Fucking frustration

God, this is fucking frustrating. Seriously. How freakin' hard can it be to be a fuckin' swinger, I swear to god I want to throw in the mutha-fuckin' towel!!

I was just IMing with Rick, the husband of the first couple we ever met in swingdom. (I wrote about that experience in my first two blog posts.) A few months ago we reconnected, Vince thought Leah was cute and funny, we all seemed to have a good time, and since then..... nothing, nada, niente. We've invited them out but they're never available. I even asked if they weren't interested and just wanted us (me) to leave them alone and Rick said no, they'd love to get together just "been busy." He IM'd Vince once and it was when Vince was literally walking out the door to band practice. But on this IM there was no flirting, no funny banter, nothing. Even after I did everything up to and including say "hey, I'm trying to flirt here". His response? "Gotta go. House projects. I'll let you know when we're out your way."

Okay, it doesn't take a brick wall to fall on my head. Apparently any heavy wall will do. No more invites, emails, or IMs to Rick and Leah.

And we'd finally written off A&J. After a flurry of texts from J (the husband) asking for nothing but pics, and a few benign emails between Vince and A, we didn't hear from them for weeks. Then Saturday, while I'm at my parents house, a text from J out of the blue. I tell him I can't text right then but will catch up with him Sunday.

Sunday comes, I text him. More nothingness. "Hey. Been busy. What'cha doin'?" I get a little more specific and he tells me they haven't been meeting any lifestyle folks because, well, A's "more reserved." I ask what that means and he says "she's picky.... and that's just fine." Well yeah, asshole, it's fucking fine but don't string people along! Do they want to get together or not?! Apparently not. Fine. No more invites to A&J.

The red flags from the A&K finally flamed out and they are out of the picture.

I think if we sent B&J a text saying we'd meet them at the Motel 6 they'd be in but Vince only got to meet J for about 5 minutes and seriously, why is it unreasonable for him to want to get to know a woman just A LITTLE FUCKIN' BETTER before he decides if we wants to fuck her?!

So B&J, off the list.

We've sent out more emails but very few responses. We've gone to parties and meet and greets where we meet no one and sure as hell don't party. Just about the time I'm sure we're socially inept douchebags someone from our vanilla world will tell us how we throw the best parties, they love us, we are fun, funny, "out there", great to hang out with, always awesome, or some such wonderful praise to make me think that truly, maybe it really isn't us. Maybe, it really is "them."

Swingers.

Maybe we just don't fit with these people. Maybe we really are that fuckin' unique in all the fuckin' world. Maybe are standards are too high. Or too weird. Or too obnoxious.

Maybe we truly only can be friends/lovers/adventurers with each other.

Maybe I am too fat to be attractive to the men and women we meet. Maybe Vince is too reserved or too picky.

Maybe we both have Asperger's Syndrome and can't pick up on social signals.

Maybe we're just not cut out for this.

Sigh......

Okay, rant over. I'm going to go check a few more profiles and see what does -- or doesn't -- happen next. Honestly people, I didn't start pursing this to add to the sense of constant frustration and rejection I seem to live with.

I really didn't.