women customers in the club and there were probably 20 - 30 men. One table of guys were the "make it rain" types and they were seated just a few feet away. Needless to say, they were getting a lot of attention from the ladies, buying lots of table dances, so through proximity we kind of got a little bonus. Hehe.

So after another glass of wine I finally worked up the nerve to tip a dancer, a lovely Latina lady, perfect skin, medium sized boobs, great smile and she smiled at me a lot. I took my dollar up to the edge of the stage, ignored the thoughts in my head of "what the hell are the men in the club thinking of me right now" nerves, waited patiently for her to notice me (which she did, very quickly), and immediately dropped my dollar.

Damn. I laughed and picked it up, slid it under her garter, told her that she was lovely. A little while later, she came by the table making her "thank you" rounds and yes, I got my first table dance. She was a terrific pro -- great dancer, terrific body, lovely smile and laugh. I was thoroughly entertained and yes, it was worth the $$.

And Vince was entertained too. And the other couple. And it was just an all around great night. The Mrs. and I made out in the ladies room (wheee!) and went back to the table where each whispered that fact into the others husband's ear. When we left the club we had some seriously sexy good night kisses in the parking lot along with curses at the fuckin' Poison Ivy/Virginia Creeper that was preventing the four of us from having a serious fuckin' throw down. Damn.

But we're going to see them in a few weeks time. Vince and I are tied up with work and travel through the end of the month but the delay should give me time to heal. In the meantime, I anticipate some sexy, flirty texts and maybe a few picture exchanges. There's a party next weekend that we'd planned to attend but for now the jury's out on that one as well. It's a Hef and Bunny party. I can't do "bunny" in this condition. Sigh.

But after all this time on this long road, I think Vince and I are finally hitting our stride.

And now, 101-365: the baby ducks:

Strip Club Etiquette (and catching up on Proj365)

2011-04-09T11:12:00.000-04:00

Tonight I'm going to my first strip club and once again, fate has brought me timely advice! Reading the Huffintonpost this morning I find this article "The Strip Diary, Day 4: An expert video guide to Gentleman's Club Etiquette." Perfect!! At the end of the article there's a link to a video with two current and one former strippers who offer expert advice on some do's and don't's. Obviously, they are speaking mostly to how men should behave but at the end, they address women's behavior as well. I feel prepared as it seems simple enough:

Dress appropriately. (Look good. Men no sweatpants or linen trousers, wear underwear and that goes for the ladies too.)
Keep your mouth closed (as in don't have "bass mouth" when a dancer is giving a dance i.e. working)
Keep hands to your self.
Don't grind back if the dancer is grinding on you.
Smile if you're enjoying yourself, make eye contact.
If you don't want a dance, just say "no thank you." Nothing more and definitely not "maybe later." (Sounds like rule one of swinger-dom)
Ladies, you're a customer/client, not an employee of the club. The pole and the dance floor is where people work, not play. It is not for you.
Ladies, don't go if you're going to be jealous.
Enjoy the entertainment.
Don't be an ass.

On to Proj365!

98-365 Ducks!! I do my run/walk thing around at our community Rec center which has a retention pond / water feature. As soon as the thing was built a bunch of ducks took up residence in this new urban wetlands. On my first jog around I saw them with all their little ducklings but by the time I came back around with camera ready they'd hid the kids and just the grown-ups were hanging out. Maybe I'll catch them on Sunday.

99-365 Grand-dog! Our new tenant has a dog. She's 24 and young enough to be our daughter so we've decided he's going to be our grand-dog. We get to play with him and have a good time but we don't have to clean up after him, feed him, or take him for walks when it's pouring rain. And Vince and I absolutely LOVE dogs and it's so wonderful to have this guy around. We look forward to baby sitting, play dates, and the general health and well-being that comes from having a dog on the place. Of course, we now have to be careful of not co-opting this verygoodboyyesheishesaverygoodboy!

100-365 Babies!! I mentioned that I thought Red and Louisa had chicks in their nest and yep, here they are! There are three of them and our back door Cardinals have been working like crazy to keep these little mouths fed. There are three of them in there and now I'm just a wreck. Are you can see, the kids are unattended and though this is a nice neighborhood it's wild kingdom around here -- birds, cats, snakes, oh my! I'm just going to keep fretting until these little guys are out of the nest.

That's all for today folks! I'm now off to enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Damn, damn, damn!

2011-04-08T18:42:00.000-04:00

I get it. It's funny. Haha. Ivey Lane gets into Virginia Creeper, which is really just like Poison Ivy and has to alter her (and Vince's) plans with a wonderful couple of swinger-types for Saturday night. Get it? Ivey? Ivy? DAMN!!

On a positive note we just changed the plans, didn't cancel them, and I'm anticipating a terrific evening out on the town. We're going to have dinner then head to a strip club -- a first for yours truly. Wheeee!!

But that's the thing. From the beginning, it's been about more than sex and fucking for me. It's about adventure, good times, openness, laughs, enjoyment of the broader, wider, richer world. At the risk of sounding like a freak, it's always been about personal growth. I don't want to be a one-note-nellie on anything and we truly enjoy these people and the fact that we find each other sexy as hell is icing on one hell of a yummy cake.

It was funny though. As I finally realized that the rash that has eaten my leg was too much of an obstacle to overcome I had to figure out what to say to our friends. Let me tell you folks, this was NEVER something where I thought I'd need to know the proper etiquette.

"Hi! It's Ivey. We'd love to see you but I'm too hideous to fuck. Really. I look like a leper. Would you like to get together anyway or would you rather just call it off because hey, if we can't put out, really, what would be the point?"

Needless to say I pulled myself together before I picked up the phone realizing one of the most wonderful learning experiences of the LS -- "Not this time" doesn't mean "Not ever." And good times can and will be had. And priming the pump can be a ton of fun.

95&96-365 Meet Louisa

2011-04-06T07:46:00.000-04:00

95-365 Monday: This is Louisa. She and her best beau Red have, for the second year in a row, made their nest right outside our back door. She has a couple of eggs in there and I think they may have just hatched (she's been a bit puffed up lately.) I have to tell you though, this is just frazzling my nerves. You see, last year they built the nest and hatched the chicks and within a week either a cat or a snake or something got into the nest. I am now so nervous I can't stand it.

96-365 Tuesday: I've decided to I want to try my hand (or my feet, rather) at a 5k run. I haven't run in YEARS. In fact, I haven't run since the 8th grade. But I've wanted to give it a shot and see if I can do it. The training regimen has me gradually building up running vs. walking with the first day being run 1 minute, walk 1 minute and do that 10 times.

Yesterday was my first day in training and this is what happened to the sky just as I was finishing up.

I got an extra run in racing back to my house to beat the rain. Mother Nature motivates!

92,93,94-365 Weekend wrap up

2011-04-04T08:19:00.001-04:00

Despite some of these photos, we actually had a lovely weekend.

92-365 -- Friday -- Humdinger: The storm last Thursday that caused the water to leak into the house left quite a mess on the trail. Almost the entire length was scattered with debris like this. But the cool thing is the storm brought PERFECT weather back. It's been dry and in the upper 70s again. We only get this type of weather for maybe a few more weeks so we're lovin' every minute of it. :)

93-365 -- Friday -- Poison WTF: Last weekend I got out into my yard to pull some weeds and get rid of some plants that didn't survive the winter freezes. This is what has happened to me the last few times I've worked my front yard. Yep. Poison somthin' or the other. It isn't Poison Ivy (which I think would be wonderfully ironic) because I know exactly what that looks like. I'm very sensitive to it. And I don't think it's Virginia Creeper. But it's on my both arms and legs and itches like a mo-fo. I swear it feels like I've been descended on by the plagues recently.

94-365 -- Sunday -- Cutie pups: Sunday evening was dinner at a friends place. She's an aspiring chef and the food was delicious! Sadly, these two forlorn looking pups didn't get to have any of it. The little guy pulled every big-eyed trick in the book too but we all held firm. I took this when we were heading out and he still looks like he's trying to play me.

We have a nice busy week ahead but I'm going to make an effort not to get so far behind and add a little sexy in here somewhere.

Catch y'all later!

HNT -- Unicorn smiles

2011-03-31T09:51:00.000-04:00

Thought I forgot, didn't you? Here's a little photo of me from our afternoon with the lovely unicorn. I dunno, does it look like I'm having a good time?

Happy HNT one and all! Don't forget to swing by Osbasso's place for some more Half-Nekkid fun!

88 thru 91-365 Random

2011-03-31T09:41:00.000-04:00

Today is about nothing more than not getting behind. The week has been great, tonight is going to be dandy, the weekend is shaping up to be a fine time too. But I'm on a deadline this week folks. And deadlines come first.

This is "the monster." It's a bougainvillea. They get HUGE. They also have thorns an inch or more long. The luv abuse. The less water, the less attention, the harsher the cutting back, the bigger, better, and badder they get. I planted this guy when he was just a pup, barely a foot tall; now he's as tall as my house.

Tuesday evening, I met a girlfriend for a glass of vino. When I got home I realized I hadn't taken a picture so here it is, a little black and white bling.

Our first real thunderstorms started rolling through yesterday so I took another shot out of my front door. This was after one of the first storm cells came through. But it rained like a mo-fo all night. The thunder and lightening was A-MAZ-ZING! at around 4:00 am, I swear it felt like one bolt came through our window. K-BOOM!!

And this is one of the predictable results. Ahhhhh, the joy of old home ownership. Whenever we have the first major rain storm of the season, we wander around the house to see what old spots and new spots have sprung a leak. This is an old spot under one of the front windows. The caulking and plaster shift, dry, and pull during the dry winter and early spring, then when the rain hits it's like someone pours a bucket of water on the floor. Don't let this little trickle fool you. It can flood the room. So we pack it with towels until it quits raining for a day or two and we can get out there and patch the place up again.

86&87-365 It ain't braggin'....

2011-03-28T17:15:00.003-04:00

Not a lot to report this weekend. I spent most of it working but Saturday eve Vince and I wandered downtown for a little vino and socializing.

Same thing on Sunday -- work. But took a break long enough to run to Target. While cruising the aisles looking for what we went there for I spotted this. Really? Someone needs a special device to make quesadillas? Are you freakin' serious? And then to pay $17.99?! Wow.

So I took my snotty self home and with a cast iron frying pan and a pot whipped up Parmesan Crusted Palliards (chicken) and tomatoes with creamy parm polenta and roasted asparagus.

Smug? Maybe. Delicious? Definitely! But another nugget of wisdom from my grandmother -- "It ain't braggin' if you can really do it."

82&85-365 View (and good advice)

2011-03-26T11:13:00.001-04:00

Once again I realized I forgot to post a day. I took this the day Vince and I got back and meant to have it as a companion to the Dogwood tree picture but oh well. My brain's bin a bit out of town lately.

This is a Bottlebrush tree in our front yard, a few days past its peak. I've always loved these flowers (actually bracts) because they are bright red AND it does this several times throughout the summer.

As I came down the stairs yesterday afternoon this was the view out my front door. You can't tell in the photo, but the sun sets over a large lake that you can see through the houses on the far street.

Like everyone else I've collected good and not-so-good advice throughout my life from various sources. There are a few items, though that I've come to think of as absolutes. They never fail me. And every time I ignore their little nugget of wisdom, I get bitten in the ass.

This little jewel was from my paternal grandmother -- "Never forget, if they'll do it to someone else, they'll do it to you. It's only a matter of time." At the time, she was talking about gossipy teen-age girls but I've found over and over that it holds with pretty much anything else. Bullies, liars, cheaters, thieves, back-stabbers and the like. But also the easily offended, overly indignant, hyper-defensive, etc. Everyone has a bad day and everyone, including yours truly, has sore spots and nerves that can be touched, but some people are just too damn prickly. Anyone with whom you must constantly and vigilantly guard their feelings over your own are a fuckin' pain in the ass.

Hence, my recent Facebook purge.

I also cut people for other reasons -- too many "I just had lunch" updates; or a constant litany of unasked for and unappreciated and more importantly insipid spiritual advice; or constantly trying to sell me Lia Sophia Jewelry or whatever other damn thing they were hawking FB page-to-FB page rather than door-to-door.

For those folks my grandmother's applicable advice to me would have been "Remember, people are exactly who they reveal themselves to be. Folks don't suddenly improve themselves just because you wish they would." For the love of Pete, post something funny every once in a while, say something thoughtful; hell, just say something positive or cool! Reveal some intellect, education, compassion, or integrity. But if all someone's going to do is spread nastiness, ignorance, and anger into my home via my computer, then they can't be invited in any more. They ain't gettin' any better just 'cause I wish they would.

84-365 A dash to the ladies room

2011-03-25T17:31:00.000-04:00

How embarrassing. There I was, last night, at a lovely dinner party hosted by a good friend, and I suddenly realized I hadn't taken OR posted an HNT photo the night before. Dammit. I almost dropped my steak knife and knocked over another guest dashing to the ladies' room mumbling something like "yeah, uh, 'scuse me, gotta run, um, I just forgot, I mean remembered, er, er, nevermind." Sad. Really, really sad.

So here's a little quick pic for you folks a day late 'n a dollar short.

Oh, and that is not, I repeat NOT my tummy resting on the counter. It was the blouse being all blouse-y. The blouse, dammit!

But yesterday was pure proof of what I was concerned about in my last post. I got slammed yesterday which jangled my already frazzled last nerve. Worse, for reason's BE-YOND! my control, Vince and I haven't had a good throw down all week. Hell, we haven't had a mediocre, rushed, whammy-bammy session and let me tell ya friends and neighbors, that ain't good for keepin' lil' ol' Ivey on an even keel. Seriously people. I gotta get laid. And I will. Soon. Dammit!

(BTW -- Vince says I always get funnier when I'm vexed about something. I dunno. I don't feel very funny. Damn. It.)

(And PS -- Why is the conjunction of "damn," with an N, and "it" auto corrected to "dammit" with two M's. Hmmmmm?!)

83-365 Cookin' with gas

2011-03-24T16:39:00.000-04:00

I've always loved that phrase -- "We're cookin' with gas now, baby!" Anywhoo, after a zany couple of weeks on the adventure and traveling front, Vince and I are back home and back to normal, sort of. Last night I finally got to cook a real meal again. While Vince grilled the steaks and roasted veggies, I took care of the wild rice and a tasty sauteed mushroom glace. Yum!

But the craziness is about to take off again. Large, time sensitive and complex projects are all starting in rapid succession and we're going to be traveling A LOT. It's also already started that another major client, who'd been missing deadlines, delayed their way right into the middle of my next project right when it needs my full attention. And prepping the next one that starts four weeks from today got it's kick-off, well, today. Indeed, I just spent eight hours in almost continuous work and still didn't get to the one freakin' thing I really wanted to do today.

So posting may be shorter and more "catch up" like for the next few weeks (or months!). If something exciting happens I'll let ya know. In the meantime, I think I'm going to start focusing on further honing my time management and concise writing skills. And cooking. We can't forget cooking.

80&81-365 The mountains

2011-03-21T19:10:00.001-04:00

After a couple of days hard at work and a couple hard at play we decided to slow it down a spell for Sunday. As I'm sure you can tell, we've been in the mountains, so we decided to take a drive and found a cool visitor center for another of our Nation's awesome National Parks.

Of course, the above photo also shows one of the technical challenges I have. I pretty much take and edit all of my photos on my iPhone. Unfortunately, the pictures don't always look the same when I transfer them to my computer to upload here. In this case, I'd added a little color saturation because I wanted the marvelous wood ceiling to stand out a bit more but this isn't exactly what I had in mind. Anyway, on my phone it looks just lovely!

The bear was also at the visitor center and for this one I played around a bit with the "sketch" setting. I thought it turned out pretty cool on the phone even though here I don't think it looks like a sketch at all.

And this was from today..... sigh. Dogwoods. In full bloom. The soft breeze gently knocking the tiny petals to the ground where they look like a blanket of flowers. What you can't see from the photo is that this stand of trees was literally buzzing with thousands of bees; the air practically vibrated.

It's peak season for the Dogwoods right now and every where you turned in the mountains there they were in white, pale pink, or bold pink. Marvelous!

That catches me up on Proj365 so I may take tomorrow off. I have to say, while on our trip I didn't check Facebook, I rarely checked personal email, didn't check the swinger sites (Vince did. Thank goodness!), I didn't read many blogs. I don't do Twitter and I'm not a gal to watch much TV. It's been great. The electronic silence has been soothing to the soul. I may keep it going for a while. We'll see.

78&79-365 Proj365 (And I believe in Unicorns)

2011-03-20T09:47:00.000-04:00

Our travels continue to bring adventures and of course, pictures.

Friday morning we were hiking in the woods and came across this marker. It had obviously been there a while (note the huge tree right behind it) and you can see where it used to have a bronze marker affixed to it. Obviously at some point someone thought this place and/or whatever happened here was important enough to mark.

Not far away, again in the middle of the deep woods, we found this thing -- an iron pipe sticking up out of the ground. Our best guess is that is used to be a water pipe but those days are long gone.

We later learned that this area was once the home of a CCC camp (Civilian Conservation Corp) who brought this area of the world that had been decimated and deforested by over-logging back to health. So yeah, something important happened here.

Later, we left that part of the world to have a little vacation time and THAT'S when we were contacted by Shay the lovely Unicorn. We met her Friday night and let me say wow. Just wow. She was pretty, funny, smart, cute, chatty, informative, and every other positive description. After our terrific "get to know you" date we decided to get together on Saturday. From 1:00pm on, we laughed, giggled, moaned, had FF, MF, FMF sex etc. Vince took a few photos (sorry, you don't get to see them) and a few hours later we went to a fantastic french restaurant for dinner. Our table was in the wine room of the restaurant.

