Sunday, July 11, 2010

A little random Sunday stuff

It has been, without a doubt, a great week! We got A LOT accomplished at work, closed another client (More work! Yippeee!!!!!), had a great 2nd date with a couple, talked to one friend, missed another, returned to the gym (aka feeling MUCH better), Vince took another flying lesson, we took the motorcycle out for a spin, and fixed a few projects around the house. Oh, yes!! That is a good week. And as always, caused me to reflect a little.

Our work: We've worked hard to build our little lifestyle and I'm not talking about swinging. It's creatively and technically challenging, we get to travel all over the country to some of the most popular as well as out-of-the-way places our gorgeous country has to offer. We learn the most amazing things; we meet even more amazing people. But mostly, we do all of this together.

What we do with our time, how we spend it, is pretty much all up to us. Yes, we have project deadlines (that we set) but there is no one who can second guess, grant or withhold permission, or generally tell us what, when, or how to do something. We used to say that we were practicing for retirement; now we've decided hell, we practically ARE retired. LOL

Swinging: We had a second date with a A&J. They came out to hear Vince play and we had a great time. Our first date was at a restaurant and we've learned -- always learning -- that may not be the best place. First, it's too quiet and you can't have the kind of open discussion that really helps you get to know someone. Second, if you guys haven't figured it out, I'm a talker. Vince is a listener. In this case, the Mr. A&J is also a talker so he and I got to know each other at the first date while Vince and Mrs. A&J, well, didn't. But this time they got to talk and flirt to the point that Vince leaned over and told me to set up the playdate. The Mr. and I working out the details!

Also, Vince is an awesome guitar player and quite frankly, the ladies find it hot. Seriously. Just hot. It's also a place where his comfort and confidence rule. He is "himself" there, the guy I know, the king; whereas when we're just hangin' at a restaurant he is much more reserved.

It also takes the pressure off, there is no pressure to play on a first date because we can't. He's working. Also, the clubs are a sexier atmosphere. We still keep the behavior "vanilla" but we can dance, and laugh, and lean in and talk in someone's ear, and place a hand on their arm or back or shoulder or whatever and no one raising an eyebrow. We've met a few other couples this way and are having a lot more success than we did before! Again, I say "Yipppeee!!!"

The gym (my health): I haven't had a major pain episode in almost three weeks (knock on wood) and have started picking up my workout routine again. I love lifting weights, love increasing the weight, the sweat, the good pain, the focus. Just love it. I wish my body responded better, as in losing fat, but it doesn't and well, there ya go. Either way, there is something about knowing that my legs press 300 pounds and watching my biceps flex when I curl 17.5 pounds for 2 sets of 20 reps that makes my mind and spirit soar. It charges me up and increases my confidence so much that it (almost) doesn't matter if I never lose a pound. That sweat makes me feel freakin' sexy!

As for the missing pain, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If it stays away for a few more weeks, I'll probably return to karate too. Or maybe I'll pick up a new sport? Don't know for sure but it does seem that I need at least three high intensity workouts in order to maintain my weight. Whatever.

Talked to a friend: I have a few blogger friends that are truly turning into real friends. This week I actually talked to one of them on the phone. This one happens to be a swinger but that's not the point -- we actually had a very vanilla conversation but with no pauses, gaps or awkwardness and lots and lots of laughter. The complexities and hell, the logistics! of swinging may mean that we never actually play together (and when you read this, you know I hope we do) but so what? Seriously, I'd like this person if I'd never seen the first HNT photo. ;)

But the major revelation is that this what I mean when I talk about my world, our world, expanding. My goal, in swinging or anything else, is not to create new compartments into which to shove people but rather to expand the possibilities with the people we truly relate to. The fact that a sexual experience is possible is simply one more layer of connection, but the connection is what is important.

There's also the possibility that Vince and I may get the chance to meet this person in real life before the year is out, making that on-line to real world expansion even more fluid. Way cool.

