Saturday, April 30, 2011

115-120 Proj365 -- Stunning beauty

Some of you guessed that Vince and I were out west for the week and yep, that was the case. We were in the Jackson Hole and Yellowstone area. I won't go in to too many details (since it would just take too much room) but here are a few photos for your enjoyment.

115-365 Sunday -- Yellowstone: In one day we saw more bison than we could count (mostly walking on the marvelously deserted park roads, Old Faithful, the mud pots, two grizzlies, lots of elk, a wolf, a coyote, ground steaming from the lava not too far below the surface, and more general beauty and vistas than one could shake a stick at. This photo was actually taken from the rental car as we were just driving around the park. Wow. It was also National Parks Week so we got in for free. Bonus wow.
 116-365 Monday -- Lone Wolf: Off we went to the Bear and Wolf Discovery Center. This lad, in fact the whole crew, were like practiced models.Perfectly posing for our cameras. He wasn't exactly alone though, there were two packs, kept separate, but that they Center took care of and let me tell you, they were all gorgeous. On of the coolest things about our trip is that it was off season and most of the places we went were almost empty. Not only did we have places, but we also had the rangers and guides pretty much too ourselves.
 117-365 Tuesday -- Wildlife Art Museum: A museum dedicated totally to wild animals depicted in fine art. Again, we pretty much had the place to ourselves so we got a private tour with a docent. This is a close up photo of pretty large painting, about 4'x6'.
Same museum, this one was HUGE! It took up almost an entire wall. 

 118-365 Wednesday -- Sweet, suite upgrade! When we got to Jackson Hole I was able to talk our wonderful hotel into an upgraded suite. You already saw the jacuzzi in this week's HNT but here's part of the main room; you can't see it, but there is an almost floor to ceiling picture window on the left and a full kitchen on the right. They spoiled us!
 119-365 Thursday -- Lone Bison: This guy wasn't actually alone either, but with his herd. We took a drive out to a wildlife refuge and these guys were just hanging out, munching by the side of the dirt road.

Of course, everybody's got to eat and we also found this guy by the side of the road as well. It's a young elk with plenty of bite marks on it's rib cage. Because it was a refuge, I'm pretty sure it wasn't hit by a car but instead a predator found a meal. We're guessing wolves, the same gorgeous, pet-like looking creatures we saw at the Discovery Center a couple of days before.

 120-365 Friday -- Good lord, does the grandeur ever end?: We had some time to kill before we caught our plane out so we just decided to take a drive and see what else there was to see. Everywhere you look was beauty and I wondered "How long would you have to live here before you started to take all of this for granted?"
 120-365 Friday -- Bye-bye, lov-ah! Ahhhhhh..... me 'n the jacuzzi got awfully close. Every night I climbed in here (sometimes with Vince - hehe) and let the swirling massage take me away. I'll miss the beauty of Wyoming and nature, and also the warm embrace of bubbly, relaxing tub!
That was the week folks! I'm back in sunny Florida for a few days then heading out again! Catch you all later!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

HNT -- Quite a pair

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday, everyone! Vince and I are quite a pair. We work and travel together; we're together ALL THE TIME, yet still enjoy ourselves immensely. On our latest jaunt we headed to the mountains. After a little sweet talk by yours truly, the lovely hotel staff where we're staying upgraded us to the sweet-suite of the hotel -- mountain views, fireplace, full kitchen and .....

two-person jacuzzi tub! After a hard days work, here's how the Lane's unwind:

I'll catch you guys up on the rest of the week later! We've been having a ball. ;) In the meantime, don't forget to check out the rest of the HNT fun at Osbasso's place!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Proj365 -- a weeks worth

A bit behind in posting Proj365 photos so I'm going to do a quick catch up:

109-365 Monday -- A Rose from a friend. This rose is from the birthday party the night before. The B-day girl gave all the ladies in attendance one from the MASSIVE bouquet she received from someone who couldn't make it. It's making me miss my rose bushes but until the Virginia Creeper is eradicated, yours truly ain't stepping foot into the damn yard.
 110-365 Tuesday -- You know you're in Florida 1: The transplants to Florida LUV their Bingo and HATE their friends' grandkids!
 111-365 Wednesday -- Something one needs to know, I guess. The Bingo folks might not care for the young'uns, but the folks at Bodum do. I gave Vince a French press coffee maker for Christmas and our drip coffeemaker gave up the ghost a few weeks later. The other morning, we finally got around to reading the instructions on the side.
 I guess the normal users of a French Press need to be told to keep hot fluids and kids separate. Is that because it's "french" or is that because it's pretentious coffee making?
 111-365 (still Wednesday) You know you're in Florida 2: The guys (and it's always guys) who hang the fake testicles from the back of their trucks are just annoying. But this guy gets extra points. Yep, those are actually large "nuts" welded to a huge chain, attached to his trailer hitch. Seriously dude. Seriously.
 112-365 Thursday -- Tiny frogs: On my run their were more babies (in addition to the ducks.) These little guys were everywhere and I looked like a moron trying to run and not step on any of them. I'm sure I failed and the guilt is killing me. Maybe there should be a warning label for their little frog parents -- "baby frogs and runner's feet should be kept apart."
 113-365 Friday -- retiree madness: They may be grandkid hatin', bingo lovin' freaks, but they also have an eye for tricking out their golf carts. Note the neon glow beneath this rad roadster.
 114-365 Saturday -- A good question: Vince and I are off on another travel adventure and we found this sign posted in one of the Salt Lake City airport eateries. I guess in our case, the answer is kind of obvious, at least to the readers of this blog. Hehe.
 114-365 Saturday -- Majestic: And here we are. This is our locale for the next week so posting will be sporadic though you may not be able to tell a difference though considering my posting regularity, or lack thereof, lately.
Hope you all have a great week! I'm sure Vince and I will have plenty of photos and we'll try to come up with a really good HNT!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

106&107-365 Goodness and Sadness

Thanks to the continuing, on-going, and seemingly inexhaustible incompetence of our elected leaders, Vince and I have been kind of idled recently. So we've been filling our time dining out, going to movies, having drinks in bars at 2:00 pm, and so on. Yesterday I started ripping our CD collection to my computer. Good times.

106-365 Yummy Goodness. I didn't actually eat any of these sugary delights. I was too busy enjoying the bar-b-que at the new joint that opened up in town. Line out the door to get in but it was indeed, quite tasty.
107-365 Sadness. Damn it. Last week Red and Louisa quit coming to their nest and I just fucking knew it. The babies were gone. Whatever got them this year didn't tear up the nest like last year which makes me think it may have been one of the many raptors we have around here -- owls, hawks, ospreys, eagles, whatever. I get that it's nature and all, but it saddens me none the less. This is the third year and next year, if they start building their nest in these same bushes, I'm going to knock it down. My heart just can't take it.
With my legs still being in the same sad shape, I decided we can't go on any dates (and we've had the opportunity) and we aren't going to any parties (and there's one we've wanted to go to for a while) so this weekend is going to be pretty straight up vanilla. We may take the motorcycle out today, I'm going to hang with a girlfriend tonight. Tomorrow, we're off to the theater then another friend's surprise 60th birthday party. 

On another sad note, I found out last week that one of my second cousins died. She'd had a very hard life of illness, depression, drug and alcohol abuse but it appeared she was getting better. She was about my age and her daughter (who is single and currently pregnant with her first child) found her dead at 2:30 in the morning. They'd watched a movie together the night before, and sometime between turning in for the night and when her kid got up to go pee in the wee hours of the night, her heart stopped.  

Next week, I have a house guest. I've mentioned before my friend whose husband has brain cancer. She needs a break. Of course, it will cramp Vince and my time for our usual anytimewefuckin'feellikeit fucking, but sometimes one must make sacrifices. In all seriousness, it's yet another reminder of that life is short, unpredictable and can be astoundingly sad and difficult. Give what you can when people need it, lighten the load, share the burden as well as the joy. Don't hold back. Don't be scared. It's a very short trip from cradle to grave. 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

HNT -- The girls in public (also 105-365)

Happy HNT one and all! Since my legs can't be on display these days I like to dress my girls up and take them out on the town. :) 
Don't forget to check out the rest of the Half-Nekkid fun over at Osbasso's place!


102-104/365 Butchers and plagues

A quick catch up: 

101-365 Denuded: Who the hell would do this to a tree? Two people I know and love dearly. Sigh.
 103-365 Butchered: These are, or rather were, my Easter Lilly plants. They have grown in the back yard, unmolested since we moved into our house 12 years ago. For some stupid reason, the yard guys decided to "trim them up." Have you ever seen anything so dumb-ass? The plants will probably survive into next year (they're tough), but they don't recover from this type of butchery in the season. Sigh.
 104-365 Plague: I've been whining about it and here it is -- these are my great gams TWO WEEKS after the Virginia Creeper exposure, in other words, this is them looking BETTER! Dear lord, the temps are finally back into the sticky upper 80s and I can't wear shorts or even a dress for fear of causing a public health panic. Sigh.
Okay, the next post is HNT. I'll cheer up.

Monday, April 11, 2011

A Night at the Gentleman's Club (and 101-365 Baby Ducks!)

I know you're all dying to see the baby ducks so if you must, go ahead and scroll down to check them out. Cute, cute, cute!!