So.... Unicorns. In this lifestyle they are the holy grail. They can pick and choose, the never have to pay "entrance fees" to clubs or parties, they are considered rare and precious. Of course, there is another side that I think most folks in the lifestyle either forget or don't care about... they are people. In Shay's case, her story leading into the land of swinging is amazing. She is navigating this strange world alone, without a partner to protect and cherish her, and Vince does for me.

She was also the victim of a horrible but fucking typical infidelity story. A decade long monogamous, happy (at least she thought so) marriage. At one point her husband wanted to return to school so she worked the two jobs to support him and pay the fees. Two years later, after he graduated he immediately filed for divorce. That's when she learned that he'd been having an affair for those two years with another student. He moved out, she lost her home and her dignity, had to move in with her mother who refused to allow her beloved pets to come with her. She lost most of her friends, or rather realized they weren't friends in the first place. She became so depressed she checked herself into a hospital because she literally didn't think she'd survive.

I don't know her ex-husband and I hate him. I hate the bitch who agreed to participate in the affair. Those selfish, lying bastards unilaterally decided that Shay's life, happiness, mental well-being didn't matter. They were "dissatisfied" or some other shit and chose to lie to her, for fucking years, rather than suck it up, get some fucking guts, and tell this human being the truth.

Cowards and liars. I hate 'em. I'm serious, there are a gazillion other choices the ex and the other woman could have made and still ended up together. When he realized he wasn't happy in his marriage, he could have said so. When he realized he was attracted to someone else, he could have said so. When he first realized he wanted more than sex from the other woman but to start a new life with her, he could have fucking said so. But instead, he took her money, her self-esteem, two years of her life, and her future trust and faith in other people because he was a coward and an asshole. And I don't give a rat's ass if he was otherwise a solid, up-standing citizen; he could be giving money to widows and orphans, rescuing cats, saving the redwoods, and carrying little old ladies across the street on his back but he's a lying son of a bitch. And maybe she had gained a few pounds and wasn't a porn star in the sack but the price for that shouldn't be what she went through.

Take a moment and look at my "About me" blurb. "Generally nice enough except to liars and bullies." That's me. I don't go out of my way, I don't read "infidelity" blogs or go on their sites. I've never visited AshleyMadison. I'm not going to go out of my way to seek out and engage with those who sincerely believe that what they want and supposedly deserve is sooooo much more important than what the person they swore to love and cherish wants or deserves. Because I really, really, REALLY don't like liars.

76&77-365 Proj 365 (and you ain't gonna believe this!)

2011-03-18T16:52:00.000-04:00

Vince and I are off galavanting around the country so posting is going to be a bit sporadic. But since I don't want to get too far behind on Proj365, here are 76&77.

This fluffy fella belong's to friends of ours who we stopped in to visit. He really is excited to see us. This is what he looks like when he's thrilled.

This little (actually not so little; it's about 20 feet long) is a piece of metal art that was just sitting along the side of a road. I think I almost wrecked the rental car turning around to go back and snap this picture.

The next two are from Thurday and it was hard to narrow it down to just these. I had a ton of cool shots but these were the favorites. I'll also include these in my Somewhere in America Series. This is an old corn crib and next to a split rail fence. Like the previous SIA photo of the old home, I do love taking pictures of old things. That doesn't mean I'm nostalic for the past. I'm not. Personally, I think the best thing about the good old days is that they're gone. But the stuff left behind is still cool.

Nature on the other hand is a totally different story. I'm a huge fan and supporter of maintaining natural places. BTW, this is what the the Dept. of Environmental Protection protects, preserving this patch of paradise is the "wasteful spending" that some folks in congress want get rid of. For those who want to eliminate funds to the National Park System, Fish and Wildlife, and those agencies needed to make sure we keep these natural resources healthy and available to the people, I have two words -- fuck you.

So for those of you still reading, you won't believe this -- Vince and I have been contacted by a unicorn. Not just any unicorn, but a smart, funny, pretty and totally cool unicorn. That's all I'm going to say for now. I don't want to jinx anything. But wow. Just wow.

71-,72-,74-,75-365 Catching up

2011-03-16T07:32:00.000-04:00

Getting ready to head to the airport but wanted to catch up on Proj365 first. Got a little behind with all the comings and goings. hehe.

Friday 71-365. My pre-weekend soak. I do luv me some tub time! I needed it before our long and fun-filled weekend. Wheee!

Saturday 72-365 -- Funny Face -- This is a Staghorn Fern. It's a massive plant (about 5 feet across) and it doesn't grow in the ground. It's an air plant and if you look at the lower left side, you can see part of the chain that suspends it from one of our oak trees. Anywhoo, the damn squirrels (who may have abandoned the attic or may simply be regrouping for the next assault) have chewed holes in this one too. But it does look like a face, doesn't it?

Sunday 73-365 This was the flamenco dancers from Monday's post.

Monday 74-365 I do love curves! These beauties are hanging at the local music store, just waiting for the right guy or gal to take them to their new home. One of them is a guitar that Vince has placed on consignment. It's not like he'll miss it. He has about 20 more.

Tuesday 75-365 Our bike ride was hampered a bit by several broken spokes on Vincent's bike. We have no idea how that happened but limped back to the bike shop and now it's fixed up and good as new! (um, with a little road dirt here and there.)

We're off for our next adventure! I'm planning to keep up on Proj365 and have no idea if there will be more to report.

See ya!

It was really only a guideline... (and 73-365)

2011-03-14T09:04:00.000-04:00

What. A. Weekend.

So we left yesterday's post with a single-sentence mention of a date last night with another couple. We "met" Steve and Julie through the swinger-site we belong to when Steve IM'd Vince and they chatted for a while. It turns out that Steve had been involved in swinging a bit in a previous marriage, but for Julie, this was all new. Though I'm hardly an experienced expert, and we do have a rule that I must speak on the phone with the wife before we set up a date with anyone, so Vince told him to have her give me a call if they'd like to meet or if she'd simply like to talk. She did and we had a great conversation. She was new but definitely interested and curious.

So cut to last night. We met them at the same restaurant where I took the photo of the belly dancer a few weeks ago. Last night, the dancing was provided by this couple:

Julie is lovely -- mid-30s, blonde, happy, and bubbly. He is tall, shaved head, and very charming. To sum up the meal, we talk, laugh, and generally have a great time. At some point I excuse myself to go to the ladies room and when I return, Vince leans in to me and whispers "They just invited us back to thier place. Want to go?"

Now we have a "rule" that we don't play on the first date, hence the title of the post. But I knew from the moment we sat down that this lovely lady was Vincent's type. He's having a ball, so I say "sure!" and then try to slide back out of the booth to leave. He kind of nudges me back in, "No, no. Have a seat for a second." "But aren't we leaving?" I try to slide back out. "In a minute or two." Nudge back in. Steve is finishing up the check, she is starting to stand, and I'm totallly confused because Vince has just asked me if I want to go and is gently pushing me back into the booth. Weird.

I few minutes later as we're pulling out of the parking lot, Vince turns to me and says "Ivey honey-sugar-baby, I had a woody. I was trying to get you to sit the fuck back down because I think I just scandalized every table we had to walk past getting out of the restaurant." "Ohhhhhhhhh!" Ha!.

So we get to their place and after a little chit chat, Vince asks Julie and Steve what they'd like to do. This was Julie's first time -- first time swinging, first time with a woman (if she wanted), first time with multi-partner sex. And Vince and I found ourselves in the VERY unlikely position of being the "experienced" couple in the room -- HAHA! -- almost 24 hours to the minute after our first full swap.

As it turns out, Julie wanted to go for the full enchilada and we did our darndest to be worthy of being her "first." She was lovely, communicative, enthusiastic, beautiful (did I mention she's mid-30s and drop dead gorgeous blonde?) and an all around girl-with-game. Steve was a delightful surprise. Come to find out this low-key "gentleman" is into Tantric sex (has taken classes), has a talented tongue and fingers, and an absolutely delightful ability and willingness to listen. ;) The guy takes his role in fucking fuckin' seriously!

But we are spent! This morning, Vince and I had the opportunity for some wonderful reconnecting sex, the kind that higlights the difference, in a positive way, between play time and love making. Vincent has been playing my body for almost 16 years and can cut to the chase so-to-speak. Watching Steve work his magic was fabulously fun, and we look forward to doing it again with them and others, but not the same, not the same at all, as staring into my beloved's eyes as he drives me absolutely insane with pleasure. And laughing with the our new friends is terrific, and a worthy way to spend some time, but not remotely on the same plane as basking in the joy, contenment, and love I share with my life partner; my beloved, my Vince.

About last night....

2011-03-13T10:12:00.000-04:00

Let me just cut to the chase. Last night, Vince and I took the "full swap" step. You read that right, dear readers. For the first time in more than 16 years, my beloved husband had full on PIV sex, to completion (hehe), with a woman who isn't his wife. And his wife watched. And his wife enjoyed it! Once again, I say...

Wheeee!!!!!!!

Let me back up a tad. Some of you, if you've been reading this blog from the beginning, may remember Rick and Leah. (I wrote about them in my first two posts, if you want to go catch up.) They are the first swinger couple Vince and I ever met, almost two years ago. At the time let's just say we weren't ready. No, really. I mean NOT ready.

But time moved on, we stayed in touch via Facebook, and in October of 2010, after we'd worked through most of our drama, had a couple of "first" experiences, got some of our crazy out of the way, we met them again for the first date we should have had two years ago. The one that would have been wonderful in 2009 if we/I hadn't done everything wrong on the front end.

And it was a great date. Vince was finally able to see Leah, beyond looking at Rick and thinking "You want to do WHAT with my wife?" I was able to enjoy and facilitate the group dynamic, not just my own wants. We left that night knowing that it would be 2011 before we got a chance to see them again.

In the intervening time, we had a couple of swinger-type folks to our house for dinner, one of whom was the delightful Hubman along with another couple of newbie friends, and we discovered how delightful and relaxed it can be having people in your home, where you can talk freely and laugh loudly. We also hosted, during that time, our out-of-town friends with benefits, and found that sexy playtime in your own bed after enjoying a fun day together can be icing on top of an awesome cake of yumminess.

So yesterday, almost two years after we first met them, Rick and Leah came to our house, we took a nice leisurely ride on the local bike trail, came back home for a delicious dinner, then went upstairs for some not-so-serious fucking and sucking. ;)

Laughter, giggles, groans, moans, gasps, smacks, licks, tickles, suckles. In the Lane swinger household, we operate under the banner that whatever Vince wants, whatever he's comfortable with, is what he gets. And after Leah and I had spend a little time enjoying each other, and after we'd invited the gents to join us on the bed, and after he'd also been able to discover her awesome kissing technique while I was discovering a new cock, Vince double checks with Leah and Rick to make sure it's okay, and with their happy approval, gloves' up and, shall we say, enjoys Leah completely.

And there wasn't and isn't an ounce of awkwardness nor jealousy nor regret; in fact, it's the opposite -- ease, closeness, and enjoyment. It was a great evening.

About an hour or so later, as the four of us we're laying around breathing and chuckling, Vince and I realize that we've just stepped over another hurdle and through a new door. Successfully and in our own way. We're actually meeting another couple this evening for a first date, you know, just to get to know them and see if all like each other. But in the case of Rick and Leah, we already know all of that. We'll see them again, maybe to play around in the swinger sense or maybe to just play around in the friendly sense. And it was well worth the wait.

Oh, and kissing Rick was just as hot and sexy as it was the first time in 2009. And kissing Leah? Well, I'll just let Vince tell you about that... if he wants to. But just between us, he isn't a kiss 'n tell kind of guy.

69&70-365 and late HNT

2011-03-11T08:14:00.000-05:00

A quick Proj365 update and a bonus HNT!

First, the weather here is still fantastic! Or at least it was on Tuesday. On this tree the new bright green leaves are pushing the spent flowers out of the way, continuing the spring transition.

We had to take a short trek to work with a client this week. Our hotel wasn't up to our usual standards (ha!) but this is pretty much what it looked like afte our morning wake-up sex session. As a rule, when I'm about to go spend a day in intense mental wrangling, I really need a good session to take the edge off. NO ONE wants me to deal with client's if I'm in a nookie-deficit zone. (shudder!)

So here I am, the freshly laid lass. Haven't even brushed my hair yet.

Happy belated HNT, everyone!

67-365 Geek store or Freak store?

2011-03-08T08:17:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Vince and I had to run an errend to one of our favorite places. This little out of the way store you see below is a tinkerer's paradise. You name it? You need it? They've got it. Need a single male cable connector? No problem. A 1/2 watt resistor? Bin # 365. A two horsepower rotor motor? Top shelf, ask for assistance. Camo canvas? How many yards to you need? A plastic pizza cutter? Aisle three. No kidding.

They also have every size and shape screw, clamp, carabiner, cable, switch, whatever you can imagine and if all you need is one, that's all you have to buy.

The place was, as expected, full of regular looking guys (and the sexy Vince!) and more surprisingly, lots of very attractive ladies. (inclulding your truly. hehe.) Now I'm not saying that everyone in the store was secretly building a suspension rig for their bedrooms or designing a seruptitious survelience system for the neighbors comings and goings but if that's what you want to do, then this is where you need to go.

We selected our items then made our way over to another of our favorite stores -- our local adult store. If the previous place was for the do-it-yourself-er, then this one is a ready-to-wear dream! Just choose your tool and head over to the checkout counter!

However, when it comes to durabilty and price-to-value ratio, I think if you want a job done right then you've got to do it yourself.

Except for these little beauties. This store separates its standard run-of-the-mill dildos, plugs, etc. from what it calls the Rolls Royce selection. Oooohhhhhh don't they look lovely?! And they have a huge wall of these babies! Squeeeee!

We made it back home and after a tasty dinner had fantastic, sexy, fuck me kind of evening! We started out with a little porn; very little since I'm still trying to find something that doesn't make me giggle for the wrong reasons. Understandably, I prefer groups and couples. If it's just two-on-two, I'm like, yeah, I got it, crappy camera angle, damn there's no way she can hold that position, dude that makes your dick look ridiculous and you're going to throw your back out eventually.

But the amateur or swinger stuff generally involves the things I really dig. First and foremost, you can generally hear and see some genuine laughter and smiling. I like my fucking to be fun, damnit. Mewly, whiny, grunty, "oh-yeah-fuck-that-pussy-baby" "oh-god-suck-that-cock" crap annoys me. Second, I'm all about combinations -- MFMF, FMF, FFM, MMF, MFM, you name it, I love it!

So we enjoyed our day AND our evening. Not bad for a Monday!

65-365 Shadow

2011-03-07T07:58:00.000-05:00

Hey, they can't all be great.

Sometimes you just snap a pic of what's there and STFU.

65-365 Late Night Dalliance

2011-03-06T09:28:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know. I've got to stop with the teaser titles. I will. I promise.

I mentioned in yesterday's post that I spent the day with a book. Here's the book and here's where I spent it.

First, the setting: Salvaged hand-me-down bed frame, repainted and re-purposed by yours truly. Piles of pillows. Quilt -- hand pieced and hand stitched by my great grandmother. Cozy. Side table -- designed by Ivey Lane and built by my father. Glass of water and emery board near at hand. Note the stacks of books; yes, I'm currently reading (or re-reading) all of them. Box of tissues? It's Spring.

The book: Straight from my local library. There's no way I could afford my reading habit if I had to pay for all these books, not even in paperback. Not even on Kindle or Amazon. One of the many great things about our library system is not only do they have a branch within biking distance, conveniently located on the bike trail I ride, but I can also go on-line and request any book I want and they MAIL it to me, at no charge. They even include the return postage or I can just drop it off it at the local branch.

Vince had a gig last night so I curled up with one of my favorite "other men." In this case, Jack Reacher: 6'5", former Army MP, all around nomadic bad-ass. Or you could think of it as his alter ego -- Lee Child.I'm totally a slut for these guys like Reacher and Child. Characters like Elvis Cole, Joe Pike, Lucas Davenport, Virgil Flowers, Andy Dalziel, Patrick Kenzie, Harry Bosch, Alex Delaware and on and on. The authors Robert Crais, Jonathan Kellerman, Michael Connolly, David Baldacci, Dennis Lehane, John Sanford and on and on and on. I love to read and I especially love complicated, flawed, fallen heroes.

I have a theory that lots of people, myself included, read in order to get the emotional thrills and intimate -- though imaginary -- connections they don't have in their real lives. I don't often read history or educational material for entertainment because that's a big part of what I do for a living. I'm not lacking in that part of my life. But in the visceral arena of excitement and lust and desire and adventure and all that goes with it, well, I'm pretty much your average middle aged woman.

It's a nice substitute; and don't get me wrong, I have no desire to actually be shot at or, as in the case of Mr. Reacher's last adventure, possibly incinerated, but it sure as heck literally gets my heart racing. But books are, in fact, and escape from the mundane, just like movies and video games. And even reading anonymous blogs about other people's lives. It's an opportunity to simulate a more exciting life, filled with interesting people and events, and yes, a little potential danger, both physical and emotional.

And that's the point isn't it? I don't want a life that I feel a desire to "escape" from. That needs "escapist" literature to get the blood racing. Like all things in moderation, my goal is to create a relatively seamless whole, that INCLUDES emotional and physical adventure -- people, places, events, activities. Not limited to sex or merely doing something for the sake of doing (like going to Mt. Rushmore to simply snap a photo and get back in your car then saying "you've been there"), but exploring, learning, experiencing, enriching.

But I did hop on-line the moment I finished "61 Hours" to request the next book by Lee Child about Jack Reacher's adventures. I think it'll arrive long before I figure out how to not be mundane.... and average.