Missed a friend: The other side of this is that I'm truly creating real connections. Another on-line friend was on vacation with their family so our correspondence was a little more sparse than usual. This on-line friend I've never heard, never seen a picture of, and only know through our back and forth exchanges via email and yet..... I feel like a real friendship has developed and because of that, I've missed him but I've loved knowing that he was having a good time with HIS family. Enjoying HIS life. I love that I make his life a little fuller, a little more entertaining, maybe a little more fun and sex-ay. But the feeling of compersion (great term, thanks Sadie and Goose!) of feeling pleasure at the pleasure of someone else is awesome! And it's becoming a regular part of my life, replacing doubt, jealousy, fear, insecurity, and loneliness. Just awesome.

And this feeling is growing not only in my but in Vince as well. Vince of course, knows about my on-line relationships. He knows that they aren't all that vanilla. LOL And one must admit that for a husband to know that his wife exchanges sexually charged emails with another man, takes a lot of personal relationship confidence. But he also knows it contributes to my overall happiness, my enjoyment of life, my connection with others. These people are truly becoming friends, but he and he alone is my husband.

Flying lessons: I mentioned last week that Vince has wanted to learn to fly since he was a boy. He's 46 year old now. We observed last week that this change I've been going through for the past couple of years, becoming a better me, the desire to "experience" all life has to offer, hasn't just affected me positively, but him as well. In addition to the sexual possibilities his experiences are going through the roof -- photography, sailing, flying and many others.

And the pursuit of swinging, in a way, is what has opened all of these possibilities mainly because of the constant, clear communication that has grown between us, but also because the communication does force one to self-examine, to ask hard questions and to listen for answers. The biggest being -- If this life I have today were to end tomorrow, did I do everything I wanted to do? Did I embrace the opportunities presented? Did I pursue my passions? Did I live fully? If I look back, was my life as rich with connections and experiences as I could make it?

Seriously, to me that's what swinging, flying, sailing, motorcycling, acting, living, and loving are all about.

We took the motorcycle out: Our bike had a bit of a mechanical problem last week and Vince fixed it this week so Saturday we were back on the open road! First of all, I just love that thing. I sit on the back, Vince snuggly between my thighs and just enjoy the scenery and thoughts that fill my head as he tours his precious Ivey around the back roads and beaches of Florida. When I'm back there I am totally not in control and I love it. I am in his hands.

Fixed a few things around the house: Vince and I are both pretty handy and there is something about being master of your stuff that is just as confidence building as lifting weights, working out, and wearing sexy undies. You're not a slave to things. Knowing things can be repaired and that you have the skills and the can-do to repair them is, to my mind, one of the things that separates the kids from the adults. It's not just responsibility but it's curiosity, competence, ability and all of these traits I find very, very sexy.

Have a great week everyone! I'm off to the same resort/spa I was at the first time swinging ever came up. In fact, it was almost exactly one year ago to the day. And it's been a hell of a wonderful year!!


  1. Congrats on the great year and wonderful week.
    That feeling of increasing weight at the gym is great. It's such a feeling of accomplishment.

  2. Sounds like a fabulous week! Everyone needs to have weeks like this more often. And congrats on your "hell of a wonderful year" too. :)

  3. I'm so glad to hear that the mystery pain seems to be going away and hope it stays away!!

    You should know this already, but I treasure the blogger friends that have become "real" friends and am happy to count you as one of them!

  4. Several things in the post are running parallel to things hubby and I have been talking about lately, so the timing of it was perfect for me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts... they help me muddle through my own on many an occasion!


  5. The statement that you noted about living life to the fullest hit really home with me. I've always attempted to live life to the fullest and it seems like since entering the lifestyle you do in a way beyond anyones wildest dreams. The self analysis and communication is so much richer than when I was in my vanilla lifestyle. It feels like I can really be me without the bull crap, just myself exposed and trusting. Glad to hear that the pain is gone :) you go girl on the weights. Working out is a highlight of my day.