And now, a night at the club:

We met our friends at a local martini bar and marveled at how it felt like only last week since we saw them. It's actually been over a month. But the sexy chit chat and laughter still flowed nicely and after a relaxing snack and round o'drinks, we set out for the strip club. We chose the premier upscale club in our area, the place where the food really IS outstanding the ladies really ARE stunning. Our seats were perfect; just back from the dance area and right in front of the main pole.

I'm glad I saw the "rules" post that I wrote about yesterday. I felt completely relaxed. In fact, that is the second of the two things that cause me to stress out -- not knowing how to behave or what to expect. And it's closely related to the most stressful cause of tension for me -- inappropriate, obnoxious, or clueless behavior. Seriously, I can't watch "Curb Your Enthusiasm" for that very reason and have a hell of a time watching "The Office."

Anyway, back to the story. The atmosphere was great -- clean, just the right amount of lighting, not crowded but not empty. The music was up but not overly loud to the point you couldn't laugh and hear your own conversation. There were a LOT of girls and they were all lovely and had a nice range from very thin to slightly curvy. One surprising thing was that they were all very natural; no garish makeup, no fake boobs, no wacked-out hairstyles. But the shoes... OMG the shoes! Three to four inch platforms with an additional three to four inch heel. Damn. And they didn't fall over. Not once. I'm sure most of the men do not marvel or even notice such things but I sure as hell did. And was even more impressed.

Speaking of impressed, most of the ladies really could pole dance and I mean that in an athletic way. The Cirque du Soliel performers have nothing on these women!

At first, the Mrs. and I were the only two women customers in the club and there were probably 20 - 30 men. One table of guys were the "make it rain" types and they were seated just a few feet away. Needless to say, they were getting a lot of attention from the ladies, buying lots of table dances, so through proximity we kind of got a little bonus. Hehe.

So after another glass of wine I finally worked up the nerve to tip a dancer, a lovely Latina lady, perfect skin, medium sized boobs, great smile and she smiled at me a lot. I took my dollar up to the edge of the stage, ignored the thoughts in my head of "what the hell are the men in the club thinking of me right now" nerves, waited patiently for her to notice me (which she did, very quickly), and immediately dropped my dollar.

Damn. I laughed and picked it up, slid it under her garter, told her that she was lovely. A little while later, she came by the table making her "thank you" rounds and yes, I got my first table dance. She was a terrific pro -- great dancer, terrific body, lovely smile and laugh. I was thoroughly entertained and yes, it was worth the $$.

And Vince was entertained too. And the other couple. And it was just an all around great night. The Mrs. and I made out in the ladies room (wheee!) and went back to the table where each whispered that fact into the others husband's ear. When we left the club we had some seriously sexy good night kisses in the parking lot along with curses at the fuckin' Poison Ivy/Virginia Creeper that was preventing the four of us from having a serious fuckin' throw down. Damn.

But we're going to see them in a few weeks time. Vince and I are tied up with work and travel through the end of the month but the delay should give me time to heal. In the meantime, I anticipate some sexy, flirty texts and maybe a few picture exchanges. There's a party next weekend that we'd planned to attend but for now the jury's out on that one as well. It's a Hef and Bunny party. I can't do "bunny" in this condition. Sigh.

But after all this time on this long road, I think Vince and I are finally hitting our stride.

And now, 101-365: the baby ducks:

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Strip Club Etiquette (and catching up on Proj365)

Tonight I'm going to my first strip club and once again, fate has brought me timely advice! Reading the Huffintonpost this morning I find this article "The Strip Diary, Day 4: An expert video guide to Gentleman's Club Etiquette." Perfect!! At the end of the article there's a link to a video with two current and one former strippers who offer expert advice on some do's and don't's. Obviously, they are speaking mostly to how men should behave but at the end, they address women's behavior as well. I feel prepared as it seems simple enough:

  1. Dress appropriately. (Look good. Men no sweatpants or linen trousers, wear underwear and that goes for the ladies too.)
  2. Keep your mouth closed (as in don't have "bass mouth" when a dancer is giving a dance i.e. working)
  3. Keep hands to your self.
  4. Don't grind back if the dancer is grinding on you.
  5. Smile if you're enjoying yourself, make eye contact.
  6. If you don't want a dance, just say "no thank you." Nothing more and definitely not "maybe later." (Sounds like rule one of swinger-dom)
  7. Ladies, you're a customer/client, not an employee of the club. The pole and the dance floor is where people work, not play. It is not for you.
  8. Ladies, don't go if you're going to be jealous.
  9. Enjoy the entertainment.
  10. Don't be an ass.

On to Proj365!

98-365 Ducks!! I do my run/walk thing around at our community Rec center which has a retention pond / water feature. As soon as the thing was built a bunch of ducks took up residence in this new urban wetlands. On my first jog around I saw them with all their little ducklings but by the time I came back around with camera ready they'd hid the kids and just the grown-ups were hanging out. Maybe I'll catch them on Sunday.