64-365 A Pussy Cat

2011-03-05T20:53:00.000-05:00

Last evening I went to a friend's house for the evening. It's a regular occurrence. She and I get together, hang out, talk about life, the universe and everything, usually over a bottle of wine or so. This is one of her marvelous cats, a rescued critter that showed up on her doorstep one day and simply moved in.

Same creature in color.

When we have these get togethers we always just plan to spend the night; no reason to risk either an accident or a DUI.

And I took my cue for today from the kitty. I pretty much laid around most of the day, reading a novel, hanging out with Vince, and generally being like this furry little guy.

What a lovely way to spend the day.

62&63-365 Catching up (sewing, public sex, and a quirky day off)

2011-03-04T08:29:00.000-05:00

Catching up on my Proj365 photos this morning! On Tuesday, I put the fabric I purchased on Monday to good use. I made a new seat for a beach chair and the slings for our beach umbrella's to attach to our motorcycle, along with our attachable luggage bag, to see if we can take longer trips around Florida. We tested it out the next day.

That was going to be my only Tuesday shot until public sex caught us by surprise. Okay, so it wasn't me and Vince. (The title had you hoping, didn't it? Yeah, me too.) We were sitting outside having afternoon coffee when I heard a ruckus in the bushes, then saw a black flash race under our deck. I knew it was one of our snakes. (BTW -- Neither of us are the types to freak out over snakes and we actually like having these guys around. They're SUPPOSED to keep the rodent population under control, though it appears they've been falling down on the job lately.) A few minutes later we realized it was TWO snakes having a throw down in the yard when they came writhing and wrapped together out from under the deck.

Look at 'em. Shameless.

They hung out for about 5 minutes like that, en flagrante delecto, before racing off to find a more private spot for round two, or three or four; I really couldn't say but they seemed to have serious staying power.

On Thursday, we decided to take the day off. We worked a few hours in the morning then lit out for the West Coast. On the way, there is a fantastic little restaurant we like. This place is odd-ball but the food is fantastic. It's hard to tell in this photo but the seating is actually in the middle of a wacky shop that sells everything from shoes to the lighted stars you see hanging from the ceiling.

The waitresses (there are no men) all dress in old-fashioned nurses uniforms and I think they range in age from 50 - 80. The photo below is the menu; they carry chalk boards from table to table and set them next to you. And don't dawdle, if they need it for a new table you're out of luck.

As I said, the food is great! And there was also a bridge club playing at several of the tables around us. I guess the old ladies can dawdle as long as they like.

But we weren't at our destination so we took off again and kept heading west. One of the things you should know about Florida is that the West Coast isn't all beaches, in fact sometimes it can be pretty darn hard to find one. We'd picked a place off Google maps before we left -- Rees Park in Port Richey. We'd never heard of it and let me tell you something, NO ONE could find this place by accident.

But what a cool little surprise it was.

We hung out for a few hours -- laying around, napping, reading -- generally enjoying life. Before we left, I got this shot of the sun starting to set.

It was a lovely day -- a two hour motorcycle ride back home and we stopped for supper as well, mostly because my tush needed a break. Ours is a great bike for short rides but we confirmed that for anything longer than one-hour hops we need to consider upgrading to a touring bike, like a Honda Goldwing or a Yamaha Venture. Maybe another day.

HNT -- All Me -- 38B

2011-03-03T08:02:00.000-05:00

I don't what it is with the bra manufacturers and retail outlets but apparently they think any woman larger than a 34 and smaller than a size a D cup wants to encase their boobs in foam-rubber. I do not; therefore I have to search high and low for a bra that is simply all me and a little fabric -- no padding, no pushing, no lifting, no separating.

Just me.

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday, one and all! Don't forget to swing by Osbasso's for the rest of the loveliness.

Mwah!

61-365 The Fabric of Our Lives (and "Swing" Episode 3 - review)

2011-03-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Of course you recognize the post's title from the old cotton commercial jingle, (sing it with me now!) "The look, the feel, the fabric of our lives!"

Of course, I don't think there's a thread of cotton in this shot.

You may not know it but I'm actually quite girly-girl when it comes to crafts and sewing. For a while, in my late teens and twenties, I used to make most of my clothes. I then evolved into a crafter and for a short time had a little side business selling my handmade wares. And I just luv fabric and craft stores! Oh the possibilities, the beauty, the creativity!! I'm surprised to say it, but it's one of my favorite places to go.

My latest project is a beach chair that will disassemble into a bag small enough to carry on our motorcycle and a matching side pouch (similar to the rifle carriers you'd see in Western movies) that we can carry a beach umbrella in. I think it's going to be pretty cool.

On to Swing, Episode 3!

I mentioned in a previous review of the show that a couple that Vince and I met were going to be on the show. If you're interested, you can see watch the episode on PlayboyTV's website for free here.

First , Kimberly and Michael definitely raised the bar a bit. She is significantly more articulate and apparently intelligent than the previous Mrs. Newbie and he is far more charming and genuine. And that is exactly what we thought of them when we met them for drinks and appetizers last year.

Throughout the program you could see Kimberly's evaluation and assessment of the evening on her face. She didin't appear "scared" -- in fact she exuded confidence -- but you could also tell that she was gathering information and deciding how she felt about it throughout the evening. Michael certainly had an air of excitement and anticipation, but not the slathering dog quality that the previous Mr. Newbie did.

The rest of the house participants seemed a bit different than the first episode; some I recognized but others were new. It may be just my perception, but it appears that the women mostly got "thinner" and "blonder." They also, for the most part, shared a trait that both Vince and I find fairly unattractive -- the zany-over-the-top-stripper trait. From the coarseness of their language to the vapidness of their communication, other than tits and pussy, I couldn't tell exactly what greater understanding of the Lifestyle they are supposed to bring to the table. The thing is, that within that group I'm certain there IS an intelligent, articulate and STILL sexy, beautiful woman or two in the house (in fact I know there is; one of the other couples are the owners of a swinger-website that we subscribe to) but the direction and the editing of the program seems to indicate that feminine intellect and sexiness are still mutually exclusive. But of course, it IS the Playboy Channel.

Which also means all of my previous criticism still hold. The sex started off with the obligatory multi-woman sex pile, Michael was added and from there provided the uber male-fantasy experience: one cock, multiple pussies and a plethora o'boobies. As time went on, a self-professed "squirter champion," in that he says he can get any woman to squirt and quickly, joined the group. (NOTE TO VINCE -- If you EVER see anyone attacking my delicate lady-parts with that much gusto, assume the asshole has knocked me unconscious and beat the livin' daylights out of him.) But it eventually evolved into the full on Roman orgy we're coming to expect on Swing. And yes, I enjoyed it. It does make it look like lots of fun and I would certainly love to experience it some day.

I'll let you watch the episode to get Kimberly and Michael's take on the evening. Their words and expressions are beautiful, humorous, and genuine. I will say this, my favorite shot, favorite scene of the entire episode takes place near the end. After the previous evening's adventure, after they've spoken with the relationship counselor and shared their take on the night, our Newbie heroes take a shower. And there's a moment in there that just says it all.

60-365 "The End of Slavery"

2011-03-01T08:43:00.000-05:00

"The End of Slavery" is the title of this object, a sculpture found in the courtyard of the local recreation center. I wish I could say I found it anything other than hideous.

The physical construction is a collection of iron pipes, welded together, then treated (I think) with some type of acid to hasten the rust and decomposition. This type of abstract sculpture is, to get into the hoity-toity phrasing of the "ahhhhrtest communiteh", is generally seen as a "conversation" between the artist, who creates form from thought, and the viewer, who turns that form back into their own thought. Seems kinda one-way to me but hey, I'm not part of the "ahhhhrtest communiteh."

But it does reinforce how much our concepts of right and wrong, honorable and dishonorable, good and evil can change. The grander themes are ownership, control, and exploitation of another human being. But beneath those overarching ideas are who can marry who, who can participate in government and business and at what levels, intellectual capacity vs. intellectual acceptance. Unlimited potential vs. enforced degradation.

I have wayyyy too many thoughts on this subject to write them all down here. I do, after all, have work to do today. But that ugly-ass sculpture does make me think of possibilities and how things can truly change for the better. I think that one day people may come to see our current concepts of "traditional" marriage the same way we look back at the "traditional" life of a plantation. I think that like the iron in that sculpture, what seems so unyielding is really in a continuous state of change. And it's for the better.

58&59-365 A nice weekend

2011-02-27T15:52:00.000-05:00

We had some old friends in town this wekend so there isn't much to talk abour or to post, except that it's great to spend time with people who've known you for almost a quarter of a century.

This is a shot of a trail on our local nature preserve.

This little feline was sleeping in a store front window. The store sells "antiques and collectables" but is mainly a collection of old bric brac. The kitty (and I actually think there's more than one) live at the store. This cutie-pie was napping in the shell of an old television.

Since I'm posting today's Proj365 today, rather than tomorrow like I usually do, I'm a day ahead. Yippeee! I think I'm going to take tomorrow off!

57-365 The waxy lady (and 54-365 Oops, I missed one!)

2011-02-26T08:18:00.001-05:00

Things had been getting out of hand down below recently. (WARNING: Gentlemen, this may be TMI. Continue reading at your own risk.) I hadn't been to the waxy place in months, dealing with the issue with razors and slathers of Bikini Zone cream. (Shudder.)

I used to have a good aesthetician. Her rate was a scandal -- $58 + tip for a deep bikini wax! -- (Gents, for those of you still reading that's taking off everything front to back but leaving something like a stripe or a soul patch around the goodies), her place was in another town, but the results were good and the pain was bearable. Then she left the salon and I decided to give the "new girl" a try. Holy-fuckin'-mother-of-gawd was that a mistake. I have never, ever, never in my life had someone stop what they were doing in the middle of a procedure, ANY procedure -- and I've had root planing and scaling at the freakin' dentists office! -- because I couldn't take the pain. But young chicky-poo at the salon almost killed me. Ladies, have you ever had someone inexperienced and TIMID attempt to rip your short hairs out? Well my sisters, let me point you down a better path; run, don't walk out of the door. I now insists my waxy lady to be AT LEAST 45 years old with AT LEAST 20 years experience. That's all I'm sayin'.

So I'm in search of a new salon. Spring is upon us and I enjoy frequenting my local nude resort. I cannot go looking like I'm either diseased (razor bumps and burn) or un-evolved. Some of you may have noticed I'm a brunette with thin, pale, and translucent Scottish skin. Shaving just don't cut it. And I don't want to spend the money on laser. And I can't even fathom attempting to "self-wax." WTF.

Just when I was about to despair, guess what? A new place opened five blocks from my house. I called. I questioned. I screened. And I decided to give the place a try.

What a delightful surprise! First, the place was awesome! Small but "spa-like" with all of the wonderful scents, and colors, and organic whats-its all over the place. The aesthetician was terrific! She used a hard wax technique and it was the least pain I've ever experienced. She also told me their story: she and her partner both lost their jobs at local resort salons. After more than a year of trying to find new ones, they eventually decided to open their own place. And the tourists' loss is my gain!

Oh, and the rate? $30 + tip for a deep bikini including the back! I know, right?! Now I just have to help these ladies build their business so they STAY in business! Referrals will abound.

On another quick note, I realized that I'd gotten my Proj365 numbers screwed up and missed Tuesday. This is 54-365. As you can see, the shot wasn't exactly memorable but never-the-less, here it is.

Fresh veggies! These babies were on their way to the oven to be roasted, then served with Italian turkey sausage and pasta in a lemony picatta-type sauce. One of the great things about not knowing how to really cook Italian food is that I make things up all the time.

It was delicious!

PS -- And the squirrels chewed their way back into the carport attic. We're now assuming there are babies in there but we can't quite tell. So the score is Squirrels -- 2, Vince -- 0.

56-365 Squirrels - 1, Vince - 0

2011-02-25T08:03:00.001-05:00

So it appears we have squirrels in the attic of our carport.

Damn.

This won't do. Vince discovered it last week and sure enough, the little buggers found a tiny hole in the eaves and have set up house-keeping. And we're not squirrel killers. Hell, I'm not even a squirrel terrorist. So trying to figure out how to get the fluffy-tailed rats out of the attic is becoming quite the challenge.

As of yesterday, Vince was tossing out ideas and I was shooting them down one after the other. Some of them (the ones that involved smoke or firecrackers) I just thought we'd have a hard time explaining to the insurance adjuster. Others ("Hey Ivey, what if we put a cat up there! The cat could run the squirrels out and then we could just get the cat!") I thought the ASPCA would frown upon. And what if the cat actually caught one? Oh, the carnage. Besides, I don't know anyone who'd let us borrow their precious pet to pop into our attic for a few hours. Desperation seemed to be setting in.

Then we remembered we had these.

My mother-in-law gave them to us last fall when the squirrels were eating our Drake Elm. We tossed a couple of these babies into the attic and this morning, Vince reports no sounds or other activity. Could it be success? We don't know yet, but I think it's better than bringing out the heavy artillary.

We'll keep you posted......

HNT -- Swing (and 55-365)

2011-02-24T08:22:00.002-05:00

Happy HNT all! Don't forget to check out the rest of the nekkid-ness at Osbasso's!

Last night instead of taking pictures, we decided to checkout the new show on the Playboy Channel -- "Swing." We don't subscribe to the channel, but the first episode is available on-line.

Overall, the show wasn't bad and the things that were, were predictable.

A) It's the Playboy Channel. OF COURSE the show is going to be pretty male centric. The break-the-ice game was the wives picking up cherries from a bowl on the ground with their mouths then running to their husbands who were sitting in chairs and dropping them in another bowl in the guy's lap. There was no conversation at all about any hesitation on his part other than asking if he thinks he might get jealous to see some other guy bang his wife.

B) It's the Playboy Channel. OF COURSE the two gals at the center of attention are going to hawt, THIN, and all in to the girl-girl action. On the upside, the rest of the cast did have a least a little physical variety, though not much in terms of race or age.

C) It's the Playboy Channel. OF COURSE the lead gal (in this episode at least) doesn't need to be articulate ("I mean, that was like, oh wow! I'm like soooooo ready for this, um, ya know, like experience!) The guy didn't either, but he did need to be ready to get it on. And he was.

But the fucking looked fun and better than the standard porn fare -- no wacky mewling sounds or odd facials. The conversations had potential to be interesting and enlightening but in the chosen format they really didn't get into anything of any depth. Mostly the experienced couples saying "Yeah, this is great; she/I was nervous at first but couldn't wait to get it on again after we tried it." The new couple saying "Yeah, I'm nervous but this is exciting; I/we can't wait to take our relationship to the next level."

On a side note, one of the up-coming couples is someone Vince and I had a date with. And yes, they are both hawt. Of course, after our date where we all appeared to have a great time, we sent a "thanks for a great evening note" and didn't hear back from them, at all, for months, leaving us baffled. They eventually sent us a note saying that they'd been busy shooting their Swing episode, they'd had a good time with us and would be happy to hang out again, but just so you know they "didn't feel any sexual chemistry." The last part, no problem. The four month delay? Yeah, gets under my skin.

Anyway, the teaser for their episode is up on the Playboy Channel website titled Kimberly and Michael. Check it out. Oh, and let me know if anything strikes you as odd.

And since I don't want to get behind here's Wednesday's project 365 photo. It's a little restaurant with the best damn high-end barbeque around. Didn't know there was such a thing, did you? Anyhow, the food was great, the atmosphere was suitably hip and trendy. And it was a delightful way to spend time with my honey!

Catch y'all later!

53-365 I needed a little springtime

2011-02-22T17:30:00.001-05:00

I know some folks may be a little irked with my current flower obsession but people, I freakin' needed some springtime! Sure, sure... lots of you have it lots worse and all I can say is we've got plenty of houses for sale in good ol' sunny Florida but giddiness in Spring is usually wilted by the time 98 degree Summer rolls around.

Anywhoo, the following shots are straight from the iPhone, no tweaking at all. First, Azaleas in my yard.

Second, from along the bike trail a wild flowering tree with very delicate white flowers. There was no specific scent, but at this time of year my area takes on a Spring-like smell, before the heady orange blossoms show up next month or so, there's a light smell of general "flowers" in the air.

This is a Crepe Myrtle. In February it should always be cut back in order for it to come out with some wild and showy flowers. I'll take another shot of this tree when it's in full bloom in a few weeks.

But I have needed some Springtime people. First, I can't stand to be cold and for a delicate Southern Flower like m'self, anything below 60 is cold. Second, I NEED to be outside, in the fresh air, in the open. I hate being cooped up, always have, always will. Third, the sounds of the birds are amazing right now. At this moment I have the windows wide open and the trees outside my office are full of birds making every kind of noise. The squirrels are frisky too. It rejuvenation!

I'll take a photo of the Peltafloram tree outside of my office at some point. It's deciduous and right now the old seed pods are still clinging to the tips. The new growth is poised to push them to the ground over the next few weeks and the view outside my window will radically change. Yippeeee!

And I know, some of you will have the most awesome photos of Spring in Carolina's, New England, the Mid-West, North West and California pretty soon. And I'm excited for you and sorry you have to wait so long. But personally, Spring is showing up right on time around here. And I'm as happy as I can be!

52-365 A sucker for flowers and Virginia Woolf

2011-02-21T07:47:00.000-05:00

I am a well known sucker for flowers so you can imagine how nutsy I get in the Spring. I spotted these beauties on my bike ride yesterday morning. I think the first one is a Japanese Cherry tree but only because I know it's not a Pink Dogwood. If anyone has a clue, I'd be happy for the identification.

One of the things I love about flowering trees is just their MASS. There is absolutely nothing subtle about a Dogwood, Cherry, Tabubia or any of the others in full bloom. Of course, they only put this show on once a year and the rest of the time we just have to wait.

This lovely lady is a Red Camellia. I have white ones in my yard but as you can see, whoever planted these wanted it to be seen. It's a bold flower!

