Sunday, June 12, 2011

What's up with Ivey?

I glanced over at my archive list and boy oh boy, I have seriously fallen off the blogging wheel. I knew that, of course. And it's true Vince and I have been and will continue to be crazy busy for at least another 4 months or so with work related projects. But I saw Hubman's post the other day "Whatever happened to...." and I realized that a) I also kind of wondered what happened to some of those folks and b) not that I've been inundated with requests or notes for info, I don't want anyone to wonder that about me.

First of all, nothing is wrong. In fact, life is pretty freakin' grand right now. On the Lifestyle front, Vince and I have finally -- after two years -- hit our stride. We have friends we play with and are meeting new people regularly. Some of them we plan to attend a party or two with if we can find a party that suits our more laid back style than the one I wrote about here. Some of the couples are indeed developing into friendships, the kind that we enjoy and we may even plan a short trip or two. We've also learned to enjoy encounters that maybe last for one night.

We've planed out, so to speak, in a good way. That doesn't mean we don't have growing to do as individuals and a couple. There are still areas where we disagree but we also know that sooner or later our thinking is going to evolve in some new fashion that we've both yet to anticipate. For me, the sense of frustration, of denial and missing out, is gone; for Vince, I think he's found his comfort zone which allows  him to relax and enjoy the people we meet.

However, I've lost all desire to write about it here. Perhaps it's the dramatist in me, but without conflict, where's the story? If there's nothing to overcome, no dragons to slay, no demons to confront, no battle to win, then I lose my desire to chronicle. And I never, ever, want to be an "advice" dispensary. I'm neither qualified nor interested. So what is there to say?

It's been a little over two years since Vince and I started, at my prompting, this particular phase of our adventure, three years since I'd conquered the body-image/self-loathing problem, four or five since I'd confronted both the errors and grace of my family, childhood, and youth. There are, indeed, more demons out there (or rather "in here") to confront. But I think, at least for the rest of the summer, Vince and I are simply going to enjoy our new found openness, albeit while we're working our asses off.

So from time to time I may post a photo  or two (LUV me some HNT!) or pop in to say hi. I probably won't give the blow-by-blow (hehe) recap of what's happening around Ivey Lane and in fact, I may decide to start or return to another blog. My inner voice is becoming my outer voice (much to Vince's consternation, I assure you!) and goodness knows I do like to speak my mind! Somewhere.

So I'll leave you with a photo from our latest little jaunt. We were at Arches National Park in Moab, UT. To reach this particular spot you had to climb a trail that the National Park Service dubbed "strenuous," and it was. On the way up and at the top there are no safety lines, guard rails, cautions, anything. If you fall, you will definitely be seriously hurt but most likely you won't survive the 100 - 300 foot drops to the stones below. You can't see them in this photo because we got to the top fairly early, but there were people and kids everywhere, scampering up, down, and over rock formations, leaping across gaps where one slip and it's all the fuck over.

But wow. Just fucking wow was it ever worth it. Some people can't climb up here because they aren't physically or mentally able. Some people won't because they are afraid or not interested. Some will cling to the rock faces and bitch and moan and not enjoy - or ruin for others -- the wonder and beauty that's right in front of them, theirs for the taking. But to miss such a sight? To not try? Because of fear or weakness? Because someone else tells you it's too dangerous or not worth it? Holy hell. Vince and I know that one day we won't be able to make such a climb. These views will only be memories.  

And we'll continue to keep our eyes peeled and our hearts open for folks like us to share this journey with, this short and precious life, at least for a mile or two. So this is me -- getting refreshed, taking a break, enjoying the view, and as always, watched over by my beloved Vincent. I'll catch y'all later. 
XO -- Ivey


  1. I am glad to see you posting again, but I can understand your conflict.

    However its probably more fun to be having the fun you want and no drama rather than plenty of drama for blog fodder.

  2. There's only so many Internet TMI questionairre type posts one can fill out right?

    I'm very glad to hear that the original purpose of this blog is becoming obsolete. And I certainly won't cast stones in non-blogging glass houses :-)

    That looks like an awesome hike!

  3. I'm glad to have been along for the journey as you've shared your journey with us, and wherever you go next, I'm looking forward to continuing to follow along.

    And I'm telling you, next time you go somewhere with such awesome scenery, take me along as your photographer!

  4. Two years is about what it took us to hit our stride so to speak. But like you when things began to fall into place we met some couples who remain friends today and that is after we all have opted out of the lifestyle because of age. We have enjoyed reading about your adventure but most of all enjoyed you photography. We also agree there comes a time when the writing is more of a chore than a pleasure. Will miss you but wish you the best

  5. It's nice to hear an update from you :) And terrific news that you've hit your stride and things are going so well.

    I have blogging lulls where I feel as if, if things are peachy..what is there to write about??