 99-365 Grand-dog! Our new tenant has a dog. She's 24 and young enough to be our daughter so we've decided he's going to be our grand-dog. We get to play with him and have a good time but we don't have to clean up after him, feed him, or take him for walks when it's pouring rain. And Vince and I absolutely LOVE dogs and it's so wonderful to have this guy around. We look forward to baby sitting, play dates, and the general health and well-being that comes from having a dog on the place. Of course, we now have to be careful of not co-opting this verygoodboyyesheishesaverygoodboy!
 100-365 Babies!! I mentioned that I thought Red and Louisa had chicks in their nest and yep, here they are! There are three of them and our back door Cardinals have been working like crazy to keep these little mouths fed. There are three of them in there and now I'm just a wreck. Are you can see, the kids are unattended and though this is a nice neighborhood it's wild kingdom around here -- birds, cats, snakes, oh my! I'm just going to keep fretting until these little guys are out of the nest.
That's all for today folks! I'm now off to enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Damn, damn, damn!

I get it. It's funny. Haha. Ivey Lane gets into Virginia Creeper, which is really just like Poison Ivy and has to alter her (and Vince's) plans with a wonderful couple of swinger-types for Saturday night. Get it? Ivey? Ivy? DAMN!!

On a positive note we just changed the plans, didn't cancel them, and I'm anticipating a terrific evening out on the town. We're going to have dinner then head to a strip club -- a first for yours truly. Wheeee!!

But that's the thing. From the beginning, it's been about more than sex and fucking for me. It's about adventure, good times, openness, laughs, enjoyment of the broader, wider, richer world. At the risk of sounding like a freak, it's always been about personal growth. I don't want to be a one-note-nellie on anything and we truly enjoy these people and the fact that we find each other sexy as hell is icing on one hell of a yummy cake.

It was funny though. As I finally realized that the rash that has eaten my leg was too much of an obstacle to overcome I had to figure out what to say to our friends. Let me tell  you folks, this was NEVER something where I thought I'd need to know the proper etiquette.

"Hi! It's Ivey. We'd love to see you but I'm too hideous to fuck. Really. I look like a leper. Would you like to get together anyway or would you rather just call it off because hey, if we can't put out, really, what would be the point?"

Needless to say I pulled myself together before I picked up the phone realizing one of the most wonderful learning experiences of the LS -- "Not this time" doesn't mean "Not ever." And good times can and will be had. And priming the pump can be a ton of fun.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

95&96-365 Meet Louisa

95-365 Monday: This is Louisa. She and her best beau Red have, for the second year in a row, made their nest right outside our back door. She has a couple of eggs in there and I think they may have just hatched (she's been a bit puffed up lately.) I have to tell you though, this is just frazzling my nerves. You see, last year they built the nest and hatched the chicks and within a week either a cat or a snake or something got into the nest. I am now so nervous I can't stand it. 
 96-365 Tuesday: I've decided to I want to try my  hand (or my feet, rather) at a 5k run. I haven't run in YEARS. In fact, I haven't run since the 8th grade. But I've wanted to give it a shot and see if I can do it. The training regimen has me gradually building up running vs. walking with the first day being run 1 minute, walk 1 minute and do that 10 times.

Yesterday was my first day in training and this is what happened to the sky just as I was finishing up.
I got an extra run in racing back to my house to beat the rain. Mother Nature motivates!

Monday, April 4, 2011

92,93,94-365 Weekend wrap up

Despite some of these photos, we actually had a lovely weekend.

92-365 -- Friday -- Humdinger: The storm last Thursday that caused the water to leak into the house left quite a mess on the trail. Almost the entire length was scattered with debris like this. But the cool thing is the storm brought PERFECT weather back. It's been dry and in the upper 70s again. We only get this type of weather for maybe a few more weeks so we're lovin' every minute of it. :)
93-365 -- Friday -- Poison WTF:  Last weekend I got out into my yard to pull some weeds and get rid of some plants that didn't survive the winter freezes. This is what has happened to me the last few times I've worked my front yard. Yep. Poison somthin' or the other. It isn't Poison Ivy (which I think would be wonderfully ironic) because I know exactly what that looks like. I'm very sensitive to it. And I don't think it's Virginia Creeper. But it's on my both arms and legs and itches like a mo-fo. I swear it feels like I've been descended on by the plagues recently.
94-365 -- Sunday -- Cutie pups: Sunday evening was dinner at a friends place. She's an aspiring chef and the food was delicious! Sadly, these two forlorn looking pups didn't get to have any of it. The little guy pulled every big-eyed trick in the book too but we all held firm. I took this when we were heading out and he still looks like he's trying to play me.
We have a nice busy week ahead but I'm going to make an effort not to get so far behind and add a little sexy in here somewhere.

Catch y'all later!