And the gardener had massive waves of Azaleas as well. These seem to be leaving their peak but still. Lovely. And again, they only look like this once a year.

The afternoon was spent taking my in-laws to see a fantastic play -- Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee. First, the production was superb! The performances were dead on, the set and lights we're outstanding by way of being not noticed at all.

For those of you who don't know, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf is a comedy that is absolutely brutal and devastating. It involves a couple who've created a life of deep resentment, mutual- and self-loathing, and crushing disappointment who are engaged in a no prisoners/no mercy type of never-ending psychological warfare. One very late night, a young couple comes over for drinks and all hell breaks loose.

When it first came on the scene it was a shocking piece of theatre for it's approach to marriage, language, sexuality, and even children. And today while there might not be as much shock value at the language and what's appropriate to say on the stage, this show can still shock the hell out of an audience for it's raw power.

If you have an opportunity to see a good version of this play on the stage, I highly recommend it. Like an awesome live concert, there's nothing like the energy between the performer and the audience. Conversely, avoid a bad production at all costs. And if you're aren't into the theatre but want to see a very good version, rent the 1950s film by the same title. It stars Elizabeth Taylor, Richard, Burton, George Peppard, and Sandy Dennis.

Today, it's back to work!

51-365 Lazy Saturday and Sunday Stealing

2011-02-20T09:37:00.000-05:00

So after a week of big talk about "getting up on Saturday and working in the yard, damnit" we ended up blowing it off and taking the motorcycle out instead. It's finally back to great biking weather and well, we're weak. We couldn't resist.

This is Lake Whatever somewhere in Central Florida. When we ride, Vince pretty much makes all the decisions and I just on the back and take in the scenery. Good lord-y, I LUV it!

And this is my picturing taking method. Yep, whip the iPhone out of the pocket, grip it tightly, and hope to hell we don't hit a bump.

After we got back to the house we continued our irresponsible behavior. Vince had a gig last night and want to take a quick nap while I put on afternoon coffee (it's a ritual.) He wasn't in his little man-cave more than 2 minutes before he comes out, grabs me by the hand and says "I'm not sleepy; I'm horny." Upstairs we dash for more intimate adventures! Wheeee!!! After a nice time fucking and sucking, THEN he takes a nap. Ha!!

On to Sunday Stealing. I went to the site to grab the questions and there was nothing new posted for today so I scrolled through and picked another list at random. Enjoy!

1. What curse word do you use the most? Hmmmmm... hard to say. "Fuck" is pretty high on the list but I think the more benign or actually more common. "Damn" is a favorite, especially when spoken with a thick southern drawl -- "da-umn!" "Damnit" is a pretty close second and usually comes out "Damnit boy!"

2. Do you own an iPod? I have an iPhone so yes. The irritating thing is though, last summer the thing had a meltdown and had to be completely reset, wiping out everything -- music, photos, contacts, everything. I was able to get it to re-sync the photos but never the music or contacts. At this point, I still don't have any music on my phone.

3. Do you still remember the first person you kissed? Absolutely! I remember where we were (Disneyworld), what was going on (We were on the "If You Had Wings" ride), and the drama that ensued (he was apparently "going with" another girl in my Sunday School class which I found out on the bus ride home when she was apparently very pissed off at me.) Sadly, I can't remember the young cad's name.

4. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Both. I'm at a point in my life where I really enjoy taking pictures but I also LOVE being in some of them as well (e.g. HNT, photos of Vince and I on trips) I think this is actually another way of asking "do you like what you like in a photo" and in my case the answer is often yes, just not every photo. Ha!

5. Has anyone ever called you lazy? Not to my face. But I think someone would be hard pressed to make that particular accusation. Self-employed people are rarely lazy, if they are they don't eat. There are certain things I don't like to do, like clean the house, but that's not because I'm lazy, I just don't enjoy spending my time that way. So I hire someone else to clean while I go do something I DO enjoy, like write Ivey Lane posts!

6. Has anyone told you a secret this week? Does reading anonymous blogs count? No? Okay, as a general rule, I don't let people tell me secrets, not because I can't or won't keep them (I can and I do), but it's a burden I don't want to carry. I hate having information I can't use or knowing something about some third party's personal life that's none of my business.

7. What is the first thing you notice about the someone that you are attracted to? Smile.

8. What are you looking forward to? Today? Next weekend? Next month? Next summer? What? Let's not be vague here. Today I'm looking forward to going to the theatre and having dinner out. Next weekend I'm looking forward to some old friends coming in town. Next month I'm looking forward to some traveling and starting a new project. Next summer Vince and I are going to France. Good grief, I look forward to stuff all the freakin' time.

9. Do you own any band t-shirts? Ahmmmm... now that I think about it, no I don't. But I do own one John Prine sweatshirt.

10. When is the last time you slept on the floor? I think it was the last time I had a horrible flu. I finally just slept on the floor in the bathroom. TMI, right?

11. What did you do last night? Watched a History Channel show on the Ten Commandments. Then started watching a History Channel show on The Plague. All that excitement put me to sleep on the couch.

12. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex? Overall, I'd have to say opposite sex though I'm consciously working on that.

13. Who was the last person to make you mad? I don't think people "make me mad." I get frustrated sometimes and the resulting behavior can appear angry but it's really just that I don't like being held back, told what to do, limited, or interfered with in any way. (Da-umn Ivey!) Right now I'm frustrated and therefore "angry" with our elected officials, specifically the State and Federal level for trying to do all of the above.

14. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? NO ONE! Please see the above. Dear god, the thought makes me hyperventilate; I think I need to stop typing and go calm down.

15. T or F: All’s fair in love and war? Big fat false. This particular phrase is used to excuse inexcusable behavior.

16. What’s something you’ve always wanted? Wow. I can't think of anything I've "always" wanted. Oh wait! I know!! A flat stomach though I was probably 7 or 8 before I realized my tummy wasn't flat and that it mattered somehow. Alas, I'm afraid it's not to be. Sigh.

17. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? Hahahahahaha! Yes. And no. Seriously, you'd have to know my mother to understand why that's so fuckin' funny.

18. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang? Why would I want a four year old Mustang? And I'm not a fan of the color yellow. Now a '66 Mustang, red with white canvas drop top and white leather seats? Sign me up.

19. Where is/are your best friend(s)? Downstairs in his man-cave.
20. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? I love swimming in lakes. Those folks who get all "but what about the alligators?!" need to STFU. My usual response is that more people in Florida will die from drowning so the question really should be "what about the water!?"

That's it folks! I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend and your week!

50-365 Somewhere in America

2011-02-19T08:57:00.000-05:00

Thanks for hanging in with me on Project365. I realize that I need to expand my subject matter but for today's shot you get yet another view of the bike trail. Sigh.

As I mentioned a few posts ago, I'm adding a series I'm going to call "Somewhere in America." We travel quite a bit and looking through my archives, I do have a few pretty cool shots in some pretty interesting places. All of the photos I'll use were taken by me and over the past few years. I'll let you know what it's a photo of, and possibly why I thought it was interesting, though I'm not going to tell you the exact locations. If you guess, I'll fess up.

This is a shot of an abandoned homestead. All over the country there are dilapidated ruins of someones' former homes disintegrating into dust. I'm fascinated by this. Someone chose the location, procured the materials, then built the structure. They then lived, worked, loved, fucked, fought, laughed and cried here. And then they, or their descendants, left.

My first shot in the Somewhere in America series was in this post and a totally different situation. In the above photo, one assumes the owner/builder wanted to be there; in the previous picture from a few weeks ago, the person who had that home built and the person who lived in it were definitely NOT the same person. In this one, the fact that it was abandoned and falling into ruin makes me feel sad. In the other, knowing the story, I feel happy and satisfied.

Have a great weekend, folks! Vince and I spent last night with some old friends, will spend today working in the yard, and tomorrow is a trip to the theatre. We're taking the in-laws and the show stars a good friend of ours. And of course, there will be a little sexy thrown in. ;)

49-365 Primordial mist (and Sex at Dawn book review)

2011-02-18T10:08:00.008-05:00

The weather in Florida is in that Winter/Spring transition that can make for some rockin' cool photos. These two, taken as usual on our morning bike ride, reminded me of that "dawn of time" essence -- quite, still, peaceful. (BTW -- this shot was taken directly into the sun with my iPhone.)
This thick, pea-soup like fog burned off in about 30 minutes.

And as you can see from the first photo, dawn was wayyyy gone by the time we made it to the trail.

On to the book -- Sex at Dawn

First, some folks subscribe to the theory that whatever you create in your mind, manifests in reality. In other words, if you think about it (in a certain way), it shows up. They usually use this theory to promote the idea of wealth or love or jobs or material possessions but some folks believe it also can apply to the weather, or even time itself. If this is true, then the scenes above make perfect sense because I've been thinking about the dawn of time, and how we became who we are, quite intensely lately

But I don't actually subscribe to that theory. My belief is that when your mind becomes fixated, or aware, or interested in something (or some state of being), you start to see patterns or examples of that thing everywhere. The misty morning didn't come about because I "manifested" it, I noticed it, and applied that thought to it, because it's been on my mind

And that is why I think the cultural and scientific shift that the authors of Sex at Dawn are trying to promote is so very important. Many people look around at sex and relationships, especially their own, and the see evidence that supports their own point of view everywhere. Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha are attempting to point out that there is a different pattern from what you've been told, if only you look.

On the upside, they do an outstanding job of debunking specious research -- the type that's meant to "prove" that monogamy is universally "natural and appropriate", and therefore obligatory, for all human beings. On the downside, they end their book re-enforcing one of the most maddening stereotypes of male/female norms, that "men" are naturally non-monogamous, and "women" should just deal with it.

Bad science has been used for hundreds of years to promote the most preposterous (at least to our modern understanding) concepts. The "scientific proof" of racial inferiority or superiority for that matter, instantly springs to mind. Having read a lot of it, most of it is now almost laughable if it wasn't for the immense suffering it caused (e.g. slavery, the Holocaust). However, the fact that the research about sexual norms and mores is almost always paired with a political or religious agenda is rarely seen in "common" society as reason so discount it. Even when vast amounts of personal experience shows that something isn't true (e.g. monogamy is natural, therefore desirable, therefore easily attainable), as a society we insist on trying to prove what the most cursory glance around tells us is untrue. It would be like insisting that Spring is perpetual when every Winter proves otherwise.

But the downside bothered me and bothered me greatly. First, I take issue with any concept that appears to equate "men" with "all men" and "women" with "all women." I realize that for the sake of not torturing the English language, sometimes an absolute phrase is necessary where in fact, a little more nuance is accurate BUT, when it came to a man's "natural" predisposition, it too, was simply not true. Maybe a lot of men share an overwhelming urge for a large variety of sexual partners, hell, maybe even most men, but it is not true that ALL do. The implication is that if a man doesn't, or has an interest in fewer, or even one, then somehow he is "abnormal" or in some way even "deficient."

This is part of our problem in the swinging community. There is no way, not ever, that we can explain to any potential partners that it's more likely that Vince isn't attracted to the woman than I'm not attracted to either. "Reticence" on my part would be considered normal and therefore excused. "Reticence" on his part would be considered abnormal, insulting, or even "un-manly." It puts tremendous pressure on him, and dishonest restraint on me.

Chapter twenty-one, titled "The Pervert's Lament", focuses almost exclusively on the frustrations deleterious effects of suppressed male desire with very little, if any, mention of the negative effects of suppressed female sexual expression and desire. For a gal like me, this is fucking maddening. The woman is encouraged to understand the basis for the man's thoughts and behavior, to see them as natural, healthy, and not-necessarily threatening to the security of the marriage. AT NO TIME, though, is the opposite even mentioned -- the idea that the woman, wife, female craving sexual variety is not un-natural nor does it have to be threatening to a relationship, that eliminating it is futile, that limiting it is sad at best and cruel at worst. There is no exhortation to a husband to NOT see his wife's interest in other sexual experiences as simply that, a desire for sexual experience or expression that may be as rooted in biology and evolution as our desire to eat and breathe.

It is a serious omission in an otherwise outstanding book.

So Vince and I will continue to navigate our way with me as a "not-so-average" woman and him as the "doesn't fit the stereotype" guy. We both know we're damn lucky to have each other and we are doing our level best to help each other have the richest and most rewarding ride through this life as we can. Navigating our sex life may be a struggle, but our love and commitment to each other is as natural as can be.

HNT -- Sex at Dawn

2011-02-16T22:07:00.003-05:00

Okay, so it wasn't exactly dawn but it WAS morning!
This is one of Vince's favorite views and I have to say, it ain't half bad. There was a time, not too long ago, when I would have rather died than let a photo like this be taken of me. Indeed, I would have rather ripped an arm off rather than have sex in daylight. Good lordy, has my point of view changed.

Interestingly, I'm still heavier than I was in my prime, about 25 or so pounds to lose, but DAMN that is one sexy figure. Is it really mine? Is this why my beloved kept telling me how great I looked in reverse cowboy? Why it's one of his favorites? Is this really me?

You bet your sweet ass it is.

Happy HNT, one and all! Don't forget to check out the rest over at Osbasso's place!

47-365 Fifty years

2011-02-16T08:52:00.004-05:00

Yesterday my in-laws celebrated fifty years of marriage. And below is the their wrapped present.
I'm quite the wrapper. I love getting all "creative" but more importantly it reflects one of the best lessons my grandmother ever taught me -- (said with a very slow southern drawl) "For heaven's sake, child, show somebody you care."

She used the admonishment if were undertaking any task and not doing our best. It is why, she told us, you dress nicely, prepare food well and serve it on the good china, keep a nice home, and wrap lovely presents. All things, but especially food and gifts should be presented in their best light, taking time to be thoughtful and letting the other person know that they matter enough for you to give a damn.

She was horrified by "gift bags" that started becoming popular in the early 80s. She hated it when people dressed "slovenly" to go to church, supper, or even shopping. "Caring isn't convenient" she'd say. If we'd stop at Kentucky Fried Chicken after church, EVERYTHING got transferred to serving platters and bowls before we sat down and said grace and commenced to eating with our bare hands. (Finger lickin' good!)

Not doing your best for those around you wasn't considered just sad, it was considered insulting. Strangely, lots of folks to that in their marriages -- stop dressing well, eating well, giving small gifts presented thoughtfully -- those acts of caring that make simple things gracious.

Sadly, her life wasn't exactly filled with warmth and caring. In fact, it was a pretty cold, dark place. Her 50+ year marriage was the same. If there was ever any caring between her and my grandfather I never saw it. They slept in separate rooms, rarely spoke and if they did it was generally something cold and cutting. She had no friends and in fact almost never left her house. But you know what? There were still a TON of people if I say, "They were married 50 years" those folks will stupidly slap huge congratulatory smile on their face and respond "Wow. Isn't that great!"

No. Not really.

In a casual FB mention of the anniversary dinner someone made one of those stupid comments and I, ahem, pointed out the error in the thinking. My in-laws marriage aside, I truly believe that a "long" marriage doesn't necessarily equate to a good one and some folks should do themselves and the rest of us a favor and throw in the damn towel. Yes, there's something to be said for pushing through the challenges that growth brings; sure, not every day is sunshine and flowers. But their should be mutual growth and not mutual destruction and more days should have sunshine than not.

In the end, I just don't see a lot to celebrate in a marriage that does little more than provide a forum for mutual hostility and seething resentment. And when I do encounter those folks -- and I'm working hard to be in their number -- who've enjoyed, not endured, fifteen or fifty years of wedded wonder, I'll be thrilled and honored to celebrate that!

46-365 Such a nerd!

2011-02-15T09:55:00.005-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day to ME!! Yes, dear readers, Vince gave me the perfect gift!

I am, unapologetically, a nerd.

Incidentally, I occasionally have bouts of sleeplessness and last night was one of 'em. Instead of my usual routine of going downstairs and channel surfing until I found a "Cops" marathon, I continued reading my delightful new book. On the upside, you can get A LOT of reading done between the hours of 2:30am and 6:30am. On the downside, I feel like crap today and tonight is my in-laws' 50th wedding anniversary dinner.

I feel a nap coming in my not-too-distant future.

45-365 Dragons

2011-02-14T10:37:00.004-05:00

From previously posted images, you probably already know that I like to see images and faces in things. In fact, I'm one of those people who can be entertained for hours watching clouds change shape. It's not that I'm dreamy, it's that I see patterns. Sometimes they just seem to leap out and make me laugh. Other times, I'll look at something I've seen every day and suddenly the image just materializes. Maybe that's why I dig the collage artwork from Nude Nite so much and not such a fan of abstract imagry where there isn't supposed to be anything "there" there.

Anywhoo, this was actually something pointed out by Vince as we were hanging out in his studio last night. He also sees images and shapes and yes, we have been known to enjoy watching clouds every once in a while.

Dragons.
The photo above it the most obvious but the one below reminds of an old time, black and white film like "Nosferatu" or "Phantom of the Opera." Can't you just hear the spooky organ music playing in the background?

I'm took these pics and Vince was having an on-line chat with another apparently flaky swinger-site husband. The details aren't important but let's just say this one, with the "oh heck yeah my wife is TOTALLY hawt and into this" but somehow she can't answer an email or have a chat or doesn't have a freakin' phone is just workin' my last nerve. Whatever, dude. Look, YOU contacted US.

Sigh.

But enough of that! This wonderful Valentine's day morning, Vince brightened my mood with perfect gift! I'll show you what it is tomorrow. ;) I'll just say that he knows his little sex-nerd wife VERY well.

44-365 Kicking back... and guess who the f*#k shows up?

