Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Incredible, Bedable Egg -- A Sex Toy Review

Ivey's first SEX TOY review!! Wheeeee!!!!!!

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from The Adult Toy Shoppe asking if I'd be interested in joining their adult novelty review program. (Would I?!) After giving it thorough and careful consideration (Ummmmm.... yeah!), checking in with my team (Hey Vince! Ya wanna review a sex toy?), and checking out (slobber, slobber) their website I replied in my usual drawl, "Why thank you so much for askin'; I'd be delighted."

Since I was over-whelmed with the choices, I asked for a few recommendations. My lovely contact asked what type of things I was interested in and sent me a short list of items to peruse. With a huge and sincere "thank you," I selected this:


Now before I get into the review of this delightful little gem, let me tell you that Vince and I are pretty much toy newbies. I know, I know. Is there any-fuckin'-thing you two aren't new at? Shut up. We've got missionary and doggie down pat! And we've got about a year in with a nice 7" vibrating dildo, about 8 months with a little silicone butt plug (wheeee!), a very economical and efficient cock ring, and a couple of months with a nice little g-spot vibe. Were working on it!! Sheesh.

But the truth is, no we don't have a lot of experience with toys so we plan to use that to our reviewing advantage. Without a lot to compare to, we get to talk about it like virgins -- all excitement, wonder, and every once in a while, bafflement.

The Egg arrived in a nice discreet mailer and the first thing I noticed as I was tearing into the package was that I didn't need to get a set of tin-snips to open it. Packaging in general has gone nuts, but this was actually easy to get in to.

Now here I'm going to get a little stupid -- I looked for the directions. Ya know, suggestions for use. Ideas. Diagrams. There aren't any. Apparently the rest of the world knows that you hold the little vibrate-y thingy against whatever you want to, ya know, vibrate and that's all you need to know. Fortunately, I have a high IQ and Vince is quite mechanical so it we figured it out pretty damn quick.

And then it sat on the counter, then on the bedside table, for a few days. In our defense we were busy. I my defense (sorry, honey) I have limited patience so after a few days of resistance, it seduced me from the side-table and I succumbed to its siren call. (Grin!) Solo.

Very, verrrrrryyyyyy, verrrrrrrbzzzzzzz......... ahhhhh..... yes!.... nice.

First, the Cyberskin feels fantastic. Unlike the hard rubber of the dildo or the plastic casing of the g-spot vibrator, this little ovum has a soft, pliable feel. It felt good in my hand but even better on my clit. I was super wet, naturally, in a matter of moments.

The Flicker part -- the small tip protruding from the end -- was even better. It is so soft that you really only register the feeling NOT the material. I let it very lightly lick my click, but some very nice sensations registered as I moved it slowly down and back across my lips, labia, and to the very sensitive area around my pussy. One minor caveat (which we'll cover more in a minute) is that it can be too intense if used directly on my clit. That could be because I'm hyper-sensitive, or because wasn't wielding it properly, but having control became key to my enjoyment.

The vibrations, wrapped in the soft Cyberskin, are divine. I moved it between my clit and my ass and that .... well..... that hit the spots. I moved it this way and that, to my inner thigh and where the joints meet, back to the goodies then up to the nipples then back south again. When I couldn't stand it anymore and was starting to squirm reflexively, I held it firmly to my clit until I reached a wonderfully intense orgasm, much more intense that just manual stimulation alone ever provides.

So solo sex with the Egg was terrific. With one teensy little problem.

There's a short of some sort in the wire between the egg and the controller. All of my other toys (both of them) have internal batteries. This was my first experience with a corded toy so at first I thought I was doing something wrong but soon realized that if either the egg or the controller moved a certain way then the vibration would stop. A frustrating experience when everything else is going along so well!

(That said, we think Vince can fix it. He's going to take it to his shop and see if he can re-wire the little devil.)

But before we got to the Mr.-fix-it part of the experience we wanted to give it a shot in a two-some scenario. After all, I now knew which way to hold the thing so as long as we maintained our powers of concentration, the short shouldn't be a problem.

Maintain powers of concentration. Right.

We know that I had a good time with the egg so now it's Vincent's turn and I must say, we both enjoyed it. I moved that little sucker -- vibe then flick then vibe then flick -- all over my honey's package: taint, behind the balls, at the base from below, from above, up and down the shaft, and gently (GENTLY! DAMMIT, IVEY!!) on his soft, sensitive mushroom-capped head.

The vibration on the prostate was an absolute winner. Again, the Cyberskin was very nice and really enhanced the sensation by not detracting from it. My personal favorite was pressing it to the base of his cock as I gave him head. The vibrations were so intense I could feel it not only in my mouth and tongue but all the way into my nose. And it tickled. Teehee. It was too intense for his head but that's probably just operator error and we can't blame the tool for that, can we?

We did decide to keep it away from ass play since we were sharing it and moving it back and forth from my pussy to my clit. And we decided, what with the delicate wiring, that we wouldn't try inserting it into my pussy since getting out might further fuck up the wire. We also still aren't sure if that's how this toy should be used. Ig-nernt.

We decided to use lube for it this time and I'll just say a little goes a long way. Controlling the distance of the flicker is important to ensure that you don't cross from ohhhhh-fuck to Ow!-fuck! and the lube made it a bit too slippery to do that. But in hindsight, I don't really think we needed it.

The big finish on the couple play was once my little clitoris was vibrated into a state of near hysteria, he took over with his real tongue and I pressed the pulsing egg to my vaginal opening and this is where the "maintain control" thing came back to the scene. When I'm approaching orgasm I lose control of my hands and legs and kept turning the thing just the wrong way and the vibration would stop and my mind would go "whah? whah? oh... turn ... it... whah?" I'd be pulled out of my zone for a moment while I desperately got the thing turned back into the right fucking position so that it wouldn't peter out in the middle of my Big O.

And Big O I did. Hard. Loud. Intense. And oh, so fucking hawt.

So the Incredible Bedable Egg (The Cyberskin Flicker Vibrating Egg) gets an A-. When it works -- holy mother of god. When it stops working -- awww hell!

Now where's that extra wire and soldering iron?


  1. I am laughing out loud that Vince is going to rehardwire a vibe using a soldering iron - my hubby would do the exact same thing! That amp building equipment comes in handy from time to time : )

  2. Ig-nernt! Hilarious. Sounds like fun was had by all! Sorry for the delay in emailing!!!!

  3. Lol. Sounds like fun. :p I love vibrating eggs, most of the time. Happy Friday!