Sunday, June 27, 2010

Sunday ramblings and revelations

First, I just have to share this flower. I love blue flowers (my yard is FULL of them, from Plumbago to Blue Daze) and this field of blue was on the trail where I ride my bike every morning. Pretty, ain't it? I love finding and photographing flowers; every time I feel like I'm the first one to have ever stopped to see it, to appreciate its beauty. I know I'm not, but it's like the revelation of that particular moment is just for me.

Anyway, I gotta tell y'all, I love reading your blogs! It's sort of like the flowers, I know I'm not the only one but sometimes it feels like it's just for me!

Sometimes it's the adventures, sometimes the photos (both the naughty and the nice), sometimes it's the humor. There are times though when it's the challenges faced; I feel a connection, a "yeah, I been there, Buddy" kind of vibe. On occaision I've encountered the "holy shit, there's some crazy in the world!" Some of you seem to write what's in my head, as if you have some super-human knowledge that trancends time and space. On more than one occaision, people have written something that has completely changed my point of view, or at least given me a new perpective to consider. Sometimes it's answer-seeking -- I've combed some of y'all's past posts looking for specific solutions or points of view on issues I or we've been dealing with.

And other times, it's a celebration! Like this series of posts over at my girl Minority Report's place. I admit it's odd, but when I read this post I truly felt gleeful! And then I thought, "Good gravy, Ivey! Your all happy-dappy because some woman you don't even know (and her husband) had an enjoyable sexual experience! What's up with that? Are you turning into a creepy voyeur?!"

And then I thought "No, it's because I care about this person." I know sex and sexuality is a thread in my blogroll, but I wasn't giddy because the woman got laid; I was happy because she had success with something that has been troubling her. The important elements of the story (to me as the faithful follower) were the joy, relief, fun, humor (the dog is fine, MR), and hope conveyed in the words. And I got to share those wonderful feelings because she chose to share the story with us.

Reading the comments that followed the post, I reminded I'm not the only one enjoying the flower. Support and encouragement came in from all over the country -- a community.

Shifting the topic a bit, Vince and I had a lovely date the other day. It started with a rousing round of after lunch sex (we are self-employed, ya know) then we went to a late afternoon movie ("Get him to the Greek" -- two thumbs up!), drinks afterwords at a Cigar bar, then a fantastic Italian dinner al fresco, then home for some more hawt luvin'!

All that was fun but I think the coolest thing was our conversation. Of course there was the usual Vince / Ivey funny banter stuff -- we do that all the time -- but we also talked about things that would've been unheard of 18 months ago but that have made both of our lives richer, fuller, more fun, more open (at least with each other), and the cause of a considerable amount of personal growth. We talked about my on-line and real life friendships, some that include some not-so-societally-acceptable benefits, and the enjoyment that those relationships bring to BOTH our lives. We talked about Vincent's recent foray into the world of on-line flirting and the enjoyment as well as increased confidence it brings. We talked about how much I LOVE not only the idea of him having flirty relationships with other women but the reality of it as well.

We talked about our real and recent sexual adventures -- what worked, what didn't, what we'll do different in the future if and when the opportunity arises -- but mostly about how it's almost as if the sex is simply one avenue to expand the richness of life, one among many choices that we will continue to make as we grow old together.

We also talked about where we draw our lines, how we maintain both primacy as each other's partners as well as independence as distinct human beings.

This journey has been a hell of a ride! :) And there are plenty of pretty flowers to be found everywhere!

So this post is really about the joy of sharing, of connecting: with fellow bloggers who are part of a wider community, some of whom I've grown to know, even though I don't really know them at all. Some who have, through correspondence become friends, some are becoming good friends who have crossed the line between my blogger persona and into my "real" life. The increased richness between my husband and myself and of a trust and joy that is light-years beyond what I ever thought possible. Watching his confidence and openness grow -- at his own pace and in his own way -- separate from yet united with me.

And the ultimate -- connecting with my true self, my nature as a caring, loving, sexual, intellectual, artistic, adventurous person. I'm a better wife, artist, writer, and friend.

Thank you all for your inspiration.


  1. Its so good to have uninterrupted chat time with your husband. It is hard to do with all the other distractions that life has to offer.

  2. Thanks for the mention. And you're right, the dog is fine. ;)

    I enjoy the bits of bloggers' lives they choose to share also, and I do find myself cheering people on or sympathizing with a particular situation. And at times I get to live a bit vicariously through some.

    Glad you got some time with Vince to just relax and chat and be together. Sounds like it was a great day.

  3. I have truly enjoyed the comments and connection we have made on our blogs. We do seem to have similar feelings on subjects. And you are right - it isn't voyeuristic as much as it is supportive. I like that.

    Sounds like you and Vince had one of those great chats. I love those moments.

  4. I love it when hubby and I have those kind of conversations... there's a level of intimacy to it that is just wonderful and helps keep us grounded.

    Always enjoy reading what you have to say!

  5. Congratulations on such a quality date with your husband!!! They are hard to come by.