2011-02-13T16:18:00.005-05:00

Just in case you were thinking life on Ivey Lane is nuthin' but sexy art parties, belly dancers, and night clubs, I'll have you know I DO kick back every once in while. Okay, more often than I care to think about. And what does the uber-sexy and sultry Ivey Lane lounge about in? Lacy lingerie? Armani or Yves St. Laurent? Um, no.

Baggy sweat pants, mismatched socks, and bang-around old Sketcher shoes.Rather than join Vince at his gig last night I decided to just hang out at the house, read a book, and sip a little solo Chardonnay. And guess what? One of the couples we've written off showed up at the club. A&J from this post. Seriously. Vince looks down from the stage and there's "A", waving and smiling. After the set they say hello, she asks where I was, at some point she sent me a text.

Whatever.

Damn fuckin' shame, too. Vince really liked this gal and I thought her husband was charming. Why do we seem to be flake magnets? Or is it us? I find maybe one in ten guys attractive; Vince, one in a hundred women. Should we just embrace the fact that we're snobbish? The above photo not-with-standing, we're not bad to look at; we're funny, witty, have all our own teeth. I hate to think I really AM destined for the mundane life but holy-mother-of-gawd this seems to be a lot simpler for other people.

What-the-fuck-ever. I'm whining. Really. It's been a great couple of days. I've got my sexy back, Vince and I've been having a ball; work is good, friends are great. It's all good. Except.... fuck!

I was on my own again today and decided to take myself shopping. A little retail therapy does a body good! Even if it was just bras and underwear. Matching sets, of course! :)

43-365 Nude Nite 2011

2011-02-12T08:59:00.004-05:00

Holy schnikes, bat-kids! It's been a YEAR since our last Nude Nite outing?! My, my, my how time flies.

For those of you who've joined the Lane more recently, last year as Vince and I were starting our journey we discovered Nude Nite, an art show in Central Florida dedicated to the human nude. If you want to learn a little more about where we were a year ago, click here. It rolled around again and man, did it really show what a hell of a year we've had! It also made me realize I missed my one-year blogosversary; I'll write on that soon.

First, the bad news; Vince couldn't go with me this time. He has a gig in another town this weekend so I was on my own. But not entirely! I went out with one of my spicy-vanilla girlfriends and we had a ball. (FYI -- "Spicy-vanilla" means folks that I know who are artsy and pretty freakin' broadminded, but who have no idea about our private interests.)

The place was crazy-packed. We had to wait in line 20 minutes to get in and then, since I didn't have the presence of mind to use the restroom before we left the bar we'd been at, I stood in line another 20 minutes or so for the, ahem, facilities. The event is usually held in a warehouse and this year's was larger than last. I think there was at least a thousand people there. (And four toilets.)
The quality of the art varied. Some of it was fantastic though WAY out of my price range. Most of it was "pretty" but mediocre. The rest, I swear to god if there hadn't been tits on the canvas NO ONE would ever show it in a gallery. It was just, bad.

But here's a piece of really good. This is a collage created entirely of newspaper and magazine pages, ripped up then decoupaged onto the canvas. If you stand close, it's hard to figure out what you're looking at. When you stand back, the image is revealed. Price tag? $5,200.00. The thing is though, I think most of the works were overpriced, even the good stuff. In the entire show I only saw one item marked "sold" and it was a nice piece on a modest sized canvas, in the $500 range.

The other challenge is that either very few artists do works of the male nude (I swear 13Messages, you could make a killing here!) OR the curator of this show is all about females. The piece below was another wonderful series; the were four large canvases and it's a charcoal drawing. The form is almost life-sized.

This was just fun! The tagger created the art on the wall and the woman throughout the night. But I gotta tell ya, some of these folks acted as if they've never seen a naked chick in their lives. In addition to the paintings, photographs, and sculptures, (and I'm not referring to this artist who was working) there were nude performances throughout the space -- a pole dancer, burlesque dancer, some woman in a cage (WTF), nekkid people just walking around. The crowd would mass around these performers every time they showed up, snapping pics, and being generally in the freakin' way. Sorry I couldn't elbow my way to the front to get a better shot.

This is another piece by my favorite artist of the night. Again, it's made up entirely of newspapers and magazine pages but this thing is HUGE. It's hard to see, but it's actually a total of twelve 4'x4' panels, so it's eight feet wide and sixteen feet tall. But it's also gorgeous, gritty, and above all interesting!

Vince and I were texting back and forth throughout the night. He was at a club surrounded by stylish and sexy ladies, I was wandering around a sexy and provocative art show, and both of us wished the other was where we were. I had fun with my girlfriend and he had a great time with the band, but being together just makes everything that much funnier, sexier, more enjoyable. As I was wandering about I recognized a number of swinger-folks from the website, though none that we're interested in. There were a lot of people who were there for the scene -- and to be seen at a "nude art" show -- who you could tell were more about posing and pretentiousness than anything else. Vince shares my sense of humor and my sensibilities. He takes the edge off my aversion to crowds. He entertains me when I'm stuck in a line for the bathroom. We just .... suit each other.

It was an enjoyable night, but one thing would have made it better -- my beloved Vincent by my side.

41&42-365 Ego stroke

2011-02-11T08:01:00.003-05:00

It's been a great couple of days. The kind where a series of unrelated events combine to pump up your ego in rich and meaningful ways.

On Wednesday I had to meet with a client. On the drive I had the opportunity to catch up with a friend who knows not only about Ivey Lane but more the real-life me and Vince as well. It was a great conversation overall and one of the topics turned to ego. The good kind. The kind that motivates and encourages. It's true that I'm interested in sexual adventure (as well as LIFE adventure) for experiences and sensations it produces all by itself, for the freedom of expression, for the individual connections.

But a big part of my motivation has to do with the fact that I want that for other people, primarily Vincent. I take immense pride in being the kind of wife that adds to his happiness, not the kind that harps, and bitches, and limits, and scolds, and generally becomes the proverbial "ball and chain" that so many men (and women) live with every day of their fucking lives.

My ego is driven by helping to make peoples lives fully, richer, and more rewarding than they thought possible, in every way I can.

Which brings me to the photos. This first was taken near my client's office. They are happy. They are very happy. They are incredibly happy with me because after several years of false starts and crappy results, they finally brought Vince and I into the project and are finally getting what they want, what they had a hard time articulating, and what their previous vendors couldn't or didn't deliver.
FYI -- the photo above is a ruin of slave quarters on an old plantation. Vince and I get to travel around a bit and we take photos all over the country. I might start a series and call it "Somewhere in America" and add a few of these to Proj365. This photo reminds me that throughout history and even today, there are people who don't have choices or opportunities; who were and are forced to live lives by the whims and dictates of others. And in the end, it all turns back into dust. If you have opportunities in your life and choose not to take them, that's just sad. But if you disallow others, especially those you profess to love, from experiencing all that life has to offer, especially because of your own fear and limits, because you want to keep what's "yours," then you may be more of an asshole than you realize.

The next day, Thursday, was tax prep day. We met with our accountant to go over last year and plan for this one. She rescues cats. Lots of them. This lovely, FAT, HEAVY baby is laying on my arm, which he did for about 45 minutes. My fingers were as asleep as this guy by the end of the meeting!

But it was a good year and this one is shaping up to be even better. Part of the additional ego stroking is that we are reaping some of the rewards of the years of effort we've put into our work and business. In fact, my biggest concern right now isn't whether or not we're going to have jobs this year, but rather how in the hell are we going to get it all done without killing ourselves! As you can see, the tax cat isn't concerned.

After our meeting we just spent the day running errands, hanging out together as we drove all over town. We ended up a cool little restaurant that had nice entertainment in addition to great food. And yes, Ivey's getting her sexy back! Yes!!

We spent the evening flirting with each other, thinking about other people we may (or may not) be meeting. We chatted about the strangeness of it all as well as the adventure. We talked a little about some of our new friends and how much we enjoy them. We laughed as we thought about the "if they only knew!" quality of some of our older, more established friendships. We talked about possibilities and all of life's adventures that are on their way. Not just sex (though it's a significant part!), but work, travel, life. And I felt damn good. So good in fact that we came home, I put on one of my new sexy ensembles that I bought at Christmas just for Vince. We went up to our little love nest and fucked and laughed and giggled and moaned and kissed and just had ourselves a fine old time.

And this morning, we woke up and did it again. If that won't stroke your ego, nuthin' will.

39&40/365 Grey days

2011-02-09T07:55:00.002-05:00

It's been grey and raining here for over a week (yuck) and I think that's been contributing to my grey mood. I know, I know. "Ivey, quit whining about a little overcast skies while you're out riding your bike in shorts in January, you bee-atch. You don't know what grey IS!" And you're right. Compared to the type of winter most of you folks are having, I've decided that I need a big ol' dose of STFU.

So Monday I took this pic and reminded myself how pretty and peaceful it can be when that mist hangs in the air, the trail is empty because lots of people are concerned about rain, and the temperature is about 60 degrees.
But that's not the only grey that's bee lingering around. Ladies, it was time to get my luscious locks whipped back into shape, too. I usually do my own color at home -- primarily because I'm a Scot and have a deep, genetic aversion to spending money frivolously -- but lately my tresses have been less than luxurious and getting a little damaged so I decided to spend the cash and have a pro handle the situation. Here I am, half way through a hundred and thirty freakin' bucks.

BTW -- This is my "natural" color. I told the gal I didn't want to see any difference between my roots and the rest of my hair this time. And I'm thinking that for HNT, I'll show you how it turned out!

Also BTW -- the weather here has returned to sunny and seventies! Those of you in the frigid North should really consider jumping on a plane for a couple of days. I promise, it will lift your spirits!

A hundred questions

2011-02-07T20:46:00.003-05:00

I have the night to myself and was inspired by my girls Minority Report and Another Suburban Mom. I know it isn't Sunday, but I can't be tied to a calendar when I'm inspired. So for something that ISN'T Proj365, I present -- Ivey answers a hundred questions.

Enjoy!

1 -- One of your scars, how did you get it? -- I have many scars. I'm an active chick and not exactly coordinated BUT I have a scar on my left knee from from a wipe out on my bicycle. I was coming home from a ride and my neighbor pulled out of his driveway in front of me. It happened the morning that I met the two people who launched us on this wacky journey.

2 -- What is on the walls of your room? -- I have tons of stuff on my walls but I'm going to pick my bedroom. I have a series of our HNT photos and two beautiful nudes. Our bedroom is a love-nest and I like it that way.

3 -- Do you snore, grind your teeth, or talk in your sleep? -- Not usually, though Vince says I've been know to snore on occasion. Until I hear the tape, I refuse to believe it. I am a delicate Southern Flower; I DO NOT snore. ('nuf!)

4 -- What type of music do you listen to? -- On the radio, I'm a fan of club music (e.g. Lady Gaga), at home, it's Vince. He noodles on his guitars in the morning and I often wake up to the sound of live jazz.

5 -- What time were you born? -- 6:00am. And I think that was the last time I was productive at that hour.

6 -- What do you want more than anything right now? -- Hard to say. I don't want things, business is going well. Lately I've been in a bit of a sexual funk so I'd say I want my roaring libido back. But I think things are once again on the upswing there so that "want" is short lived.

7 -- What do you miss? -- My granddaddy. My daddy from before his stroke.

8 -- What is your most prized possession? -- My grandmother's diaries from the 1920s. She was an amazing woman that lost her way.

9 -- How tall are you? -- 5'7"

10 -- Do you get claustrophobic? -- No. Except I hate the press of large crowds. I don't know if that's claustrophobia or just annoyance.

11 -- Do you get scared in the dark? -- No.

12 -- The last person to make you cry? -- I cry at coffee commercials, never watch Animal Planet, and on and on. I'm a big ol' softy but I got misty in "The King's Speech." The last person who really made me cry was this.

13 -- What's your worst fear? -- I actually have three. In descending order: Dying poor, dying without ever having lived fully, living without Vince.

14 -- What kind of hair/eye color do you like on people you're attracted to? -- Brunette's with blue or green eyes. Uhm, that would be Vince.

15 -- Where can you see yourself proposing? -- Proposing what? A new business venture? A hairball scheme? Oh, you meant marriage. Well, as the girl, I never imagined that. Yeah, I'm kinda old fashioned like that. But I did leave Vince PLENTY of hints and he proposed at my home, on my birthday, after a day at our local art museums. I DEFINITELY cried that day! Tears of joy. :)

16 -- Coffee or energy drink? -- Coffee baby. Love the go-juice!

17 -- Favorite pizza topping? -- Peperoni, mushrooms, onions, garlic, and LOTS of cheese. Bring on the luvin's!

18 -- If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? -- A favorite food? My favorite food, I kid you not, is Fordhook Lima Beans. I could eat them until I explode.

19 -- Favorite color of all time? -- A deep, rich green.

20 -- Have you ever eaten a goldfish? -- Ew. No. Gross.

21 -- What is the first meaningful gift you ever received? -- A pony when I was 10. Her name was Beauty and she was all black with a white blaze on her forehead and white socks on her front hooves.

22 -- Do you have a crush? -- Have you been reading this blog? Hell yes! I have tons of crushes. All of them wonderful!

23 -- Are you double jointed? -- Not in the least.

24 -- Favorite clothing brand? -- I don't really have any "brand" type clothes, though I do tend to shop at Cold Water Creek quite a bit.

25 -- Who is your favorite female/male celebrity? -- Strange perhaps for a former actress, but I don't particularly care for celebrities.

26 -- Do you have a pet right now? -- Alas, no. We lost both of our beloved dogs to old age a couple of years ago. With no children, it was a crushing loss. Since we travel so much, we haven't gotten new ones. Though I do live vicariously through my friend's pets and my blogger friends' pics. (Go Owen!)

27 -- What kind is it? -- We had a collie (a full on Lassie, though he was all boy-boy) and a mutt (a Retriever/Ridgeback mix.)

28 -- Would you fall in love knowing that the person is leaving? -- Probably not. I'd fall in lust, or friendship, but no I wouldn't fall in love. Though is you caught the drift of my answer to #3, I'll always be in love with Vince.

29 -- (I copied this list and this question was missing)

30 -- Say a number from one to a hundred. -- 14

31 -- Blondes or Brunettes? -- For what? I dig brunettes but I hear blonds can be fun too.

32 -- Favorite quote? -- "Teach your child to live, rather than to avoid death; live is not breath, but action." -- Rousseau

33 -- Favorite place? -- The lake where I grew up. Incidentally, where I got married as well.

34 -- Have you been out of your home country? -- Oh hell yes. Mexico, Canada, England, France, Germany (East and West when there still was an "East"), Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Switzerland, Italy, Bahamas. Seriously want to go to South and Central America and most definitely Asia.

35 -- Weaknesses? -- Holy shit. Of course I have weaknesses. But I usually think that my greatest weaknesses are my greatest strengths gone too far. For example, I'm very direct; unchecked, I can be quite thoughtless or mean. I'm very adventurous; unchecked, I can be reckless.

36 -- (Again, it appears a question is missing.)

37 -- First job? -- When I was 15 I taught swimming, was a life guard, and was a piano player at our local theatre. I'm not sure which came first. And I've never been without a job when I wanted one for more than a day since. But when I was a smaller kid, starting around age 12 or so, I used to pick blackberries to sell. I made a wad of money though I have to say, paying for the bandaids from dealing with the thorns cut in to my profit margin.

38 -- Ever done a prank call? -- Nope.

39 -- Do you think everyone has a soul mate? -- In fact, I think we all have many.

40 -- What were you doing before you did Stealing? -- Dealing with a crazy family member.

41 -- Have you ever had surgery? -- 1976 - Appendix, 1996 - vocal nodes, 2006 - gall bladder.

42 -- What do you get complimented the most about? -- In general, my house, second, my dinner parties; from the ladies, Vince.

43 -- Have you ever had braces? -- Have you seen my smile on HNT? Hell yes. Sixth through ninth grade baby. Full rhinoceros plates. If you know that term, then you are OLD.

44 -- What do you want for your birthday? -- My birthday is in December. I haven't a clue at this point.

45 -- How many kids do you want and what do you want there names to be? -- Next.

46 -- Were you named after anyone? -- HAHAHAHAHA! If you know my real name, you'd know the answer to that! The short answer is "no."

47 -- What is the biggest turn off of the sex(es) you're attracted to? -- #1-Rudeness. Especially to people who can do you no harm like servers or ticket takers. Good Lord do I hate that particular type of asshole. #2- Negativity, as in someone who always looks for the downside to every fucking thing. Drives. Me. Nuts.

48 -- What is the one thing you like about high school? -- Band.

49 -- What kind of shampoo do you use? -- Pantene or Suave. Whatever is ultra-moisturizing.

50 -- Do you like your handwriting? -- I can't READ my handwriting. So know, I'd say I don't like it.

51 -- What is your favorite lunch meat? -- Roast beef.

52 -- Any bad habits? -- Oh, my. Several. But do we really need to bring that up?

53 -- Are you a jealous person? -- Not at all.

54 -- If you were another person, would you be friends with you? -- Poorly phrased question. I'd say, if I were another person, would I be friends with that person? Answer -- It depends on whether or not I was an ass.

55 -- Do you agree with friends with benefits? -- Absolutely. In fact, I think it's one of the most interesting things two people can do together. We are talking about "sex" benefits right? Not health care or comp time?

56 -- Do looks matter? -- Yes in that the "other" person's looks have to fall within an acceptable range to you. Do my looks matter to me? Abso-fuckin'-lutely. They matter to me a lot! And I think looks in general matter in the world but not like model good looks. I mean, do you dress and groom yourself like you care? Do you make an effort to be attractive as in you're the best YOU you can be? Are your clothes clean, do you stand up straight? Do you look people in the eye? Do you smile? Fuck yes, those things matter.

57 -- How do you release anger? -- I work out. I used to take karate and that was awesome (damn joint pain!). Hitting things/people was a great anger release valve.

58 -- Would you rather gain 58 pounds or lose 58 pounds? -- LOSE! Actually, I only need to lose 25 pounds to be smack in the middle of my "normal" range.

59 -- What's your main goal in life? -- To experience everything I can. To die knowing that I experienced as much of this life as I could.

60 -- What was your favorite toy as a child? -- This is pathetic, but we really didn't have "toys." (I just stopped typing for like, five minutes trying to think of something.) Shit. We didn't have toys.

61 -- How many number are in your cell phone? -- More than I fuckin' need, I'll tell you that.

62 -- Were you a fan of Barney as a little kid? -- Wow. You are sooooo far out of my time frame.

63 -- Do you use sarcasm? -- No, not really. I use hyperbole but I'm not sarcastic.

64 -- Mashed potatoes or macaroni and cheese? -- Both! But only when I cook them from scratch. I'm not a fan of the "boxed" version of either.

65 -- What do you look for in a lover? -- Make me laugh, baby.

66 -- What are your nicknames? -- I'm so not going there!

67 -- Favorite super power? -- Read minds.

68 -- What's your favorite TV show? -- "The Closer" is my top choice. After that, (face in palm) America's Funniest Videos. Nothing makes me laugh harder than someone, who's being completely earnest, getting hit in the head and falling down. Ask Vince.

69 -- What's the best way to deal with people that you don't like? -- It depends. If I don't have to deal with them, then it's best to avoid them. If it's someone I have to deal with for work or family reasons, then for my own sanity it's best for me to be direct. Though generally, the one thing that will make me dislike someone is rudeness. In that case, I call people on it immediately.

70 -- What's your favorite ice cream flavor? -- Chocolate. If you make it a malt them I'm in heaven. Add some chocolate sprinkles then I'll totally blow you. Seriously.

71 -- Do you have all of your finger and toes? -- Yes.

72 -- So is it going to be the Steelers or the Packers? -- Since I wrote this after the Superbowl, I have to say "Packers."

73 -- Plans for tonight? -- Nope. Husband is out and I'm just hanging out.

74 -- Where do you want to live when you retire? -- Costa Rica.

75 -- Do you want everyone to answer these questions? -- No. I don't give a rat's ass about "everyone."

76 -- What are you listening to? -- Night sounds. The window is open.

77 -- Last thing you drank? -- Currently nursing a nice Cabernet.

78 -- Last person you talked to on the phone? -- My brother.

79 -- The first thing you notice in the sex(es) you're attracted to? -- (Before I answer that, I have to say adding "es" get annoying, though I guess it is necessary.) Smile.

80 -- What do you like to do in your spare time? -- Read. I read A LOT.

81 -- Favorite thing to hate? -- I dunno. Hate is a mighty strong term. Though if I give it some thought I'd have to say bullies. I hate bullies with the white hot passion of a thousand suns.

82 -- Favorite season of the year? -- It's a toss-up: Fall and Christmas.

83 -- What's your favorite type of candy? -- Kisses with Almonds.

84 -- Have you ever really and truly had a best friend? -- Yes. The hokey answer is Vince, though he is so much more. But I also have, and have had, several people who I would definitely call truly "best friends." They are miracles.

85 -- What is your hair color? -- Dark brown. (With all the fuckin' grey covered!)

86 -- What is your eye color? -- Dark brown.

87 --Shoe size? -- 9.

88 -- Favorite fast food place? -- Five Guys Hamburgers. I swear, if I'm going to have a burger and fries, it's going to be from this place. Awesome!!

89 -- Favorite restaurant? -- Vince and I tend to eat at Mom and Pop type places. I have several in my area and yes, they are all favorites.

90 -- Do you like sushi? -- No. I don't eat fish of any sort.

91 -- Watch TV Today? -- Yes, on my never ending quest for real news. I was disappointed in US journalism once again. Sigh.

92 -- Favorite day of the year? -- I don't really have a "favorite" day as in a "date." My favorite day involves sunshine, Vince, a motorcycle, and some really cool place to go.

93 -- Play any musical instruments? -- Piano, flute, a little guitar.

94 -- Political party? -- Independent. I lean conservative on money matters and liberal on social issues.

95 -- Kisses or hugs? -- Depends. From some people I want kisses, from others, hugs.

96 -- Relationships or one night stands? -- To be honest, I like both and that one's hard to answer. My primary relationship is with Vince; he's who I want to travel the long road with. But I don't want to miss opportunities for connection and some of those connections only have a one night shelf life. But for the most part, if you're referring to sex (and I think you are) I only want to have sex with people who I have at least a friendly relationship with. Make sense?

97 -- What was the last thing you bought? -- Half and Half at the local convenience store. We were out.

98 -- Would you ever be a house spouse? -- I'm stumped here. We both work from home so technically, we both are "house spouses." But do you mean, sit at home not earning money while the other earns it all? That doesn't sound like me but only because I like to "do" things and I expect to be paid for what I do.

99 -- What book are you reading? -- Currently, I'm reading "American Rose: The life and times of Gypsy Rose Lee." However, that's not my normal genre. My next book coming from the library is "The Sentry" by Robert Crais.

100 -- Describe your love life. -- My love life with Vince is inspiring! My sex life is expanding. My love of all life is growing beyond my wildest imagination. In the end, it's all about love baby. And that, my friends, is my life.

38-365 Enough already!

2011-02-07T13:22:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty confident that my beloved readers are about as sick of "home improvement photos" as I am of working on the project. The good news -- we're nearing the end. Here Vince is gently tapping in the finishing nails for the previously pictured (37-365) refinished shoe mould.

Geez folks, this is just a rental.

But I expect we'll be done soon enough. After spending this morning working I'm going to become the clean-up crew this afternoon and by this time tomorrow, I expect it'll all be done.

On another note, I thought the game yesterday was a good one. First, congrats to all the Packers fans out there. Second, what do you expect when you get a twit like Christina Aguilerra to sing the national anthem? Can we please get the country stars? At least they tend to know the words, sing it well, and with respect. The half time show? Puh-leaze! As Vince said, he thought that with all the folks in white spandex circling the giant round stage, they could've named it "Insemination: the Musical" and had it at least make visual sense.

Catch you lovely folks later! I think I'm feeling a twinge of sexy coming on and Vince just walked in the back door. Gotta go!!

37-365 Wild Kingdom

2011-02-06T07:21:00.003-05:00

Just because I'm in a teeny lil' ol' sexual slump doesn't mean that life isn't both interesting and productive!

Taking my exercise deficit seriously, the first thing on yesterday's agenda was a bike ride. There's a certain farm along this trail that raises the most interesting creatures. I think these two are Ibex but I'm not sure. (If you know, please chime in!) They were nice enough to pose for a photo though. :)
There are also numerous orange groves in the area and now's the time to get the pollination thing going. Below are some of the industrious bee's hives that get the job done. Notice, I didn't get too close for this one! But in a month or two the incredible aroma of orange blossoms will soon fill the air. I can't wait!

(FYI -- the above photo is actually the one I meant to take on my ride Thursday and forgot. So while it's not officially 35-365, it kinda is.)

Vince and I spent the rest of the day working on our garage apartment. With the floors finally refinished ("It's done! I'm NOT putting another f*#kin' coat down, Ivey!!"), I started touching up the trim paint.

Meanwhile, Vince spent his time salvaging some old shoe mould to put down in the dinning room area. Cleaned and sanded, it's now ready for a little polyurethane!

Today is pretty much going to be a repeat of yesterday and then it's off to the in-laws for the Super Bowl. Vince is originally from Pittsburgh, so that's where our allegiances lie. I truly think there's some blood oath those folks have to take when they have a child, swearing to raise them to be devoted home team fans.

Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend!

36-365 Night drive

2011-02-05T08:14:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was my parents 49th wedding anniversary. I've already been informed that next year's blowout better be impressive so I expect to start the party planning tomorrow. Of course, as we were driving home from dinner, I realized I hadn't taken a photo; this shot is the result of my procrastination.
It's kind of fitting though. Some of you may have noticed a reduced amount of flirtiness from me lately, a certain quietness on all things sex-ay. Truth is, I think I'm in a bit of a slump. And since I am me, this has given me a few things to think about.

1. "Lower libido" does not feel like "I'm to busy/stressed/annoyed or whatever" for sex. I read a lot of blogs and comments where folks will say something along the lines of "I've just been to busy for sex." or "The kids are stressing me out and I'm not interested in sex." Mmmmmm.... I don't think so, or at least, not for me. It's one thing for me to be too busy or too tired, but that's not the same AT ALL. In those times, I still think about it (a lot!) and I can be turned on with a simple raised eyebrow. Right now, it's like it doesn't cross my mind. I hate that. I prefer the feeling of being revved all the time.

2. It's across the board disinterest. Again, there are people I read who aren't interested in sex with their spouse, but are with other people. To me, this isn't low libido at all but rather relationship issues. In my recent case, even my favorite fantasy fellas (and gals) aren't on my sexy radar either. (Sorry!) The warmth, affection, and friendship is still there, as is my deep and abiding love for my beloved Vince, but that extra jolt is somehow "missing." Dammit!!

3. It "feels" temporary, though I'm concerned it isn't because I've had a low libido problem before. That scares me witless. The good news though, is that opposed to how we managed things in the past, Vince and I are able to talk about it this time, address it, figure it out, and move on through it. It feels more like a solvable situation, rather than "a problem," and that's good.

4. I think it may have something to do with exercise or rather, a reduced amount of it. When I first had my "recovery" a few years back, it coincided with my return to cardiovascular exercise, in my case, bike riding, and aggressive work outs, like karate. Lately, I haven't been on my bike as much due to the cold and the crazy (family) and I had to quit karate due to some joint issues. But the weather as straightened out, at least down here, and I'm going to step it up and see if there's any improvement. It's funny, I'll whine about gaining a pound or two, but will PANIC at the thought of Miss Kitty losing her purr.

5. But my deepest fear is I think it may be due, in part, to the the lack of activity on the sexy-adventure front. There is something intensely invigorating to me not only about potential, but action as well, however as a friend said, "if it isn't relatively easy then maybe it isn't for you." Six months ago, I decided to step back and stop pushing so much. On the good side, my frustration with lack of action has gone down. On the bad side, my interest in it is waning. I dont' think it's because this curiosity or drive for adventure is a fad or a phase, but I do think, like much of life, it's a "use it or lose it" phenomenon. It's not that my sex drive has "died," but perhaps it is returning to it's slumbering state because it woke up, decided it is still confined to a cage, and came to the conclusion that rather than railing against the bars it's better to just go lay the fuck back down.

Perhaps, for me and maybe others, my sexuality is pan-sexual in the sense that it is there or it is not. Limiting it is like trying to limit a forest fire to one tree or the ocean to a corner.

So the photo above really does kind of represent how I feel right now -- driving down a dark highway, nothing really to see, no discernible destination. The view fuzzy and out of focus. Passing surely interesting places but not bothering to stop or get to know them.

Then again, maybe I just need to go for more bike rides.

34-365 Man cave (and sorta HNT)

2011-02-03T15:11:00.004-05:00

Your humble corespondent spent yesterday with a client so I was away all day. I got home right before "man time."
Vincent's man-cave is a musical wonderland of wires, gear, guitars, microphones, computers, recording equipment, even a manly black leather couch-y thing. And last night it also included an extra man! hehe

Unfortunately we didn't get an HNT pulled together so you'll have to make do with yesterday's post if you missed it OR, if you're in to men's legs (like I am) then you can enjoy this shot. Personally, I'm a huge leg fan (Hubman, Figleaf, and 13Messages just kill me with those legs! Da-umn, fellas!) My favorite set is above on the right, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a wide variety. All you men bloggers out there, show off a little calf and thigh for a girl. And let me know, if you do.

Anywhoo, I was pretty much all bidness yesterday so I don't have much to add. Some days are just kind of like that.

33-365 Mentally ill or a jerk?

2011-02-02T06:18:00.005-05:00

I took my bike out for a ride on the trail yesterday. It was gorgeous weather down here, 70's and sunny, light breeze. Just... delightful.

But....
But I was on the trail because I was pissed off and needed a serious attitude adjustment. I sometimes refer to our local trail on FB as a 22 mile mental health care facility. When things are really getting on my nerves, I go for a nice long bike ride and that usually perks me right up.

And it worked yesterday, for the most part. See, here's the thing, there are a few people I know who appear to be mentally ill. Seriously, the stuff they do, the way they affect others, the way they think (or don't), the piss-poor results of their actions all point to some time of mental deficiency. I mean really, how can you consistently produce such rotten results all the time unless there is something wrong with you?

But riding my bike yesterday on the lovely trail in the glorious weather, I remembered that some people are just jerks. And the best way to avoid their jerkiness is to just avoid them. Hard to do when they're family, but certainly necessary for my own mental health.

32-365 A tubber

2011-02-01T07:43:00.003-05:00

Yes folks, I am a tubber. I admit it. Proudly. Luxuriating in a deep, hot bathtub with a glass of wine, a good book, and a little music is the perfect way to end the day. (Add a little extra curricular afterwords, and it just don't get any better!)

I probably should have saved this shot for HNT but I decided to go with it since I didn't want to run around trying to come up with something else. That would've been too much aggravation as I was basking in my post-tub afterglow.

The book I'm reading is also pretty cool -- "American Rose: A Nation Laid Bare, the life and times of Gypsy Rose Lee." I was driving home the other day from a meeting and Vince called to tell me he'd just heard about it on NPR and thought I'd like it so I drove straight to Border's to pick up a copy. It's pretty darn cool, not just because of the subject but also because it is such a cool depiction of the times -- the 1920s - 1940s.

My birthday present last month was "Sarah: the life of Sarah Bernhardt." Another awesome peek not only into a life but into a time and place -- Paris, 1840s through early 1920s. What an amazing woman and and even more amazing life.

Of the two women, I think I would have liked Sarah but not Gypsy (Louise, by the way.) They both did incredible things and overcame some serious obstacles, but Sarah lived her life fully and on her own terms, while Gypsy was an incredibly damaged product of a monstrous childhood.

Fascinating.

31-365 Blue skies!

2011-01-31T08:12:00.006-05:00

In spite of the title, this isn't a post about the weather even though it has been lovely lately.

Yesterday, I had a completely new experience, something I have never done in my 44 years on this planet -- I went up in a tiny little airplane!

And all I can say is Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!! It was fantastic! This little beauty is called a Taylorcraft. It seats two -- and only two -- people. Once inside, here's the controls. That's all you get folks! And apparently, it's all you need.

We took off into a beautiful clear day. (See those horizontal lines in the shot below? That has something to do with the propeller. I have no idea how it happened, just that it wasn't there when I took the photo.) We flew above the Florida farmland and it was just .... wow.

I took this shot looking out the window and you can see our shadow on the ground. What an awesome day!

I just love doing new things. Just LOVE it!

30-365 Lovely day

2011-01-30T06:49:00.013-05:00

The weather has returned to GLORIOUS! Thank goodness. So yesterday morning I hopped on my bike and took an hour-long ride on our local trail. I must say, the folks that put this thing together did an awesome job. This is one of several stations along the trail.

They also have a bike rental there as well as a little snack and bike store, nice restrooms, water fountains, playground, etc., etc. And I have to say, when the weather is like this -- bright, sunny, and 70s -- anyone who doesn't go outside and enjoy it is beyond redemption.

Speaking of beyond redemption, last evening we decided to go out for dinner and the went to our local wine bar for desert. As always, we ran into some folks we know. They are okay to hang with at the local pub but I've decided that they really aren't "my kind of people."

"Snob," you say.

"Yep." I reply.

"There is one trait that the men in this group share and it drives me fucking nuts -- they're nay-sayers. It doesn't matter what you subject your discussing, they are always quick to point out what they think is wrong with whatever you're talking about.

Drives. Me. Nuts.

I'm an enthusiastic and curious gal. Vince is a live and let live kind of guy. If someone says to me "Hey, we're going to France this year!" My response is "Cool! Where?" Their response is "Why would anyone go there?" If someone says to me "I'm getting my private pilot's license" I say "Wow. Where do you plan to go?" They say "Little planes are dangerous and inexperienced pilots get themselves killed." They both ride Harley's and sneer at our Yamaha that we are perfectly happy with.

If there is anything in this world that turns me off it's constant negativity. And I hate it the same way a person who grew up in a household of drunks hates booze. If you don't turn into a drunk yourself, you learn to recognize the destructive effect it had on your life and every life it touched. It's the same with angry, snarky, mean-spirited, sad-sack, cynical, never-seen-a-glass-half-full, poo-poo'ers. They're like drunks who insist they don't have a problem.

Speaking of exciting things though, Vince and I have a very cool day planned. I'll have a few pictures up tomorrow I'm sure. Wheeee!!

29-365 We'd love to but....

2011-01-29T07:51:00.004-05:00

... really, we're just swamped.

At least that's what I should've said when our friend's invited us to drop by last night for an impromptu get together. They were having another couple over (that we also know and enjoy chatting with) BUT they also all have kids. Little kids. Please note the drum set in the left corner. Next to the piano. With two chairs. And there's a kid missing. Bless his heart, I think even HE couldn't take this much crazy.
I'm just not a kid person. And I have never, not once have I ever, spent time with a child and thought "Gosh, I want one."

And these girls are girly-girls. The rave of course is all things Disney. They're totally into the princesses (and modeled several full princess outfits for us) but you can't beat Queen Minnie from the House of Mouse.

And the thing is, I know all the paraphernalia the kids clamor for -- all the hats, and dresses, and shoes, and toys, and stuffed animals, and dolls, and and and -- is all cheap-ass crap produced in China by other people's children. And it bothers me.

But hey, she's cute isn't she? And she loves you. It says so. Right there.

27-365 Date night (and 28-365)

2011-01-28T07:30:00.004-05:00

27-365

Getting caught up on the days means going back to Wednesday. Our heroine Ivey had just completed a major phase of a big project while dealing with all sorts of life and death crises and new family issue snaggle. So after returning a few emails, she took the rest of the day off.

First, a manicure and pedicure. It's like mini-vacation.
Next, a movie! It's becoming rare that a movie comes out that we really want to see but we'd been looking forward to "The King's Speech" ever since we saw Colin Firth interviewed on The Daily Show. The movie is outstanding and that Colin is all sorts of awesomeness. Great performances from the entire cast.

Finally, drinks and appetizers! It's not our normal hang out and as we walked in the door, a musician friend of Vince's was playing sax. Well, he wasn't playing BECAUSE we walked in the door; he just happened to have a gig there that night and we just happened to show up. But anyway.... a lovely time was had. Hand-holding (wth my yummy pink nails), eye-gazing, giggles... ya know.

28 - 365

I spent yesterday at my brother's house. Let's just say that what some families call a crisis, mine calls Thursday. I snapped a few photos but decided not to post them. Just makes me sad.

26-365 Time to relax a bit

2011-01-26T08:32:00.003-05:00

I sent out the bulk of phase one of my huge project yesterday. Finally! After all the interruptions and distractions and changes in direction and and and, I don't have that sword over my head this morning. Yippee!!

So I was able to relax a little last night. While cooking supper, I noticed this on the counter and for some reason it cracked me up. I decided it looked like a very surprised face peeking over the edge of a bowl.
Supper itself was a delish concoction of braised chicken thighs with a mushroom/lemon/wine sauce served over rice. Yum!

And my after supper treat was another round of nookie courtesy of my favorite fella. Here were are relaxing in the post-orgasm glow.

I'm going to tie up a few details this morning but then taking the rest of the day off. Planning to get my nails done and maybe Vince and I will catch a movie later this afternoon.

A MUCH needed break.

Just a thought on 25-365

2011-01-25T08:14:00.002-05:00

It occurred to me this morning that I actually posted today's Proj365 yesterday (the cat and the kid along with the flowers) so I have nothing for today.

Whew!

Three weeks into January and it's clear my little blog is taking on a different flavor in 2011 and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I've never wanted Ivey Lane to be a "journal." That's not the style of writing that I dig and more importantly I find it boring in other people's blogs. I want to read content that has depth of thought, addresses a bigger issue, delves into a deeper topic than "here's what I had for lunch today" or my all time most annoying long litany of "ain't my kid cute?"

Which brings me to the other hand; combining Proj365, as best I can, with the way I like to write may be interesting, or at least to me. And since I really and truly write this blog for me, I think I'm going to try to stay with it and see where it goes. There could be a number of benefits. First, I'll write less each day but hopefully say more in total. The images make the blog itself more interesting. And I think I will become both a better photographer and better writer in the long run.

I'm sure there will be plenty of sexy stuff (Vince dubbed me the "nookie monster" this morning. hehe) as well as the usual life observations. I hope it continues to keep your interest. Let's see how it goes!

24/25-365 C'est la vie

2011-01-24T20:19:00.005-05:00

I don't know what it says when you receive phone calls and texts from folks that essentially say "When I kick off, I want you to plan the memorial!" but it appears Kate's final send off was a hit. The right amount of pathos and humor, irreverence and humility. Our girl was a force of nature and we sent her out with a bang and a hell of a soiree! (She was originally from New Orleans, if that tells you anything about the evening.)

We had the "service", appropriately enough, at a theatre. Afterwords, about 60 or so folks came to my house for the "wrap" party. For those of you not familiar with theatre etiquette, at the end of the run of any show or filming, there is a wrap party for when you "wrap up the show/filming." It's a tradition. The MC of our event closed with these words "You get to be the star of one major show -- your own life. Thank you Kate. It was a hell of a run." And with that the audience rose to their feet and gave our Kate the standing ovation her live deserved.

Oh, that we can all call that our end.

But at the house we had food....
... and beverages (the booze was in a another corner),

And LOTS of great conversation!

And then the phone rang. It was my mother.

When my mother calls at 10 pm on a Sunday night the news isn't good and last night was no exception. No details, but as it turned out I had to sneak out the back door of my own party (leaving a couple of dear friends to help Vince clean up) and go to my brother's house for a family emergency.

The two sleeping angels in this pic aren't. Angels that is. The cat, who looks oh-so-sweet here, is actually the most obnoxious, demanding, and downright mean pussy I've ever encountered. The cherubic sleeping boy -- Dennis the Menace. But their lives both just got indescribably harder, in one fucking evening.

So I leave you all with a shot of Kate's flowers that I actually took this evening when I got home. Pink Tiger-Lilies. I thought they suited Kate.

Star in your own show, people. Life is always, ALWAYS fragile.

23-365 Comfort food --- Okra

2011-01-23T12:20:00.002-05:00

Today's the day for Kate's memorial so I've been hustling about getting ready for the "show" and yesterday I completed a major portion of my work project that's been eating my lunch. So last night was a night in for me 'n Vince. I have to say, I haven't felt this caught up and relaxed in weeks. We tossed steaks on the grill, sweet potatos in the oven, and one of my all time favorite comfort foods -- okra.

Now some folks have issues with okra, mostly when it's not cooked correctly (I've heard some people boil it. Shudder!) Ya got a fry it folks; you can batter it or just slice it up and toss it in a skillet with bacon grease but it MUST be fried. The way I was brought up was a bit of a hybrid.

So for y'alls cultural edification, here is one -- there are others -- authentic way to "fix" okra.

Start with fresh okra. If it has a few spots, that isn't a problem it and is more likely on organically grown produce anyway. Wash it.
Cut it up. Do NOT rinse it. It's supposed to be slimy on the inside and if you cook it right, the sliminess goes away. If you boil it, you get what you deserve.

You add two, and only two, ingredients -- salt and cornmeal. Sprinkle generously with both. By the way, southern food is generally salty. Had to do with eating meat preserved with salt, generally scraped from "the bottom of the barrel." That's where the phrase comes from. You're welcome.Fry it in a cast iron skillet. This recipe isn't a battered deep-fry but instead a pan fry. If you want to be authentic you'd use Crisco or the like but my only nod to general health is I now use Olive Oil. My granny would probably shake her head in dismay and worry that I'm not feedin' Vince right.

Make sure the skillet is hot before you add the okra.

Cook it over medium high heat, stirring regularly until the okra is bright green, the cornmeal is crispy, and some of the pieces are starting to look burnt. It isn't burnt, it's caramelized; that and the cornmeal are how you get rid of the slimy quality.

Da-umn that's good eatin'!

22-365 Incognito?

2011-01-22T10:16:00.004-05:00

Another night on the town with friends! Though this time, it was a crazy kinda mix with some very old, but also kinda new, friends.

High school meets Facebook.

Through the magic that is FB, I've discovered some pretty cool people who all came out of the same backwards, redneck, jerk-water but oh so authentic locale of my youth. Not sure exactly how it happened (we decided it had something to do with leaving town though there was an exception to that in the group too) but we all kind of discovered that the world is larger, better, and vastly more interesting than our upbringing would have allowed us to believe.

It's a convoluted story, but it turned out about 10 of us all get to the same town where Vince had a gig and decided to meet for dinner then go to the club where he was playing for drinks and dancing. But since we had dinner at a local restaurant, and I was in club wear (to play groupie!) we needed to tone it down a bit. One of my high school buds had a trench coat.
Obviously, I didn't take the above photo though we did use my phone. So in keeping with the Proj365 spirit, here's a shot of the sleeve I did take.

But the title of the post is "Incognito" and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with wearing a trench coat to cover up some sexier-than-normally-seen-in-a-steakhouse clothing. Two of the people in the group were the folks I mentioned that had dinner with us when Hubman was visiting. So they are swinger-types who definitely know a little more about our, ahem, extra curricular interests and, shall we say, share them. One guy in the group is someone I flirt with outrageously on FB (not to the extent I do with some of you hehe) but he's a vanilla friend with something a little more fun and spicy in the mix. The others I don't know well enough to judge but it's a pretty safe bet that while they may think that I'm a little "forward", if they knew the extent it would be shocking to say the least! Add to this the fact that Vince was working so the other folks in the band are actually co-workers.

So we were out on the town, half in and half out of the closet, keeping it fun and keeping it on the down low all at the same time. Traveling incognito, so to speak. And it takes more than a trench coat to keep it out of sight.

21-365 Casual friends

2011-01-21T10:57:00.005-05:00

Sunday is Kate's memorial. Actually, it's more like a celebration. She was originally from New Orleans and we're doing our darned-est to make sure the event doesn't turn into a morose pity-party. My role in the affair is pretty much turned into "producer" which is great, 'cause that's pretty much an easy-peasy thing for yours truly. Of course, production meetings are a little different when I'm running the show! But there is so much wonderfulness involved in this endeavor. The group gathered last night included a radical red-headed lesbian, a Jewish political type (who recently lost her gig 'cause her guy got voted out), a gay white casting director, a black straight actor who looks my age but is actually about 25 years older, black straight actress and web designer, then musician Vince and writer Ivey. I've known some of these folks for 18 years, others for just a few. But damn it feels good to be around them. Easy. Relaxed. Casual.

And now, back to the factory!!

HNT -- A nice ass (and 20-365 Phase II begins)

2011-01-20T08:12:00.003-05:00

Happy HNT one and all! I thought I'd show you all one of my favorite assets today. I am a girl blessed with plenty o' round, curvy tush. Can you believe there was a time when it bothered me?
(In the interest of full disclosure, this photo is about a year or so old. With the crazy schedule of late I've been doing well to take and post and Proj365. I'm actually about 20 lbs lighter now than I was in this picture. Vince says I have to stop losing weight if I start losing this ass.)

And we continue with Proj365 and the floor. This is the first coat of finishing phase. One down, two more to go!

Have a great day folks and don't forget to swing by Osbasso's and check out the rest of the Half-Nekkid-ness!

19-365 At least it's not chicken

2011-01-19T07:53:00.003-05:00

So in addition to returning to the weights and measures, I also got my rear end back on the bike yesterday. Yes, it's been a bit cold (Shush, Hubs!) but I've also been a bit slack there too and letting my "busy-ness" get in the way of exercising. So I'm getting up an hour earlier so that I can enjoy my ride without feeling like I'm losing too much productive time.

We have several stopping points depending on how much time and I have this is at the "short ride" (30 minute) mark. As I was resting on my bike, I took a photo looking down...

... and another one looking up.

And now it's back to the coal mine! Tap, tap, tapping away....

18-365 In the interest of good taste....

2011-01-18T16:51:00.002-05:00

.... today's Proj365 photo is NOT being shown.

Okay, here's the deal. I don't mention it much, but I'm working on losing a few pounds. Yesterday I weighed in and was up a pound. I'm not "plateau-ing", I'm slacking. While I've been keeping track of what I've been eating, I haven't been weighing and measuring.

So I took a photo of 3 oz. of chicken on my food scale. I've got it in my Proj365 folder. It's there. But....

1 -- 3 oz. of chicken flesh on a scale doesn't look very appetizing.
2 -- it could be triggering to some vegetarians.
3 -- it wasn't a great picture.
4 -- it made me hungry to edit it.

So I'm not posting it. If you're a fellow Proj365'er, and you just feel like you HAVE to see it or you won't be complete as a person or an artist or a blogger, then let me know and I'll email it to you.

Otherwise, you can thank me in the comments for sparing you all this one.

17-365 Wrapping up a nice weekend

2011-01-17T07:39:00.002-05:00

So while Vince presses on with the floor refinishing project I've been holed up in my office working on a big project with a looming deadline. And lemme tell ya, I've been stuck. I HATE that. Without going in to too much boring detail, I've had writer's block. But on Saturday Vincent said the magic words that got me unstuck and now I'm a flurry of creativity again. Whew!!

Still, a girl needs to get out of the house/office so when some friends texted with an offer to join them at House of Blues for a concert we took 'em up on it. Thing is, we didn't quite get the planning right so while they enjoyed the sold out show, we indulged in a little Louisiana-style cookin'. After the concert, we met for drinks and that explains how we ended up with about 5 - 6 hours sleep last night.

For those who don't know,the Cirque du Soliel venue is right across the pathway from House of Blues. I just thought this was a cool image of their sun logo.

And last but not least, here's a photo of the raw, sanded heart pine floor. For those that don't know, heart pine is old growth pine. It's very dense, very hard, and has a very tight grain. These floors were installed in the '40s and they have plenty of character! (aka flaws, damage, etc.) But dang, they're going to be pretty. I hope the tenants will appreciate them. PS -- I didn't actually take this photo. Vince did.

For the rest of the week I'll probably be pretty quiet except for the photos. It's buckle-down time around here!

16-365 Summing up a Saturday

2011-01-16T09:02:00.004-05:00

Since Friday was all about drag queens and drinks with friends, Saturday is about house projects and an evening in. We have have an apartment over our garage. For the last eight years we've used it for our offices (even living in it for over a year as we renovated our house) and before that, we rented it out. With the continuing efficiency of the Internet we no longer need that much space for work and have decided to rent it again.

However, it has the coolest damn hardwood floors you've ever seen. They're heart pine, which was actually the cheap wood back in the day when the place was built but now would run you around $10/board foot. (Yes, I am a remodeling and home improvement geek.) But since the place is empty I can't resist refinishing the floors even though it's "only for a rental."

Here's the first pass with the floor sander right. I'll post more when it's finally done with a good top coating.
And since Vince did most of the sanding he decided to kick back and watch the Steelers' game (being the Pittsburgh boy he is) last night while I cooked supper. He is soooooo ruined! Here he is posting the final score on FB after the Ravens pretty much gave away the game in the second half.

Vince is continuing with the floor today while I get a little work done. This evening, we're off to a concert with some friends as a surprise for the wife's birthday. Not a bad weekend at all!

15-365 A night out

2011-01-15T08:45:00.004-05:00

Last night Vince and I went out to see a cabaret show starring a friend of ours. This lovely lady is actually a lovely guy and at 6'7", a VERY tall glass of fabulous-ness! The show was fun and the fact is this performer is actually a classically trained opera singer, so as opposed to most drag queens who simply lip-sync, he can actually belt out the lyrics and hit all the notes.
After the show, a group of us went to a trendy little bar in a hip little neighborhood. Totally vanilla but I just want you people to know these aren't my legs. Or my arm. Or my hands and in fact I think the hands belong to two different people. Just because the gathering doesn't include swingers, doesn't mean it doesn't get a bit sexy!

And now it's a day for working. We're refinishing the floors in our garage apartment this weekend. Not a hawt as last night but who knows? We may get inspired this evening!

14-365 Weights (and a lotta work!)

2011-01-14T15:07:00.003-05:00

A quick pic from my gym. I work out three times a week at a place a few blocks from my house. It's a small fitness center owned and operated by the sweetest personal trainer ever. Since I started working out there a few years ago she got divorced and now is the sole support for herself and her two teenage children. The other day, I saw on FB that she was selling her wedding ring set to help make ends meet. I work hard but I don't kid myself. Compared to most every single person on the planet, I've got it pretty easy.
Speaking of work though, Vince and my work schedule just got a whole lot busier and in a great way. We're currently working on a very large and cool project (I should actually be working on that at this moment but thought I'd just take a second to post) and knew we had three more lined up. We just found out we have two more as well. In our business, this will fill our calendar until at least the fall. Yes!! Gotta support our lifestyle. LOL

Alright, enough. Back to work!

13-365 Lines and curves (oh, and it's kinda cold)

2011-01-13T14:45:00.003-05:00

Time: Right before bed. Place: the den. What: One of Vince's guitars. Why: 'Cause I needed a pic.
And yeah, I hate to whine, especially when so many of you are dealing with REAL cold, but here's the problem -- we don't have any insulation and in our house and when it drops below freezing a heat pump won't do diddly. Our 1927 house is made of terracotta block, covered with stucco on the outside and plaster on the inside. A heat pump works by essentially removing heat from the outside air and "pumping" back into the house. If there isn't a lot of heat outside, then it doesn't work so well. In addition, the walls act more like an ice box that stores cold. Add to this the fact that my feet and hands get cold (as in don't feel human or alive) and if it gets real cold so do Vincent's.

Now all that are just a facts of life. But today, after an interminable 6 days of Aunt Flo, yours truly was in true NEEEEEED of a good rogering and after lunch seemed as good as a time as any. But have you ever tried to have sex without touching your partner with your hands or feet? Hmmm?! And in my case also trying to not let me knees, butt cheeks, or nose from touching ANYTHING on Vince as well so as not to shock the guy into a heart attack? Not to mention the ohsoattractive socks as well as insisting that no matter what position I was in, I needed to be covered by the blankets? Hmmm?!! Well have you?!

Let's just say that the mission was accomplished. Two very determined people overcame layers of obstacles to make sure that Ivey stayed mentally and physically on track. Thank goodness for perseverance! And a gas fireplace. And Vince's ability to withstand preternatural icecubes on his package for the sake of satisfaction.

12-365 Sleepy puppy

2011-01-12T08:45:00.004-05:00

As a "showbiz" gal, it's no surprise that my friend Kate's memorial service is becoming and "event" or that I'm the producer. It's going to be quite a humdinger. Anyway, we got together last night for what was essentially a pre-production meeting at the same place where we met last time.

Recognize this little girl? Yep, this is Cassie and after all the excitement of having people over, playing with toys, wrestling with her other puppy-playmates, and fighting over the chew toy she finally just needed a soft spot to land and chose my lap. What a sweet baby.

11-365 Afterthought

2011-01-11T07:50:00.004-05:00

Why do I have the feeling that you guys are going to get reeeaaaal acquainted with the stuff I have laying around my house or hanging from my walls? Last night, once again, I realized as I was getting ready for bed that I hadn't taken a photo so I snapped this pic. Grrrr.

As with all things, there's a story here too. This is a Venetian Carnival Mask from Venice Italy. It's a heavy sucker. I got in in 1987 during a trip to Europe and though I wasn't in Venice during Carnival, it was an incredible experience. I still remember sitting in the Piazza San Marco, sipping coffee, watching the people and the ever present birds.

I was 20 years old and traveling with my parents. In Switzerland we met a woman, early 30s, who was traveling by herself. Apparently her husband didn't like to leave home and she loved to go places so she traveled all over the world, all by herself. Her name was Holly. In that same city we met an older couple who also loved to travel but his health was failing and they were concerned the only had a few trips left. We all ended up going out for dinner in Lucerne and all going our separate directions the next day.

Sitting in the piazza, I looked up and there she was, pulling her suitcase across the massive open space. I thought she was pretty much the coolest woman on the planet. She was staying at a place close to our hotel so I walked over with her to check in and afterwords. (Now I know you're all hoping that this turns into "my first time with a girl" or a "and she was soooo hawt" type story but nah, it wasn't like that. Just meeting people.) I was supposed to go back and meet my folks at our hotel for dinner and she came with me. When we walked in, Mama and Daddy were sitting with the older couple we'd met. The couple had walked by the hotel cafe they were sitting at looking for a place to stay. Mama and Daddy brought them back to our hotel and they were able to get a room. We spent several days enjoying the city and this little group of people we just happened to find.

Holly was with me when I bought this mask.

I don't have a ton of "things", but the things I do have all pretty much have meaning and memory associated with them.

10-365 A fine day!

2011-01-10T07:49:00.009-05:00

Vince and I pretty much checked out yesterday -- no phone calls, no interwebs, no Facebook, no TV, nada. We had lunch with some friends and dinner with family but other than that we were our own little island. Thank goodness. Quite frankly, I really didn't want to deal with too much more of the general horror and sadness of the world. I'd had enough and needed a break.

Fortunately, an unexpected opportunity for Vince presented itself a few days ago and our lunch date had something to do with it. No details, but here are some picture hints. You may figure it out.

Pretty cool, huh?

_____________________

Speaking of the general sadness of the world, there's plenty to go around but some of it you can do something about. Veronica of Another Suburban Mom fame posted an article that is worth reading and doing something about. It concerns the appalling backlog of rape kits that haven't been processed throughout the nation. It's an outrage. Of course, it's also complicated. Check it out.

_____________________

I need to give some attention to

a series of posts by Sadie on empathy and being a "highly sensitive person." In a nutshell, a researcher somewhere has come up with a theory that about 15 - 20% of the population as HSPs, who not only keen observers of social interactions or of people's inner feelings, but who actually sense, or feel them. I'm pretty freakin' sensitive in both good and bad ways. I think it's one of the things that made me a pretty darn good performer in the past and a very good writer/producer now. It also makes it very easy for me to share in someone's joy and experience extreme highs just by being around a positive person or beautiful situation or experiencing art or listening to music and on and on.

But it also makes it difficult sometimes to shut out the bad. Negative waves just kill me. Some days I hate FB because of all the stupid and mean things people say. I feel each and everyone of them. I can't watch television shows that deal with inappropriate social interactions as their base (e.g. The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm). I can't watch shows that show animal abuse, even if they have the disclaimer that "no animals were harmed" blah, blah, blah. I NEVER watch Animal Planet. I'm extremely sensitive to sounds (too loud, too grating, too repetitive, etc), and music (moving or irritating). Vince and I once walked into a spice shop and I almost passed out I was so overwhelmed.

I tell you all this because I think this is what happens when I go "quiet" on the blogs or FB or quit watching the news or reading magazines or anything else I withdraw from. I've reached maximum density. I can't take any more of whatever it is.

I'm not a big fan of labels, but I do think it's useful to see that something is common enough that it can be identified, named, and categorized. And some of the "me too!" comments and observations seem to be a bit pretentious and presumptuous (including this one) but if it's accurate and not just another made-up bullshit trait/syndrome used to sell books and increase speaking fees then I need to give it closer look. I don't want to be less sensitive, but I would like to be able to be less susceptible to feeling pain and suffering that isn't mine to bear.

Yesterday was a fine day, mostly because it was filled with good friends and enjoyable pursuits. A terrific day if there ever was one!

PS -- I have now tried four times to fix the formatting issue (paragraph returns disappear) that occurs EVERY FUCKING TIME I try to publish this post. I'm done. Maybe it will work this time. If not, oh well. Fuckin' blogger.

9-365 Piglet or Turtle?

2011-01-09T07:30:00.003-05:00

For those of you who've never heard of it, the Moffitt Cancer Center is one of the premier cancer treatment facilities in the US. That's where I spent my time yesterday. It was Saturday so for some inexplicable reason most of the visitor locations were shut down -- the coffee shop, the cafeteria was just serving a few items, the fountain in the "Hope Garden" was shut down. I know everyone has to tighten their belts but seriously? The fountain in the Hope Garden?

Rock close-up: This is one of the rocks that encircles the fountain. It's set in this kind of mini-Stonehenge, tiny amphitheater formation. I swear at one point all I could think of was "This is Spinal Tap" and I just started giggling. Fortunately, I was alone at the time. The Shut Down Fountain: Maybe the fountain looks different when the water is turned on, but as I sat there looking at it, all I could see was a piglet drinking from a pool. Then the piglet started looking like a turtle. And they weren't giving me the drugs, folks. On a different subject, sorta, I really would like all of this death and dying business to knock it off because it is fucking with my brain and patience. The other day, after reading one stupid FB status update too many, I posted that sometime reading FB posts gave me the overwhelming urge to stab myself in the eye. Someone commented that my status then needed an explanation and I just don't have the heart or the energy. In a nutshell, in light of current events, including the shooting yesterday in Arizona, I'd just like people to stop being selfish, ignorant, stupid assholes. And if they can't manage that, then the least they can do is shut up and quit throwing their ignorance and nastiness on the rest of us.

It was a long day yesterday. But today we begin anew!! Vince and I have a great day planned and I'm sure I'll have a photo or two to share. On another note (and if you've read this far you deserve a little treat!) Vince and I are getting back into the Lifestyle game. We have several couples now that we're trying to set dates with, some more promising than others but are looking forward to the adventures with a new relaxed and open spirit. I wonder how it's going to turn out?

8-365 Store up treasure

2011-01-08T06:31:00.004-05:00

Another late night, before bed photo snap. I have to admit, I'm a fan of jewelry. First, Vince is GREAT at picking out stuff I like and sometimes it just shows up. Better than flowers folks! Second, we quickly learned that the amount of traveling we do, it just isn't practical to buy big mementos. But it's a snap to bring back a memorable pair of earrings or necklace.
But the photo also brings other thoughts to mind. I've mentioned it before in the blog but I'm pretty much an atheistic agnostic, but I was raised a devout Southern Baptist; moreover, most of the men in my family are some form of Baptist preacher. I can generally quote scripture with the best of them.

But I'm not one to toss out the good with the bad and there are times when scripture comes to mind, like this one:

Matthew 16:19-20 -- Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy and thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

This particular passage is often used to encourage the faithful to expect their rewards in the next life. It's used a lot when people are disappointed that good deeds don't seem to be rewarded or when they are observing/complaining that they don't have material wealth. There are other applications but most go something along those lines.

Personally, I've come to think of this very good piece of advice to mean that we should put our energy into non-temporal things that don't fade or wear out, and that can't be taken from you like love, generosity, etc. I luvs me some cool jewelry, but if that and pretty much any thing else I have were to disappear tomorrow I wouldn't be heartbroken. My treasure is my relationship with Vince and my friends and yes, even my wack-a-do family. I'm going to keep that in mind as I drive my brother to the cancer treatment center to see his friend. I don't believe there's some "reward" waiting in some far-off wonderland called heaven for doing this or anything else that may be considered "good." The treasure is simply in the doing.

7-365 Kettle (and another sad, sad day)

2011-01-07T07:40:00.003-05:00

I snapped this little pic late last night because I didn't have a photo ready. First of all, it ain't for tea. I hate hot tea (unless, for some strange reason, it's Jasmine Tea at a Thai Restaurant) and never drink the stuff unless I'm sick and then it involves lemon, honey, and a shot of Jack Daniels. But, one of Vince's Christmas presents was a French Press Coffee Maker, so the kettle is now a nice little fixture on the stove.
But the reason I didn't get a better picture, and that this one is an afterthought, is because I got more seriously bad news yesterday. Without divulging too much about various complex relationships, my brother's close friend, a woman he's loved since high school, lost, then rediscovered a couple of years ago, underwent brain surgery to remove a massive tumor (size of a tennis ball) that was discovered right before the new year. She survived the surgery, but they confirmed that the tumor is a stage 4 gioblastoma, the most lethal kind. If she responds well to radiation and chemo, she can hope to survive 18 months, maybe two years. Without treatment, the prognosis is 12 weeks.

She had just gotten engaged the evening before they discovered the tumor. Her fiance of 24 hours took her to the doctor due to severe headaches she'd been experiencing. She's had a very challenging life, the kind they make movies about on the Lifetime cable channel. She's been a single mother to her 16-year-old daughter. She has no insurance. And with all of that, she is a beautiful, positive, charming, happy, endearing, warm, loving, giving human being.

My brother is fragile.

Tomorrow I'm going with him to the hospital where she's currently being treated (about a 3 hour drive from his house) so he can see her.

To add to the sadness, I have another friend from my youth whose husband of 16 years was diagnosed with the same thing 6 months ago. She's in another state, so I don't see her, but he is following this same path. He has lasted through 6 months of treatment, but it is very unlikely he will make it another six. He too has teen-age children.

I know the picture of the kettle isn't exactly gripping, but I hope you enjoy it. I did enjoy taking the picture. And I swear, once again, that I plan to fully enjoy my life as long as I have it.

6-365 On the road

2011-01-06T07:45:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I had to make a little road trip (about 3.5 hours) to see a client. Near the end of the drive as I'm about 20 minutes from the client's site, you have to drive over this bridge.
Ten minutes later, you're here. The last ten minutes of the drive is four miles of this road. Purdy, ain't it?

And on this road are numerous old Florida Tabby ruins. For those of you who don't know, Tabby is a type of building material, like cement, that is made from crushed and semi-crushed oyster shells. The skill to build Tabby dwellings and other such structures came with enslaved Africans. When they got here, the Timucua and Tequesta Indians had left HUGE piles of oyster shell middens (essentially garbage heaps) which became the raw materials.

As for getting back to the regular routine, I'm ready. I not only have work that I have to do I have work that I WANT to do. Vince and I have a few potential swinger type nights to arrange and look forward to, he has a few gigs lined up so I can get back into groupie mode. I have a numerous regular dinner party gatherings to set up and a few house projects I want to check off the list. The holidays are over; now it's just January! Whew!

5-365 Vince's Birthday Soirée

2011-01-05T08:11:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was my sweetheart's birthday ---- yaaaaaaayyyyyy Vince!!

It got off to a bit of a bumpy start since he'd woken up in the middle of the night and ended up going downstairs to sleep on the couch. Not the best night's sleep. After that, we just couldn't get on the same page. To add to his B-Day woes, there was NO card waiting for him at the coffee-maker (more on this later.)

To make it even worse I wasn't firing on all cylinders either and in trying to get back on my post-Christmas weight loss plan, had come up with the not-really-so-well-thought-out plan that I'd have a salad or soup at home for lunch then just a little snack at the party. If Vince was hungry, I reasoned, we had leftovers in the fridge. Let's just say as I was explaining this to him the expression on his face was, ahem, incredulous. After a couple of seconds he just looked at me and said "Ivey, I'm not eating leftovers on my birthday" at which point I realized my dumb-ass yet earnest mistake. We ended up going out for Mexican.

Then, I had planned to set up something special for him at our little gathering later in the evening that involved his card and present. But first, I didn't get to do everything the day before I needed to set it up so was coming up with excuses to leave the house. And it would've worked to, EXCEPT my father, who was supposed to be coming in town this morning to help Vince with some house projects, decided to show up last night and not today. Meanwhile, Vince's mood is sliding down hill because his day doesn't feel "special" and while we're trying to coordinate my dad's arrival and finding out he'd inadvertently almost messed up part of my secret plan, I discover that he's bummed about the day. Damn! There's is NOTHING I hate worse than feeling like I've let the man down but I CAN'T tell him "don't worry, I'm on my way to the wine bar we're having the party at to set up a little surprise for you that includes the birthday card you didn't get this morning!!" Aaaarrrrrgh.

But wait, on the way to the bar, something goes wrong with my car (busted radiator hose, maybe) and suddenly steam is coming out from under the hood. I pull over, check the situation, and call Vince who now has to come deal with my screwed up car and completely scuttling my chance to set up his little surprise. Meanwhile, as he's getting in and out of the freakin' car to check things, his present and card are sitting in the passenger's seat. Fortunately, as he said, a bomb could've been sitting in that seat and he wouldn't have noticed because he was so focused on the car.

We get the car home, I'm scrambling to deal with the present issue, and I'm also trying to locate my dad. This is too long of a story for this already too long post but to sum up since I had the party planned, I wasn't planning to cook supper, didn't have a bed set up, and I didn't want to leave my dad all by himself for the night. I ended up giving daddy the leftovers I'd planned to feed Vince earlier, packing him off to my uncle's house and inviting all of them to join us at the party later.

Sheesh!

But we finally made it, had a great turnout, lots of friends, family, neighbors, food, and drink; a good time was had by all but most importantly by my beloved, Vincent. It was dark but I did manage a couple of iPhone shots of the evening.

Drinks!

Friends!

And my beloved Vincent! (This photo was actually taken a few years ago at Salt Lake in Utah. I included it here because it was part of Vincent's gift. I took some of my favorite photos of him and framed them for our bedroom.)

Happy Birthday, baby!

Your beloved,

Ivey

4-365 Wrapping up (almost)

2011-01-04T07:46:00.003-05:00

The Christmas Season is almost over and all that's left is the wrap up. Sooooo much more fun and exciting to put it up than to take it down!
But actually, TODAY is the last day of the our Holiday celebrations as it is VINCENT'S BIRTHDAY!! Whoooo hooooo!!! My birthday is right before Christmas which those of us born in that time frame know kinda sucks. ("We'll git ya sumthin' reeeeaaaal nice fer Christmas!") But right after is, I think, worse. Everyone is broke and/or hungover, they're all gung ho on their New Year's temperance resolutions, and quite frankly they are just freakin' tired of all the parties. But not us! We're celebrating Vince's presence in this world in general and mine in particular this evening at a local wine bar with friends and neighbors. I'm sure there will be a pic or two up tomorrow!

3-365 Dog day afternoon

2011-01-03T08:15:00.002-05:00

Sunday after New Year's, a group of friends and I got together to ... what? --- organize? arrange? deal with? --- my friend Kate's unexpected death. She had no family that we can find, no Will, no Power of Attorney, no plans, no nothing. Just so you folks know, if you die unexpectedly it creates a HUGE mess for those who are still living and want to do right by your memory. Without authority, we can't get into her apartment to look for legal papers but her landlord is working with us on that a bit. At first, we couldn't claim her body or arrange for cremation (that's been solved thanks to some cool people at the DME), no one has authority to locate or access what little money she had left or to authorize the sale of her car. Plan ahead people, plan ahead.

Anyway, we've divvied up the duties and yours truly is going to handle the memorial service and after party. Oh yeah, that's something I can do quite well! :)

And while we were formulating our plans and figuring out who can do what, these three darlings were relegated to my friend's the back porch. Of course, that didn't last too long. They were just too stinkin' cute and uplifting to be kept out of the fun!

The Ring-leader:

The Baby:The Queen:

2-365 -- New Year's Day Tradition

2011-01-02T09:58:00.004-05:00

Project 365, Day 2 (NEW YEAR'S DAY)

As I mentioned before we don't really have a New Year's Eve tradition but instead tend to gather with friends on New Year's Day. The party started on Jan. 1, 1989 at the home I shared with my roommates, the later migrated to my friend Claire's place. This year, we continue!

The feast! Always more than enough.

The drinks! Oh, and this is Claire making the first of many, many mad Mojitos. And her shirt speaks volumes.

And just 'cause I'm an opportunist, here's a great shot of a nice pair of gams and no, they aren't mine! We tend to hang out in the back yard a bit and this lovely lady snagged the hammock.

And thanks for the latest round of advice, everyone. Os, I'll be in touch soon. Hubman, I'm working on it finding a better way to upload and just ordered the updated software that hopefully will help. We'll see.

Kisses!

Ivey

1/365 -- Joining the Proj365 fun!

2011-01-01T11:51:00.003-05:00

Day one of Project 365!

First, a quick disclaimer -- I actually started Project 365 on another blog in 2010 but only made it about 60 or so days. I believe my main problem was that it was too fuckin' complex and that still may be an issue. Mainly, I bitch about Blogger. (FYI Hubman, I still can't move pics around unless I drag them on this teeny-tiny little work screen. Grrrr. Cut and paste doesn't work nor does trying to paste them to where the cursor is. F*#king Blogger!) Taking them and editing them is no problem. But it's taken me more than 30 minutes to post them here so my first order of business is to find a way to make this easier. Otherwise, it will go by the wayside again and I really don't want that to happen. Any suggestions are appreciated!

So these pictures were taken last night while I was home alone. I just wandered around the house taking quick shots of the Christmas arrangments so I'll know what I did this year for next year. This time, I added a few close-ups.

Day 1 down. Days 2 - 365 to go. And we're off!